It's Monday now...last Tuesday was my surgery. Tom and I left the house at 4:30 and got to the hospital at 5:30. Surgery started at 7:30 and lasted a couple of hours. The surgeon spoke to Tommy that morning and said everything went well, no problems or complications. That was good to hear.

I stayed in the hospital Tuesday night and came home on Wednesday afternoon. Our friend from Tennessee, Debbie, got here that afternoon also, so she was right here ready to help with post surgery recovery. She is a nurse, besides just being a wonderful, sweet friend. She stayed with us all this week and helped with so many things. Again, the Lord provided just the right person for what was going on.

I've had a hard time coming back to write on the blog this time. I think it's because of the private nature of this surgery. But most of you already know...it was a radical modified mastectomy. One friend said "isn't modified kind of an oxymoron in this situation?" :-) Yes...the "modified" just means that muscle tissue was kept.

The doctor called us on Wednesday with the path report. The lymph nodes that were removed did have cancer. We knew that from last October...but it was hard to hear it confirmed. The tumor had been reduced, but they said that there was still cancer in the tissue, scattered in it. All of that news was very hard news to hear. The only "good news" our surgeon said was that the chemo had worked...she could see it's effect on the cancer.

SO...now I am in recovery mode. Not just my physical recovery, although that is certainly true, but recovery of heart and mind too. Every year of my life I am convinced of the interweaving of our body, soul, mind and heart. (Those four parts are described in Mark 12:30). They are interconnected...not separate compartments. When my body is weakened, I find that my heart is too. This week was physically and emotionally hard...and my heart and hope were weakened too. The surgery was difficult to walk through, but the harder part has been facing the big picture. The cancer issue. Tommy is reminding me daily that we are in a marathon...and I'm really only on about mile ten. Not half-way, but maybe getting close to half-way. The trick is staying focused on today, or this week's issue, without looking too far ahead.

I think I feel like Peter when he stepped out of the boat. He was doing so well as long as he kept looking at Jesus. Then Scripture says "but when he saw the wind he was afraid and started to sink". If the wind is the path report...then, yeah, I saw the "wind".
I want to keep my eyes on Jesus. Listen to Him. Not look down. The great part of that story is that Jesus grabbed Peter when he was beginning to sink. I feel grabbed, I guess.

I choose to trust the Lord.
I choose to keep my hope in things unseen.
I choose to let Him fight this battle.
I don't know the end of this story...but no matter what it is, I am choosing to love and trust my God.

I love the old hymn "My Hope is Built on Nothing Less".

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' Name
On Christ the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand.

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood
When all around my soul gives way
He then is all my hope and stay
On Christ the Solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.