Tuesday was my liver "procedure". That's what it's called, but from my point of view...it was surgery. They called me in for the pre-op stuff, eventually rolled me into the O.R., and the last thing I remember was "Mrs. Carr, we are going to give you a little something for anxiety". I said "Okay" and I was gone. :-) They did not cut into me but went in with two needles for the two spots on my liver. The needles are fancy dancey tools that have tricks up their sleeve. The main trick...to zap the cancer. And they did. The doctor told Tom it went very well. I spent the night there and then went home on Wednesday around noon.
Since then...I've been recovering. I guess I thought I'd have a couple of slow days and then rebound, but I haven't. And Friday and today, I've felt a little worse. I've had low grade fever. I've had achey, flu like symptoms all day as well. Not feeling so great. Talked to my doctor tonight and she told me what pain meds to take for now.
Not going to make this long. Please pray for my emotions and mind to be renewed with hope. Please pray for my spirit to be refreshed with the Spirit of God...who pours out exactly what I need. And please pray for my body...to not have infection or fever, to not be in pain and to....be healed. Head to toe.
God,
You know what today looked like. Please, let tomorrow be better. Restore, renew, refresh my heart of hearts. I love You.
No matter what tomorrow looks like, I will love You.
Always,
Lisa
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Our Sustainer
Last week I finally received the "new plan". We've done this before...started new plans and then found that it didn't really work. But I would rather have another "new plan" than no plans available...so, here we go again.
Tom and I thought and prayed about the liver ablation procedure and decided that we wanted to do that, if I was a candidate. Well, the radiologists read all the scans and decided that I was indeed a candidate. They set the date for this procedure to be done on Tuesday, September 25th. They are going to use a "nano knife" on one of the cancer spots on my liver because the spot is near a large vein. This type of procedure doesn't damage the vein at all. The other cancerous spot will be removed with radio frequency (called an RFA). All of it is beyond my understanding, but I'm just grateful that the spots can be removed! I will go in early Tuesday morning and they said the procedure will begin at about 7:30 am and take approximately 3 hours. It is not really surgery. They use needles to touch the cancer. I will have general anesthesia. The nurse said the hardest part is getting the needles placed. Then they use heat to "zap" the spots. (I will have general anesthesia.) She also said that Baptist Hospital was the first in the nation and the world to use the nano knife and that they've done hundreds and hundreds of these with great success. That sounded comforting.
After we got the date for this procedure set up, my oncologist's nurse called and said I would do chemo the following Monday after the hospital procedure. I will begin a new chemo (by new I mean one that I haven't used before) called Carboplatin. We are already praying for this one to work.
In the meantime, God has been restoring my body with strength and my heart with hope, and I know that is from all the loving prayers. The last couple of weeks have been incredible. God has sent encouragement in many, many different forms! Dear family members and friends have come to visit me. That is such a great boost to my heart. I've received notes, phone calls, a worship CD, emails, cards and more. Last week I received two painted pictures from 2 young friends under 10 years old that had scriptures and truth written on them. They're beautiful. (They are sitting propped up near our kitchen table.) Three different groups of friends came last week specifically to pray with me. Food continues to arrive with love. I've had so much encouragement...it's been amazing. I call it Manna...like the heavenly bread that rained down on the Israelites. God has rained down encouragement to me everyday...and just enough for that day.
Last weekend was especially manna-filled. My dear friend Gloria from Colorado flew in Friday to visit. Some more dear friends Deb and Paul from Ohio flew in on that Saturday. And some more dear friends, Rosemary,Jessa and Jessa's 3 year old Jack, drove from Tennessee to come visit that afternoon. Wow! It was so wonderful! The Bible says "A cheerful heart is good medicine", and that's what it did for me...made my heart cheerful and full. THEN...last Saturday night was another Wow. Another sweet friend, Cindy, brought her girls and a couple of friends and played beautiful bluegrass music for us all !!! A private concert in my living room. SO sweet. The next day, on Sunday evening, the Lord blessed me with more than enough strength to play the keyboard for Prodigals again. We had about 200 people come to see it, which was so cool. Such a powerful weekend!
Day by day God sustains our hearts and day by day He takes care of my body. He is so good.
When my mind wanders down the road of thoughts that are difficult...the ones that whisper sad outcomes...I try to stop those thoughts. I pause and I remind myself of all the faithful ways He has taken care of me and our whole family. I remember (and many times others help me remember) that I am called to live this day, and that it is not good to look ahead too far. Is that foolish? No. It is what Jesus said to do...and it works. One day at a time...one moment at a time.
So...prayer requests?
They are the same...again. Please pray for no cancer. Complete healing. Pray that the spots wouldn't even BE there on Tuesday. They use CT scans to guide the needles to the liver lesions. Wouldn't it be cool if they are looking and looking and could not see any spots? Not impossible. Very possible with God. All cancer just....gone. And if they are still there... pray that the doctors would be guided by God, recovery would be easy and healing would come quickly. All of it is in God's hands.
Oh Holy God,
I praise Your wonderful Name and love You so much God! Thank You for sustaining me day by day. Thank You for Your encouragement and love that arrives daily through Your children. Thank You for restoring my hope. Thank You for today. I'm trusting You with tomorrow, God. Thank You.
With all of my love,
Lisa
Tom and I thought and prayed about the liver ablation procedure and decided that we wanted to do that, if I was a candidate. Well, the radiologists read all the scans and decided that I was indeed a candidate. They set the date for this procedure to be done on Tuesday, September 25th. They are going to use a "nano knife" on one of the cancer spots on my liver because the spot is near a large vein. This type of procedure doesn't damage the vein at all. The other cancerous spot will be removed with radio frequency (called an RFA). All of it is beyond my understanding, but I'm just grateful that the spots can be removed! I will go in early Tuesday morning and they said the procedure will begin at about 7:30 am and take approximately 3 hours. It is not really surgery. They use needles to touch the cancer. I will have general anesthesia. The nurse said the hardest part is getting the needles placed. Then they use heat to "zap" the spots. (I will have general anesthesia.) She also said that Baptist Hospital was the first in the nation and the world to use the nano knife and that they've done hundreds and hundreds of these with great success. That sounded comforting.
After we got the date for this procedure set up, my oncologist's nurse called and said I would do chemo the following Monday after the hospital procedure. I will begin a new chemo (by new I mean one that I haven't used before) called Carboplatin. We are already praying for this one to work.
In the meantime, God has been restoring my body with strength and my heart with hope, and I know that is from all the loving prayers. The last couple of weeks have been incredible. God has sent encouragement in many, many different forms! Dear family members and friends have come to visit me. That is such a great boost to my heart. I've received notes, phone calls, a worship CD, emails, cards and more. Last week I received two painted pictures from 2 young friends under 10 years old that had scriptures and truth written on them. They're beautiful. (They are sitting propped up near our kitchen table.) Three different groups of friends came last week specifically to pray with me. Food continues to arrive with love. I've had so much encouragement...it's been amazing. I call it Manna...like the heavenly bread that rained down on the Israelites. God has rained down encouragement to me everyday...and just enough for that day.
Last weekend was especially manna-filled. My dear friend Gloria from Colorado flew in Friday to visit. Some more dear friends Deb and Paul from Ohio flew in on that Saturday. And some more dear friends, Rosemary,Jessa and Jessa's 3 year old Jack, drove from Tennessee to come visit that afternoon. Wow! It was so wonderful! The Bible says "A cheerful heart is good medicine", and that's what it did for me...made my heart cheerful and full. THEN...last Saturday night was another Wow. Another sweet friend, Cindy, brought her girls and a couple of friends and played beautiful bluegrass music for us all !!! A private concert in my living room. SO sweet. The next day, on Sunday evening, the Lord blessed me with more than enough strength to play the keyboard for Prodigals again. We had about 200 people come to see it, which was so cool. Such a powerful weekend!
Day by day God sustains our hearts and day by day He takes care of my body. He is so good.
When my mind wanders down the road of thoughts that are difficult...the ones that whisper sad outcomes...I try to stop those thoughts. I pause and I remind myself of all the faithful ways He has taken care of me and our whole family. I remember (and many times others help me remember) that I am called to live this day, and that it is not good to look ahead too far. Is that foolish? No. It is what Jesus said to do...and it works. One day at a time...one moment at a time.
So...prayer requests?
They are the same...again. Please pray for no cancer. Complete healing. Pray that the spots wouldn't even BE there on Tuesday. They use CT scans to guide the needles to the liver lesions. Wouldn't it be cool if they are looking and looking and could not see any spots? Not impossible. Very possible with God. All cancer just....gone. And if they are still there... pray that the doctors would be guided by God, recovery would be easy and healing would come quickly. All of it is in God's hands.
Oh Holy God,
I praise Your wonderful Name and love You so much God! Thank You for sustaining me day by day. Thank You for Your encouragement and love that arrives daily through Your children. Thank You for restoring my hope. Thank You for today. I'm trusting You with tomorrow, God. Thank You.
With all of my love,
Lisa
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Nothing is Impossible
It's been hard to sit and write this blog...and I guess that's why I've taken so long to do it. We received the results from my scans last week and they were not what we wanted to hear. There was more progression of the cancer in my body.
The CT of the brain did not show any lesions/tumors. That was good. But the bone scan and the CT of my chest and abdomen areas were not good. My doctor said I had a mixed response. Yes, some of the tumors on my vertebrae had actually shrunk. But there were other old spots that grew bigger and there were new spots we had not seen before. The worst news we received was that there were 2 spots on my liver, each one is 1 cm. Not good. Overall assessment...progression...again.
SO....the big question...what next? Our oncologist said we have lots of options that we have not tried yet, chemo treatments that I have not used that were considered good options. She suggested an oral drug called Xeloda that is actually taken at home. It has very difficult side effects, but she said not everyone has them. Another option is a different I.V. chemo called Carboplatin that is used for metastasized breast cancer. We also talked about a medical procedure where they go in with radio frequency and zap (with heat) the lesions on the liver. That sounded good...to get rid of the spots. Right now, our doctor's plan is to do the liver procedure very soon...possibly this week and then, as soon as I can, start the chemo.
BUT...Tom and I have been talking and praying about exactly what to do, trying to make wise decisions in the middle of this new information. So many people have said "go to MD Anderson" or go here or there...BIG cancer centers. The truth is there are still standard procedures that have been used for years that we have not tried yet. We decided to get counsel from some medical people. We called a friend in Texas who is an oncologist. He gave us great counsel and things to consider. We also decided to try and get hold of the doctor we talked to in February that is at Vanderbilt University Cancer Center. (See blog 2-6-12 called New Plan). He is a world renowned breast cancer doctor and researcher. I was surprised when he actually called me Friday evening and we talked for about 20 minutes. (That is unheard of for most doctors to call the patient at home!) He thought both drugs that my doctor suggested were great options and he suggested a third option. He told me again that there were no clinical trials for my particular situation at this time. He was complimentary of my oncologist's care and decisions. It was so encouraging to speak with him. He is a researcher and oncologist, really on top of current information. I was shocked that I had made contact so quickly, but very grateful. It was definitely a blessed call.
So...we will talk to our doctor again on Monday with a couple of questions and then begin some new plan as quickly as possible. That is the medical scoop.
Physically, I'm doing a little better about food/appetite since I've been off the chemo. I still need prayers for that. My hair has thinned out quite a bit, but is not gone. I have been wearing baseball caps here and there but haven't started wearing the wig. My pain is about the same and continues to be managed by the pills I take twice a day. My strength is better than 3 weeks ago, but I still feel tired overall.
Then there's the whole other part...heart, soul and mind. We heard the results on Tuesday over the phone, then saw the doctor on Wednesday. Tuesday was emotionally VERY hard. We were sad, so disappointed that it had not worked. It was especially hard to hear that now the cancer was on the liver. I know that is not a good thing. We wiped away tears and talked and processed it all day. But when we saw the doctor on Wednesday, we felt a little better. She said "we still have options". That was huge. Options. Yay!
Our family and friends have quickly reminded us that God still "has options". Nothing...NOTHING is impossible with God. Many of the miracle stories in the Bible show God intervening in the last moment. Abraham sacrificing his only son, the promised heir, on an altar...and God sent an angel at the last possible moment and stopped it. The woman who had the issue of blood had spent all she had on the doctors and nothing had worked. She was desperate and had run out of options. Except for Jesus. The Perfect Option. We have decided to continue with medical options, Western medicine. But we KNOW that, ultimately, it is God Who is the Healer. We will continue to ask Him to swoop in and rescue me.
I feel like the woman that touched the hem of the garment. Not in the sense that we've spent everything we have or that she had no other options medically. We are blessed to still have options that are considered great and wonderful. But I feel like her in the sense that I must rely on Jesus Christ. I am pushing through the crowd, reaching out to just touch that hem one more time. He has healed me before...twice. I give God all the glory for those healings. But here I am ....reaching out again for that hem. I know God is more than able to heal me. My job is to keep looking to Him for daily life and strength. He is in charge of my life...yes, and my death.
There is a wood decoration in our kitchen that says "Give Thanks in Everything". That is what it says in Philippians 4. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Wow. Don't worry about anything? That's what Jesus said too in Matthew 6. "Don't be anxious about tomorrow. Tomorrow's anxious for itself. Today's own troubles are enough for today."
So...that's where I am, I'm trying to live one day at a time...trusting God with my life...hanging on to hope in Christ Jesus...and walking in His strength, not mine. I pray constantly for my family, that God will give them comfort and strength to face this with me. And He has. He has held us all up hour by hour, minute by minute.
The battle is still on. I haven't given up, even though I'm tired of this. I want to keep fighting for life. I want to keep my eyes on Jesus. He is good and full of love for us all. When we have struggles and suffering that we are facing...God will not abandon us. Actually, He feels closer when it is hard. He is so real and faithful and good.
Oh God,
Thank You for being with our family this past week. This is hard. We don't understand. But we love You and we trust You with everything in our lives. Please give us faith, to believe in what we cannot see, and give us hope and courage to believe in what looks impossible. I know ALL things are possible with You. That is where our hearts land, believing in Your decisions and trusting You wholeheartedly.
In the Name that is full of love and power, Jesus,
Amen.
The CT of the brain did not show any lesions/tumors. That was good. But the bone scan and the CT of my chest and abdomen areas were not good. My doctor said I had a mixed response. Yes, some of the tumors on my vertebrae had actually shrunk. But there were other old spots that grew bigger and there were new spots we had not seen before. The worst news we received was that there were 2 spots on my liver, each one is 1 cm. Not good. Overall assessment...progression...again.
SO....the big question...what next? Our oncologist said we have lots of options that we have not tried yet, chemo treatments that I have not used that were considered good options. She suggested an oral drug called Xeloda that is actually taken at home. It has very difficult side effects, but she said not everyone has them. Another option is a different I.V. chemo called Carboplatin that is used for metastasized breast cancer. We also talked about a medical procedure where they go in with radio frequency and zap (with heat) the lesions on the liver. That sounded good...to get rid of the spots. Right now, our doctor's plan is to do the liver procedure very soon...possibly this week and then, as soon as I can, start the chemo.
BUT...Tom and I have been talking and praying about exactly what to do, trying to make wise decisions in the middle of this new information. So many people have said "go to MD Anderson" or go here or there...BIG cancer centers. The truth is there are still standard procedures that have been used for years that we have not tried yet. We decided to get counsel from some medical people. We called a friend in Texas who is an oncologist. He gave us great counsel and things to consider. We also decided to try and get hold of the doctor we talked to in February that is at Vanderbilt University Cancer Center. (See blog 2-6-12 called New Plan). He is a world renowned breast cancer doctor and researcher. I was surprised when he actually called me Friday evening and we talked for about 20 minutes. (That is unheard of for most doctors to call the patient at home!) He thought both drugs that my doctor suggested were great options and he suggested a third option. He told me again that there were no clinical trials for my particular situation at this time. He was complimentary of my oncologist's care and decisions. It was so encouraging to speak with him. He is a researcher and oncologist, really on top of current information. I was shocked that I had made contact so quickly, but very grateful. It was definitely a blessed call.
So...we will talk to our doctor again on Monday with a couple of questions and then begin some new plan as quickly as possible. That is the medical scoop.
Physically, I'm doing a little better about food/appetite since I've been off the chemo. I still need prayers for that. My hair has thinned out quite a bit, but is not gone. I have been wearing baseball caps here and there but haven't started wearing the wig. My pain is about the same and continues to be managed by the pills I take twice a day. My strength is better than 3 weeks ago, but I still feel tired overall.
Then there's the whole other part...heart, soul and mind. We heard the results on Tuesday over the phone, then saw the doctor on Wednesday. Tuesday was emotionally VERY hard. We were sad, so disappointed that it had not worked. It was especially hard to hear that now the cancer was on the liver. I know that is not a good thing. We wiped away tears and talked and processed it all day. But when we saw the doctor on Wednesday, we felt a little better. She said "we still have options". That was huge. Options. Yay!
Our family and friends have quickly reminded us that God still "has options". Nothing...NOTHING is impossible with God. Many of the miracle stories in the Bible show God intervening in the last moment. Abraham sacrificing his only son, the promised heir, on an altar...and God sent an angel at the last possible moment and stopped it. The woman who had the issue of blood had spent all she had on the doctors and nothing had worked. She was desperate and had run out of options. Except for Jesus. The Perfect Option. We have decided to continue with medical options, Western medicine. But we KNOW that, ultimately, it is God Who is the Healer. We will continue to ask Him to swoop in and rescue me.
I feel like the woman that touched the hem of the garment. Not in the sense that we've spent everything we have or that she had no other options medically. We are blessed to still have options that are considered great and wonderful. But I feel like her in the sense that I must rely on Jesus Christ. I am pushing through the crowd, reaching out to just touch that hem one more time. He has healed me before...twice. I give God all the glory for those healings. But here I am ....reaching out again for that hem. I know God is more than able to heal me. My job is to keep looking to Him for daily life and strength. He is in charge of my life...yes, and my death.
There is a wood decoration in our kitchen that says "Give Thanks in Everything". That is what it says in Philippians 4. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Wow. Don't worry about anything? That's what Jesus said too in Matthew 6. "Don't be anxious about tomorrow. Tomorrow's anxious for itself. Today's own troubles are enough for today."
So...that's where I am, I'm trying to live one day at a time...trusting God with my life...hanging on to hope in Christ Jesus...and walking in His strength, not mine. I pray constantly for my family, that God will give them comfort and strength to face this with me. And He has. He has held us all up hour by hour, minute by minute.
The battle is still on. I haven't given up, even though I'm tired of this. I want to keep fighting for life. I want to keep my eyes on Jesus. He is good and full of love for us all. When we have struggles and suffering that we are facing...God will not abandon us. Actually, He feels closer when it is hard. He is so real and faithful and good.
Oh God,
Thank You for being with our family this past week. This is hard. We don't understand. But we love You and we trust You with everything in our lives. Please give us faith, to believe in what we cannot see, and give us hope and courage to believe in what looks impossible. I know ALL things are possible with You. That is where our hearts land, believing in Your decisions and trusting You wholeheartedly.
In the Name that is full of love and power, Jesus,
Amen.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Waiting again
Thursday I went to Little Rock and did my scans. First they did the CT scans and then the full bone scan. Nothing really happened out the ordinary for the scans. My friend and I were able to get back to Searcy before the heavy rains started coming into town.
I thought I might hear about the results Friday but they did not call me. I talked to Tom and we decided not to call but to just wait till Tuesday.
SO...I'm in waiting mode. Should hear something Tuesday. My doctor appointment is Wednesday. The peace that passes all understanding is in my heart. The Lord is in charge. To be continued.
I thought I might hear about the results Friday but they did not call me. I talked to Tom and we decided not to call but to just wait till Tuesday.
SO...I'm in waiting mode. Should hear something Tuesday. My doctor appointment is Wednesday. The peace that passes all understanding is in my heart. The Lord is in charge. To be continued.
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