On Tuesday, Tom and I went to Little Rock for the follow-up appointment after the biopsy. I thought it was going to be a discussion of plans, then we'd go home and talk about the options. It was that...and more.
My oncologist said the path report said that the cells looked like the same original cancer from four years ago. The report does not actually say "breast cancer", but it says the cells appear to look the same as the cells from 2006. (Small distinction, but one she corrected from what I heard said last week.) She was very quick to say that it was small and that we caught this very early, which was great, of course. In December she had switched my med to Arimidex, an estrogen blocker taken orally. The original breast cancer was estrogen positive, which means, it feeds and grows from any available estrogen. Now, she wanted to switch me to another blocker, but one you can't use until you've been diagnosed with recurrence. It is called Faslodex. They administer it in 2 shots, once a month. The other med she prescribed was Zometa, a bone strengthener. It is administered by IV. I'll receive that once a month as well.
Then she said "I want you to start today".
I thought "what?"
I was not mentally prepared to do that. I'm the kind of person who likes to know things in advance. Tom is Mr. Flexible, Mr. Spontaneous. I am not. Just the opposite. I had to adjust to the idea of starting something immediately. Then...she said "we have you scheduled to go upstairs to the third floor, the Chemotherapy Suite, and they will administer it there right away."
Did she say Chemotherapy Suite?!
Immediately, a flood of emotions poured into my mind and heart. I really, really, really, really didn't want to walk in there. Period. I knew that this was not "chemo", but it was just going to be hard to step into that room. But... with the gentle counsel and love of my sweet Tommy, he patiently coaxed my thoughts towards accepting it emotionally. Then...we went upstairs to the third floor. I took a deep breath, walked in and began greeting the nurses that I knew from past visits. First I got the IV put in my right hand, then they gave me the Zometa. It didn't take long...saline flush, med, saline flush...all done in about 30 minutes. Got the shots. Got the next appointments. We were out of there. We went to eat a late lunch and then headed home.
Long, hard day.
The next day, Wednesday, I didn't do so well. Achey, fever, chills... yadda, yadda, yadda. Another long day.
This morning...hope reappeared. I woke up feeling physically SO much better and my heart felt restored again.
On Tuesday...hard day...God was there.
On Wednesday...hard day...God was there.
On Thursday...nice day...God was there.
I do not know what tomorrow will be.
But I do know this...God WILL be there.
He is faithful. He is faithful. He is faithful.
O God Most High,
Thank You for Your love and faithfulness.
Thank You for this day.
And I know, when the sun rises tomorrow, You WILL be there.
Thank You.
In the Name of Jesus.
6 comments:
Lisa I know God gave you that sweet husband to be by your side every step of the way. He is your God on earth! Please know we are praying for you every day and really my thoughts are with you all the time. I just lift you and Tom up all day long for strength and peace.
Psalms 27:14 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. I know he has great plans for you and this is a faithbuilder along the way. Love you sweet Lisa!
Lisa,
I hate that you are going through this but, I'm so thankful you are willing to always rely on God for your strength. You are an inspiration and encouragement to so many. Your testimony is powerful. Thank you for being honest and sharing your struggles and victories. I will keep praying for your complete healing! Love you so much!
Heidi
Love you, Lisa.
Lisa,
Nancy H. sent me your CD as a birthday gift last month. It has been such a blessing to me!! Yesterday an email from her alerted me to your new test results, of which I had not known. Please know that I will be praying for you in Montgomery--for total healing, and for God to hold you, yours, and all involved in your care in the palm of His hand through all.
Arlene Morris
Lisa, you don't know me personally, but I am a member of the Frederick Church of Christ mission team. I have been following your blog and praying for you. I know cancer all too well. My mother is a breast cancer survivor and my sister is a two time breast cancer survivor. I lost my baby sister at 43 to lung cancer 2 years ago and my cousin (like a sister to me) to lung cancer 1 year ago. Through all the pain, I witnessed God do amazing miracles and blessings. Your faith inspires and encourages me. I am praying for your total healing and trusting that God holds you in His hand and loves you beyond our comprehension. Love you, Debbie
Thinking of you this morning Lisa, and hoping today is a good day. Thank you for sharing your challenges of going back for chemo.I love you and wanted to remind you that I think of you often.
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