Yesterday was a great medical day. I got my port out! Woohoo!!!
Tom took me to Little Rock early in the morning. The surgery was about 9 am. We were back in Searcy by noon! The surgeon said it was very routine, no problems at all. I had LOTS of prayer cover which I am grateful for! I could tell I was being prayed for...I just felt peace all day. I am very thankful to the Lord for His mercy and care over me in this procedure.
It wasn't a very serious surgery, as surgeries go, but it was a very symbolic surgery. It means that my doctor thinks my future is fine without a port. I could have demanded a long time ago to get it out, but I waited until she felt like it was okay and agreed to her timetable. SO...now...I am portless. :-)
It is a wonderful milestone. It lets me move into a new status...less cancer patient, more cancer survivor. The port always reminded me of my chemo treatments...and it reminded me that I might need it again. I am believing that I will not need it again. I have become an optimist. It is NOT my nature. I was born to be an "Eeyore". :-) By choice...I work at being a Tigger. I am believing that I am done with cancer. I don't know...but I am walking day by day in hope. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen.
Really...I have to work at NOT looking that far into the future. But if I do, then I work at believing with hope that I will see my great grandchildren someday.
Lord God,
THANK YOU for this wonderful step forward. Thank You for prayers answered. Thank You for sustaining my life. Thank You for Your holy and tender love. I praise You, O Lord! To You I give all the glory and honor.
Amen.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Graduation Day for me
This week was a week of medical appointments. Monday I went in to Little Rock and had a CT scan of my chest, abdomen and pelvic areas, and then I had a bone scan of my entire body. The whole purpose...to see any suspicious activity on the scans in case the cancer has returned.
Most cancer survivors approach their scan days with some anxiety. It is very hard not to. I try not to but there is always a little voice in the back of my mind that mentally battles recurrence.
I had the tests on Monday but had to wait until Wednesday for the results. And the results were...(drumroll)... once again, they saw no cancer on the scans! Yeah!!! Yeah God.
After my doctor talked about the scans she said that I don't have to come back for 4 months. I have been going to the oncologist every 3 months now for 3 years, and sometimes more often than that. She also said I will not have another scan for 8 months. I have been doing those every 6 months. And the last "graduation" proclamation was that she gave me permission to get my port out. THAT is big news.
A friend of mine said "I didn't know you still have your port, Lisa." I explained that after I finished my treatment I asked my doctor if I could get my port out and she said "not quite yet". Then about 1 year later I asked again and she said "does it bother you? If not, let's keep it awhile longer". It wasn't that it was bothering me as much as it being symbolic that she did not QUITE think this journey was over and that we should keep it in "just in case". She didn't say that, but when she steered me away from getting it out, those were the unspoken words.
SO...now she has given me permission! Again...it is a huge symbolic step. I am thankful. I'll probably try to get it out before Christmas. It's an outpatient surgery.
My nurse called it "graduation day". Yes..it is. The first year was filled with lots of fighting the disease with medical treatments; the second year, filled with an extraordinary surprise healing, rocking my theology and seeing God move a mountain; and the third year has been learning to fight the battles in my mind against cancer recurring.
And now, I begin Year Four...filled with a grateful heart, filled with hope. I know to not look too far ahead. I'm a one day at a time girl. It's all I can do...it's all I have been called to do.
That's all. November 11 is my graduation day...which was also Veteran's Day. World War I came to a close on that day in history. It was a day of declaring Peace.
God...Thank You for the victory You have given me in this flesh and blood called me. To You be ALL the glory, ALL the praise and ALL the honor. I am a veteran Lord. I am a stronger warrior in the kingdom of God today than I was 3 years ago. I do not declare peace against this enemy. I will continue to wage war against the enemy of this earth, by the power of Your Name, O God, and Your Son, Jesus. Thank You for every victory You have given to me all my life. Thank You.
In Jesus' Name.
Most cancer survivors approach their scan days with some anxiety. It is very hard not to. I try not to but there is always a little voice in the back of my mind that mentally battles recurrence.
I had the tests on Monday but had to wait until Wednesday for the results. And the results were...(drumroll)... once again, they saw no cancer on the scans! Yeah!!! Yeah God.
After my doctor talked about the scans she said that I don't have to come back for 4 months. I have been going to the oncologist every 3 months now for 3 years, and sometimes more often than that. She also said I will not have another scan for 8 months. I have been doing those every 6 months. And the last "graduation" proclamation was that she gave me permission to get my port out. THAT is big news.
A friend of mine said "I didn't know you still have your port, Lisa." I explained that after I finished my treatment I asked my doctor if I could get my port out and she said "not quite yet". Then about 1 year later I asked again and she said "does it bother you? If not, let's keep it awhile longer". It wasn't that it was bothering me as much as it being symbolic that she did not QUITE think this journey was over and that we should keep it in "just in case". She didn't say that, but when she steered me away from getting it out, those were the unspoken words.
SO...now she has given me permission! Again...it is a huge symbolic step. I am thankful. I'll probably try to get it out before Christmas. It's an outpatient surgery.
My nurse called it "graduation day". Yes..it is. The first year was filled with lots of fighting the disease with medical treatments; the second year, filled with an extraordinary surprise healing, rocking my theology and seeing God move a mountain; and the third year has been learning to fight the battles in my mind against cancer recurring.
And now, I begin Year Four...filled with a grateful heart, filled with hope. I know to not look too far ahead. I'm a one day at a time girl. It's all I can do...it's all I have been called to do.
That's all. November 11 is my graduation day...which was also Veteran's Day. World War I came to a close on that day in history. It was a day of declaring Peace.
God...Thank You for the victory You have given me in this flesh and blood called me. To You be ALL the glory, ALL the praise and ALL the honor. I am a veteran Lord. I am a stronger warrior in the kingdom of God today than I was 3 years ago. I do not declare peace against this enemy. I will continue to wage war against the enemy of this earth, by the power of Your Name, O God, and Your Son, Jesus. Thank You for every victory You have given to me all my life. Thank You.
In Jesus' Name.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Third year anniversary
Today is October 18th, 2009. Three years ago on this day I went to see a breast surgeon in Little Rock. She examined me and then started telling me all the tests that she was scheduling in the next 48 hours. I looked at her and said "so...are you concerned?" She said "Yes." I said "Are you very concerned?" And she looked me in the eye and said "Yes." Then I paused before I asked one more question. "Are you sure?" She looked at me this time with sadness and said "Yes."
That was the start of this journey.
More tests, more tears, emails,phone calls, prayers going on all over the country, a fast trip to see my parents. Then it was time to start the treatments: 4 chemos, surgery, 4 more chemos, 33 radiation treatments. Nine months later I finished my first marathon. God was so good, running before me and in me. Oh...what a wonderful, faithful God!
At my one year anniversary the craziness started up again. Scans, MRI, etc. all showed that I had metastatic bone cancer in my humerus and scapula. More tests, more tears, more crying out to the Lord, more gathering of prayers...but this time the story ended differently. God mercifully rescued me from the valley of death. One final test,a needle biopsy, determined that there was no cancer. Woohoo! That was very, very good news!
Since then I have had good reports, good tests, good exams. God has blessed me so much with an incredible husband and four wonderful children. My extended family and friends have been supportive, loving, encouraging prayer warriors. God worked through each one to hold me up throughout this race. Thank you to all of you!!!
This past year, the third year of this journey, has been a year of adventure. I wanted to step out, making decisions based on trusting God rather than fear. I had always thought I'd go to Africa with Tom SOMEDAY, but I wondered in my heart if I really could do that trip. Well, I did. I went to Africa in February, went to Ghana. It was an incredible trip. My eyes and my heart were opened up to the great need of that nation. I wasn't sure I was physically strong enough to do the trip, but I decided to go and just see God give me the strength for each day. And...He did.
I also went on a road trip by myself to Denver, CO and back this fall. That was a different kind of adventure, but still eye opening and wonderful. The Lord was with me and showed me amazing things along the way. I was so glad to get to do it. I'll write more about that some other time.
God continues to give me opportunities to sing and to speak to groups from time to time...to tell people that He is so good and loves us so much. I continue to work on my CD. I'm slowly getting there. Maybe I'll finish by Christmas. It looks like it will be a two disc album. I've waited so long to do this that I had a lot of songs to include on the CD.
So...it's been a great year. I praise God for His love and mercy over my life.
What are the main things that I've learned since October 18th, 2006?
I've learned that I am blessed beyond belief with people who love me. I am so grateful for each one. So blessed!
I've learned that God is still very, very near to me, even when life unfolds unexpectedly. He will never leave me.
I've learned to pray for everything and anything and all the whatevers in my life. I will boldly go to God with all my heart, trusting Him for whatever the answer will be, even if it's not what I thought it would be.
I've learned to truly live one day at a time, and to wake up thankful for that day.
I've learned to speak words of love to people around me more openly and to ask for forgiveness more quickly. I want everything said that needs to be said in that day.
I've learned to give grace more freely because I want to receive it more freely.
I've learned to recognize when fear sneaks into my thinking and to send it away. Perfect love, God's love, casts out fear. I want to live more and more courageously.
I've learned that healing is still happening today. Radical healing, "mighty acts of God" kind of healing. I want to believe and see more and more of it.
And I've learned that God redeems everything...even when it looks bad, He will redeem it for good. Yes, even cancer.
Oh Redeemer, God Most High,
I thank You for Your love and for Your forgiveness and mercy. I thank You for rescuing me from sickness and bringing me to strength and hope in You. I thank You for my loved ones, some nearby, some scattered around the world. I thank You for this day and that Your mercy is new every morning.
Thank You, Lord.... for these past three years of life.
In Jesus Name. Amen.
That was the start of this journey.
More tests, more tears, emails,phone calls, prayers going on all over the country, a fast trip to see my parents. Then it was time to start the treatments: 4 chemos, surgery, 4 more chemos, 33 radiation treatments. Nine months later I finished my first marathon. God was so good, running before me and in me. Oh...what a wonderful, faithful God!
At my one year anniversary the craziness started up again. Scans, MRI, etc. all showed that I had metastatic bone cancer in my humerus and scapula. More tests, more tears, more crying out to the Lord, more gathering of prayers...but this time the story ended differently. God mercifully rescued me from the valley of death. One final test,a needle biopsy, determined that there was no cancer. Woohoo! That was very, very good news!
Since then I have had good reports, good tests, good exams. God has blessed me so much with an incredible husband and four wonderful children. My extended family and friends have been supportive, loving, encouraging prayer warriors. God worked through each one to hold me up throughout this race. Thank you to all of you!!!
This past year, the third year of this journey, has been a year of adventure. I wanted to step out, making decisions based on trusting God rather than fear. I had always thought I'd go to Africa with Tom SOMEDAY, but I wondered in my heart if I really could do that trip. Well, I did. I went to Africa in February, went to Ghana. It was an incredible trip. My eyes and my heart were opened up to the great need of that nation. I wasn't sure I was physically strong enough to do the trip, but I decided to go and just see God give me the strength for each day. And...He did.
I also went on a road trip by myself to Denver, CO and back this fall. That was a different kind of adventure, but still eye opening and wonderful. The Lord was with me and showed me amazing things along the way. I was so glad to get to do it. I'll write more about that some other time.
God continues to give me opportunities to sing and to speak to groups from time to time...to tell people that He is so good and loves us so much. I continue to work on my CD. I'm slowly getting there. Maybe I'll finish by Christmas. It looks like it will be a two disc album. I've waited so long to do this that I had a lot of songs to include on the CD.
So...it's been a great year. I praise God for His love and mercy over my life.
What are the main things that I've learned since October 18th, 2006?
I've learned that I am blessed beyond belief with people who love me. I am so grateful for each one. So blessed!
I've learned that God is still very, very near to me, even when life unfolds unexpectedly. He will never leave me.
I've learned to pray for everything and anything and all the whatevers in my life. I will boldly go to God with all my heart, trusting Him for whatever the answer will be, even if it's not what I thought it would be.
I've learned to truly live one day at a time, and to wake up thankful for that day.
I've learned to speak words of love to people around me more openly and to ask for forgiveness more quickly. I want everything said that needs to be said in that day.
I've learned to give grace more freely because I want to receive it more freely.
I've learned to recognize when fear sneaks into my thinking and to send it away. Perfect love, God's love, casts out fear. I want to live more and more courageously.
I've learned that healing is still happening today. Radical healing, "mighty acts of God" kind of healing. I want to believe and see more and more of it.
And I've learned that God redeems everything...even when it looks bad, He will redeem it for good. Yes, even cancer.
Oh Redeemer, God Most High,
I thank You for Your love and for Your forgiveness and mercy. I thank You for rescuing me from sickness and bringing me to strength and hope in You. I thank You for my loved ones, some nearby, some scattered around the world. I thank You for this day and that Your mercy is new every morning.
Thank You, Lord.... for these past three years of life.
In Jesus Name. Amen.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Happy Birthday to me...
It is 11:56 pm and my birthday is about to officially end. I am determined to write on my blog today, so here I am, just getting it in before May 24th comes around.
Today was my 52nd birthday and it was a very good birthday. Nothing flashy, kind of low key. Tom and Jamie are not here right now, as they are traveling in Chile, South America. We'll celebrate when they get back, which is just fine with me because I try to spread my birthday out for as long as possible, sometimes for weeks.:-)
Today Mary and I went up to Camp Tahkodah. We got there right before noon and climbed up the side of the mountain to what is called Tahkodah Bluff. All of our children have gone to this wonderful church camp every summer. I've heard of the bluff year after year, but had never been up there. So, Mary and I climbed and climbed. She was patient and encouraging to her slow-moving 52 year old mother. When we got up to the huge boulder at the top there was a spectacular view. Wow...just beautiful. We had packed a picnic lunch and we ate it right there, overlooking the bluff. Pretty cool.
Then tonight Mary and Betsy and I made homemade sushi (we're getting pretty good at it) and the girls stuck a candle in the middle of the sushi and sang Happy Birthday. :-) Then we watched "Pride and Prejudice". Life is good. A very sweet evening, and a very good day.
So much has happened in the past few months since I last wrote on this blog. I did go to Africa and it was such a life changing experience. I'll write more about that some other time. Right after we got back, Tom's father began declining quickly in health. He passed away on April 1st at 95 years old. We all loved him so much, it was hard to say goodbye. And even though he was 95 there was some element of still not expecting it. We knew his death was coming, I would say even months before he passed away there were signs that it was time. And yet, something in our human nature is never REALLY prepared to let go of our loved ones. We know he is home...home with God.
Wow. What an incredible phrase... home with God. It is something we have confidence about as Christians, not because of being good enough, but because of the sacrifice of Jesus for our sins. Because of my cancer journey I've thought a lot about life and death and "going home". Many years ago when I was in college I wondered if I was really going to heaven...you know, would I "make it"? Then I had this dream one night. It was about Jesus coming back at the end of time. I had this overwhelming feeling of joy and peace that He was coming to get me. I wasn't thinking "oh no, I'm not ready" or "I don't want Him to see me yet". I had a complete confidence that I was saved and I WANTED to see Him because I belonged to Him. When I woke up, I knew the dream was a dream, but it also was like the Lord had settled this question in my heart for all the rest of my life. I haven't wondered once since that night if I would "make it". I know, with confidence, that I have already "made it"...not because I'm without sin or perfect or so good or ANYTHING that I could DO. I've "made it" because of Jesus' blood. When I gave my life to Jesus and to His whole plan of forgiving me and salvation, then His dying "made it" possible...for me. And for you too. There's no other way. But that's okay...we only need one way. I am SO grateful for His mercy and His love EVERYDAY.
Thursday I had another medical test day. Full bone scan and also a CT scan of my head, chest, abdomen and pelvis. It was a long day, with tests starting at 8:15 am. Finally about 3:30 I saw my doctor and she said "no cancer activity can be seen on any of the scans". YEAH GOD. I was completely thrilled and grateful to God!!!!! That really was an awesome birthday present.
SO...it has been a great week! "No cancer" on my report card from my oncologist. And a wonderful day celebrating one more year of life.
Thank You, O God, for Your everlasting kindness to me. You are SO holy and wonderful. I thank You for rescuing me from death. I thank You for giving me Life. Thank You for all my blessings...my husband, my children, my family and friends. Thank You for You...and Your love. Thank You for this this day, for this past year, and for the plans you already have for me in the days and years ahead. What a great day. Thanks. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
Today was my 52nd birthday and it was a very good birthday. Nothing flashy, kind of low key. Tom and Jamie are not here right now, as they are traveling in Chile, South America. We'll celebrate when they get back, which is just fine with me because I try to spread my birthday out for as long as possible, sometimes for weeks.:-)
Today Mary and I went up to Camp Tahkodah. We got there right before noon and climbed up the side of the mountain to what is called Tahkodah Bluff. All of our children have gone to this wonderful church camp every summer. I've heard of the bluff year after year, but had never been up there. So, Mary and I climbed and climbed. She was patient and encouraging to her slow-moving 52 year old mother. When we got up to the huge boulder at the top there was a spectacular view. Wow...just beautiful. We had packed a picnic lunch and we ate it right there, overlooking the bluff. Pretty cool.
Then tonight Mary and Betsy and I made homemade sushi (we're getting pretty good at it) and the girls stuck a candle in the middle of the sushi and sang Happy Birthday. :-) Then we watched "Pride and Prejudice". Life is good. A very sweet evening, and a very good day.
So much has happened in the past few months since I last wrote on this blog. I did go to Africa and it was such a life changing experience. I'll write more about that some other time. Right after we got back, Tom's father began declining quickly in health. He passed away on April 1st at 95 years old. We all loved him so much, it was hard to say goodbye. And even though he was 95 there was some element of still not expecting it. We knew his death was coming, I would say even months before he passed away there were signs that it was time. And yet, something in our human nature is never REALLY prepared to let go of our loved ones. We know he is home...home with God.
Wow. What an incredible phrase... home with God. It is something we have confidence about as Christians, not because of being good enough, but because of the sacrifice of Jesus for our sins. Because of my cancer journey I've thought a lot about life and death and "going home". Many years ago when I was in college I wondered if I was really going to heaven...you know, would I "make it"? Then I had this dream one night. It was about Jesus coming back at the end of time. I had this overwhelming feeling of joy and peace that He was coming to get me. I wasn't thinking "oh no, I'm not ready" or "I don't want Him to see me yet". I had a complete confidence that I was saved and I WANTED to see Him because I belonged to Him. When I woke up, I knew the dream was a dream, but it also was like the Lord had settled this question in my heart for all the rest of my life. I haven't wondered once since that night if I would "make it". I know, with confidence, that I have already "made it"...not because I'm without sin or perfect or so good or ANYTHING that I could DO. I've "made it" because of Jesus' blood. When I gave my life to Jesus and to His whole plan of forgiving me and salvation, then His dying "made it" possible...for me. And for you too. There's no other way. But that's okay...we only need one way. I am SO grateful for His mercy and His love EVERYDAY.
Thursday I had another medical test day. Full bone scan and also a CT scan of my head, chest, abdomen and pelvis. It was a long day, with tests starting at 8:15 am. Finally about 3:30 I saw my doctor and she said "no cancer activity can be seen on any of the scans". YEAH GOD. I was completely thrilled and grateful to God!!!!! That really was an awesome birthday present.
SO...it has been a great week! "No cancer" on my report card from my oncologist. And a wonderful day celebrating one more year of life.
Thank You, O God, for Your everlasting kindness to me. You are SO holy and wonderful. I thank You for rescuing me from death. I thank You for giving me Life. Thank You for all my blessings...my husband, my children, my family and friends. Thank You for You...and Your love. Thank You for this this day, for this past year, and for the plans you already have for me in the days and years ahead. What a great day. Thanks. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Africa
Once again, I've been slow to get back and write anything. I apologize for the long delay...but it is kind of a good thing that I don't have medical issues to report. I am very,very grateful to the Lord that I'm doing well.
My last checkup was fine. I had a CBC blood check in December and my numbers were pretty good, not perfect, but good. My iron level came up from November to December.
My big news is that I have been preparing for a major trip...I am going to Ghana, West Africa with Tom. This will be my first ever mission trip. Tom has been to Africa now 8 or 9 times. I'm glad I'm going with someone with that much experience, besides it just being sweet to be with him.
Going to Africa will be an exciting adventure and certainly a great opportunity to see what the Lord is doing across the world. But this trip is even more significant to me. This is a HUGE "mile marker" on my continued life race. I am now 2 years away from my breast cancer diagnosis. I am grateful to the Lord to be alive and to be able to do something so adventuresome.
I will say that before I had cancer I was timid and unsure of traveling anywhere so far away, but now I want to live everyday to the fullest. That includes doing things that I wouldn't have done before because of fear. I want to live fearlessly, walking in the strength of the Lord. SO...this trip is kind of like me skydiving...stepping out to do something that is hard but thrilling. I'm setting aside old fears and giving the Lord my list of concerns. He is faithful to take all of them so I don't have to. This is certainly not a one time exercise...but a continual laying my heart and my worries at His feet.
Please pray for us...for safety in our travels, for our children's well being while we are away, for no sickness or disease to come on us, for eyes that can see what He wants us to do while we are there and doing it, and to serve Him by serving and loving others we come to meet. Thanks for your covering of prayer.
So...here I go. Ready, set, JUMP. I am jumping into the unknown and trusting the Lord to take care of thousands of details. He is my loving Protector and Helper and Rock. I believe He knows how to skydive.
I will trust in the Lord, who is worthy to be praised!
Blessings to you all.
My last checkup was fine. I had a CBC blood check in December and my numbers were pretty good, not perfect, but good. My iron level came up from November to December.
My big news is that I have been preparing for a major trip...I am going to Ghana, West Africa with Tom. This will be my first ever mission trip. Tom has been to Africa now 8 or 9 times. I'm glad I'm going with someone with that much experience, besides it just being sweet to be with him.
Going to Africa will be an exciting adventure and certainly a great opportunity to see what the Lord is doing across the world. But this trip is even more significant to me. This is a HUGE "mile marker" on my continued life race. I am now 2 years away from my breast cancer diagnosis. I am grateful to the Lord to be alive and to be able to do something so adventuresome.
I will say that before I had cancer I was timid and unsure of traveling anywhere so far away, but now I want to live everyday to the fullest. That includes doing things that I wouldn't have done before because of fear. I want to live fearlessly, walking in the strength of the Lord. SO...this trip is kind of like me skydiving...stepping out to do something that is hard but thrilling. I'm setting aside old fears and giving the Lord my list of concerns. He is faithful to take all of them so I don't have to. This is certainly not a one time exercise...but a continual laying my heart and my worries at His feet.
Please pray for us...for safety in our travels, for our children's well being while we are away, for no sickness or disease to come on us, for eyes that can see what He wants us to do while we are there and doing it, and to serve Him by serving and loving others we come to meet. Thanks for your covering of prayer.
So...here I go. Ready, set, JUMP. I am jumping into the unknown and trusting the Lord to take care of thousands of details. He is my loving Protector and Helper and Rock. I believe He knows how to skydive.
I will trust in the Lord, who is worthy to be praised!
Blessings to you all.
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