Tomorrow

It's Sunday night. This is the 8th time I've come up on the Sunday night syndrome... "the night before chemo". I thought this time that it would not be a big deal, since I've done it seven other times! And afterall, I should be rejoicing because, Lord willing if all goes as planned, it will be my last big chemo treatment. I hope it really is my last one.

But I still find myself emotionally dreading tomorrow. Again. What am I dreading? Hmmm...it's really simple, I think. I dread sitting there, watching all the meds go into my port, one after the other. When I sit there I am physically faced with the reality that I have cancer. I know I have cancer...but at home, I'm still me. I'm a wife, a mother, a daughter,a sister, a friend. When I am there, I'm a cancer patient, sitting and talking to other cancer patients. It's a long, long day.

So I will go tomorrow...with my Tommy by my side this time. I'm so glad he is coming. I'll also go with Jesus by my side. That is not a nice, religious saying that I am throwing out. I really do depend on the fact that Jesus is going with me tomorrow. He's been there for the other seven, I know He'll be there tomorrow. I believe Him when He said " I will never leave you."

I do hope it will be my last chemo treament.

Renewal from the Lord!

Wow. I really did get to go Friday night and Saturday. Hooray!!! I felt pretty well around 4:00 on Friday so Betsy and Carissa and I all ate at Cracker Barrel and then headed to the Women of Faith conference after that. It was wonderful! I couldn't believe that I was well enough to be sitting there. Nicole Nordeman performed (which was another wow!), Sandi Patty sang one song and Patsy Clairemont spoke. They were all tremendous.

We all came back Sat am and stayed the day. We heard Luci Swindoll, Marilyn Meeburg, Allison Allen, Sheila Walsh, a comedienne named Anita Renfroe, and Thelma Wells. Sandi Patty performed in the afternoon and was absolutely incredible. ALL of it was about being free in Christ, truly free.

I am so grateful to the Lord for restoring my strength enough to be there. This weekend was like an I.V. of renewal and encouragement pouring into my heart, refreshing my spirit. I feel revived!

Thank you for praying me there! Lots of you I know were diligently interceding for me this week. Thank you. If you had seen me Wednesday you would not have thought I was going ANYWHERE for weeks. My friend Sandy Mc told me to watch for all the different miracles that God would show me along this healing road. This week was one of those miracles. He lifted me up and got me there by His love and strength and healing power.

O God, my dear Heavenly Father, I thank You! You are so good! So good. So tender to lift my heart up again just when I was feeling weary along this long road. Thank You, Faithful God! I give You the glory, You the praise! There is no one holy but You!

Better

Doing better today. I still have the cold and a new persistent cough, but my sore throat is gone.

My plan is to take it easy today and hopefully go tonight to the conference. I am just waiting to see hour by hour how I feel. Either way, Betsy and 2 college friends are going tonight and tomorrow all day. I'm so thankful she is getting to go. Hopefully I will be joining them, but if not, I'm glad they will be blessed to be there.

Thanks for your prayers. I am so much better than Wednesday! Yeah God!!!