Seven Years

Seven years ago today, October 18th, 2006, I was diagnosed with lobular breast cancer, advanced stage 3.  I went to the appointment in Little Rock by myself because Tom and I didn't think anything would happen at that appointment.  We knew I was seeing the breast cancer surgeon, but we thought that she would say something like "yes, I can feel something but let's get some scans to be sure."  She was sure enough to tell me right then and there, last appointment of her day, that she was sure it was cancer. I was in shock.  (The next day the scans, biopsy and general testing began hurriedly.)  It was the last time that I went to doctors alone. I could barely drive home, going about 45 miles per hour from Baptist hospital area through North Little Rock and on to Searcy.  I got off on the exit for Cabot, pulled into the parking lot for Home Depot, called Tom with tears falling off my face.  He said he would come get me in Cabot, but I said "no" and kept going. I made it home.

Seven years ago I was shocked with this news. Tears were plentiful.

But today...there were some tears in the first part of the morning, but as the day went on, God lifted my heart.  Tom encouraged me, prayed with me, and took me to get mums and pumpkins for decoration. A sister called to check on me, to lovingly listen one more time.  Then, a dear friend came to sit and visit with me, quietly listening to me talk and gently sharing her encouraging words as we sat outside in the sunshine.  While we were sitting there another friend delivered a beautiful bouquet of flowers from another friend who lives in Fayetteville, AR.  Perfect timing.  Then we went out to eat with Jamie and Natalie...nice visit time!  All the quiet, precious moments.  In those seven years I learned that every action of love...listening, phone calls, flowers, gifts, pumpkins, hugs, and much, much more are all Jesus showing up in my day.  His Presence is felt.  I believe it is God, not random acts of kindness, but purposeful acts of love.  Thank You God!

The seven years have been hard, full of opportunities to learn life lessons and to receive lots of strength from God.  Here I am seven years later...not knowing what I have to face next week, or the next week, much less next month or year.  I am walking in trust and hope and faith...one day at a time.  That's the biggest lesson I have learned...to live ONE DAY AT A TIME.

"Don't be anxious about tomorrow. Tomorrow's anxious for itself.  Today's own troubles are enough for today. And put away all your yesterdays.  Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you." 

Seven years.  I am grateful for every one of them.  God has blessed me so much to witness important milestones.  I've lost friends in those years, not understanding all the questions of why.  I miss them.  I don't wear pink ribbons or bracelets except in the month of October.  I'm wearing them this month, as a remembrance of those that lost their battle but won the war.  And I thank God over and over for this gift called life.

Tomorrow is October19th.  Life will continue.  I will awaken and slowly get going for the day.  The words "thank You God for another day"  are prayed in the first hour of the day.  I'll look for the sweetness of God in the quiet events of my quiet but full life. I'm thankful for this day and I thank God for October 19th as well.

God,
This has been a day of remembering but not lingering over the past.  I do not want to "remember" all the difficult milestones.  They are too much.  BUT I do want to celebrate today!  Life is from You, and I am thankful for today.  Please continue to hold us up with Your amazing love.  Please give us strength and joy as our family, together, fights this battle.  Pour hope into our minds.  I do not want to lose hope, O God.  You alone are the source of that hope.  Thank You!  I love You, forever, dear God.  I am trusting You to cover me with Your powerful Love.
In the Name of Your Son, Jesus,
Amen.
Lisa