One more done, 7 to go.
Today...today two things happened at treatment. One was that I found out they were done treating the lymph nodes at my collar bone and on my back. So...today I only had two places treated, instead of the four I have been getting. That was great.
The other thing was when they began my treatment I just started to get very teary and emotional. I don't know why. The tears rolled off my cheek as my head stayed frozen. I couldn't wipe them away, because I couldn't move. I could hear Fernando Ortega singing the hymn in the background. When the therapists came back one of them said, "are you all right?" I said "I don't know why, I'm just teary today." They said that's okay, some days are like that...handed me a Kleenex. They left, then the treatment continued. I slowly got composed. The women came back and I was done. Hopped off the table.
I guess there's something emotional about coming to an end. I've been at this so long. I don't know. I'll keep thinking about this...one day at a time.
God is still so near. Breathing calm into my very heart as I laid there with tears falling down. So real.
Thank You, Jesus...You are tender and faithful to me.
Seven's the number for today.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Monday, June 18, 2007
Countdown
Nine. Nine left.
I haven't really described radiation.
I go in and sit in the lobby until they call my name. Then the PA system says "Mrs. Carr". So I go back to a changing room, put a gown on from the waist up and sit again in the back hall. There is one radiation room that we all rotate in and out of. So someone comes out, passes by me in their little gown and then they call my name.
I march in to THE room. When I go in they ask me which CD I want to hear. When I first started it took me 3 treatments to realize that Aretha Franklin was NOT on the radio, but they were playing a CD. She kept singing "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" at exactly the same time everyday. :-) (I'm a little slow.) So I asked if I could bring in my own CD's and they said yes. I started by listening to Twila Paris. The cool thing is that my nurses all really like my CD's and they keep them on, so the other patients after me also hear them. My treatment usually lasts for 3-4 songs, then I'm done. So they put in the CD and I go lie down on the table, face up.
My hands go above my head, holding a bar. The radiation machine moves toward me and gets up close enough that I can feel its heat...about 8 inches. VERY carefully they align the machines lights to the lines on my body, which are all marked in red and black. Once the 4 women technicians are satisfied that it is perfectly lined up, then they leave the room, and a huge lead door shuts. I am totally alone in the room. They can see me from a monitor room. The machine makes some preliminary hums and then there is a loud buzz and some clicking sounds. That means the radiation is on. The buzz lasts about 20 seconds for the first area they treat. All this time I can hear Twila singing in the background "God is in Control", "We will glorify", "the Joy of the Lord will be my strength" or some others. I try to focus totally on the song and my thoughts and prayers.
The women come back in, reset the lines and the machine, leave, and then I get zapped again. They do this four times...my chest, under my arm, near my collar bone (lymph nodes) and on my back (lymph nodes again from another angle.) Then, after the fourth one, I'm done...I can put my arms down. So I sit up, hop off the table and leave the room, greeting the next patient as I pass them by. That's it. Change back to my clothes. Drive home.
Nine to go.
Not that I'm counting or anything.
I haven't really described radiation.
I go in and sit in the lobby until they call my name. Then the PA system says "Mrs. Carr". So I go back to a changing room, put a gown on from the waist up and sit again in the back hall. There is one radiation room that we all rotate in and out of. So someone comes out, passes by me in their little gown and then they call my name.
I march in to THE room. When I go in they ask me which CD I want to hear. When I first started it took me 3 treatments to realize that Aretha Franklin was NOT on the radio, but they were playing a CD. She kept singing "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" at exactly the same time everyday. :-) (I'm a little slow.) So I asked if I could bring in my own CD's and they said yes. I started by listening to Twila Paris. The cool thing is that my nurses all really like my CD's and they keep them on, so the other patients after me also hear them. My treatment usually lasts for 3-4 songs, then I'm done. So they put in the CD and I go lie down on the table, face up.
My hands go above my head, holding a bar. The radiation machine moves toward me and gets up close enough that I can feel its heat...about 8 inches. VERY carefully they align the machines lights to the lines on my body, which are all marked in red and black. Once the 4 women technicians are satisfied that it is perfectly lined up, then they leave the room, and a huge lead door shuts. I am totally alone in the room. They can see me from a monitor room. The machine makes some preliminary hums and then there is a loud buzz and some clicking sounds. That means the radiation is on. The buzz lasts about 20 seconds for the first area they treat. All this time I can hear Twila singing in the background "God is in Control", "We will glorify", "the Joy of the Lord will be my strength" or some others. I try to focus totally on the song and my thoughts and prayers.
The women come back in, reset the lines and the machine, leave, and then I get zapped again. They do this four times...my chest, under my arm, near my collar bone (lymph nodes) and on my back (lymph nodes again from another angle.) Then, after the fourth one, I'm done...I can put my arms down. So I sit up, hop off the table and leave the room, greeting the next patient as I pass them by. That's it. Change back to my clothes. Drive home.
Nine to go.
Not that I'm counting or anything.
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