Yesterday Tom and I went to Little Rock to see my doctor. She asked some questions, how I've been doing, etc. I told her that the past month's side effects have been more difficult. In July, I was still able to keep up with some limited activities (even told her about the Prodigals performances). But, the past three weeks have been hard. I've been fatigued, nauseous and have had a hard time with my appetite and eating. I've lost a few more pounds as well. She gave me a physical exam and then looked at the charts. Then she surprised me and said "We're not going to do the chemo today. Your counts are okay, but you just seem very tired to me today. Last month you came in and were very robust. I think you need a rest and a break. We will set up scans next week and then I will see you the following week, so you will have two weeks off. Hopefully you can regain some of your strength."
Wow...I was so, so surprised. I'd brought my handy tote bag that I always bring. It has a few snacks, water, a blanket and socks (the treatment room is very cold), ipod, kleenex, etc. I was expecting 3 hours of sitting but instead I only had about 30 minutes. (I did not get the two chemos, Avastin and Taxol, but I still received the bone strengthener Zometa. I receive that once a month, so she said to go ahead with that.)
Also, I was so, so happy! She was right...I am tired. I want to be a trooper, to always be strong. There are lots of days that God gives me that kind of strength. But I've had some rough days in the past 2 or 3 weeks. The fatigue, the food, the nausea...all add up to yukky. Plus, my hair is very thin now...shedding daily. Do I get out the wig or not? In addition to the physical symptoms, I've had some down days, dealing with sadness and discouragement. I do try to counter it with uplifting things...Christian music, reading the scriptures, talking and praying with friends. That does help. But then, it's a daily battle, day in, day out.
I did get more good news...the tumor marker tests (there are two) were both in the normal range and the calcium test was normal as well. That is really wonderful! I want to focus on those great results...but I can't help but wonder about the upcoming scans. All the questions, that are always there in the back of my mind, come to the forefront when there is an actual scan date. What will they show? Has the chemo been doing what we want? Or, is there progression?
So that's the update. Taking a break from chemo. Needing to get strong again. Wanting the scans to show incredibly wonderful results. I need prayers for all of the above. Side effects to go away...nausea, loss of appetite, fatigue. Healing to continue even during this rest. Overall, encouragement of heart. That's the prayer list this time. Thanks so much for ALL of your prayers. I'm grateful.
Dear Father God,
Thank You for being with us yesterday and even for giving wisdom to my doctor. So many people pray for our family and for the medical people that attend to me, that I truly believe that she is being led by You, O God. Thank You also for the great test results...I am so thankful! I have to trust that You are leading us through this medical maze. I don't want to believe that it's just random, but that You love us and that You are showing us what to do. Please, Father, restore my strength...both physically and in my heart. I am trusting You...with every hour of every day. I love You, always. Your daughter, Lisa
