Thanksgiving Day

Yesterday Tom and I went to my oncologist. She told us that the MRI showed that I have metastatic bone cancer in my shoulder. It is actually in two places...my humerus bone and my scapula (the upper arm bone and the shoulder blade).

Yesterday was pretty much a roller coaster of emotions and shock. I really went in with full hope that it was NOT cancer. SO...I had not prepared my ears or heart enough I guess to hear her say that it was.

She told us that of all the places for the cancer to move to in my body this would be her first choice because bone cancer is very treatable. I didn't know that. There are a lot of good meds that work successfully in treating this cancer.

My next step is to go back on Monday for a CT scan of my shoulders and brain. The MRI showed the length of the lesion (an eating away of the bone) that was 6 cm long, but they don't know the depth of the lesion. The CT scan will show that. The brain scan is just because that is the only area they haven't scanned in the past couple of weeks...she said she doesn't expect a problem there.

She will be taking me off of Tamoxifen and I will begin a bone strengthening med plus some other endocrine med. I will be meeting with an orthopedic surgeon so he can assess the stability of my arm. In the meantime she told me not to lift anything weighty, as we don't want a break on top of everything else.

She also told us that I am now stage 4. When you have recurrence you automatically move to that stage. She also said that nowadays there are lots of people who continue to live for years in stage 4 cancer. They are managing cancer with treatments, like addressing a chronic disease. She felt hopeful that I would be a candidate for treating this successfully. We can treat it, just not cure it.

Last night after Betsy got off work we sat down in the living room with all four children and told them everything. We talked, cried, read Scriptures and prayed together. I am SO blessed to have such an incredible family. My sweet husband is, once again, amazing and strong, although he did have a hard day yesterday. When you are in prayer for all of this please remember Tommy and the children too.

Once again I am asking the Lord for a radical healing of my shoulder. He said we could ask Him anything...so let's all ask. If the miracle healing doesn't come, then I will, again, trust Him with any road he will takes me down. He is an awesome, faithful and loving God. The Scripture that says God's ways are not my ways, His thoughts are not my thoughts has been on my heart since yesterday. I do not see the "why" in this, but I trust God to see much further than my eyes can see...so I will trust in Him.

It is Thanksgiving Day. I am thankful...for my sweet husband and 4 children, for my other family members, for so, so many friends, for good doctors and caretakers, for living in a nation with great medical knowledge and care, for our home and food and the simple basics of life, for this day...today...which is the only day I'm promised, and most of all, for my wonderful God. He is Savior, Friend, Comforter, Truth and Life itself.

Today I choose to wear a "garment of praise and not a spirit of heaviness".

Today I am thankful.

Thank You, O God, thank You for all that You are and all that You have given to me!
In Jesus' Name. Amen.