Monday, April 25, 2011

Sunday Night Syndrome

Today is treatment day.

Easter has always been my favorite holiday of the year. I am so grateful for the gift of grace, mercy and forgiveness that came because of Jesus's death and resurrection. What a great gift to celebrate!

In the midst of a really special, spiritual week, I've had a difficult time. Physically, I have had more side effects this past month than in previous months. The fatigue level has increased, general achey-ness in my body, and my throat has been sore on and off. It is not as bad as the chemo days, but I just haven't felt that great. When I don't feel as well physically, I get discouraged in my mind and my heart. I don't want to get down, and I try to fight it, but it happens. Saturday night I had asked our elder, (who is also a dear friend), David, to pray with me. He and his wife did pray over me, with love and tenderness. I physically felt better the next morning... Easter Sunday.

But, as the day went on, the discouragement crept up in my heart to the point that I was just flat out sad. Tears kept welling up over everything. It finally dawned on me...it wasn't just the aches and pains I was facing. It was Sunday night...the night before treatment. I was dreading Monday.

Five years ago when this battle started and I began chemo treatments, my treatment days were almost always on Mondays. It took me a few times to realize that Sunday night was an issue. The emotions would peak out...fear, sadness, sometimes anger. My prayers would intensify. "Oh God...help me!" Well...last night I was there again. Sunday night. Lots of tears, feeling fatigue at facing the whole battle. Just tired of it. "God...come, please, come."

And He did.

Two young women, college student friends of mine, prayed with me last night. We were at a meeting for something else (a club ring ceremony on campus) but when they spoke to me I told them, direct and to the point, that I needed prayer. I have lost any guardedness or pride about asking for prayer. I knew I needed someone else to pray over me. So I asked these two young women and they said "yes!".

We found a quiet place, the prayer chapel on campus, and they prayed over me. They prayed with tears and they prayed with confidence. Boldness and tenderness were in their words. They prayed for the Lord to come and lift my heart up from the heaviness I felt and to fill me with His strength again. They prayed for the treatment appointment. They prayed for my husband and each one of our children by name. They were mighty intercessors...asking God to come.

And He did.

He came.

The Comforter came and poured out His love and healing over me. My heart and my mind were renewed in that very room. In one hour of prayer my heart went from being overwhelmed with sorrow to feeling strong with hope...one...more...time.

THAT is the work of the Holy Spirit. The Comforter.

He is just one of the gifts we were given because of Jesus' resurrection. Jesus said He had to go so that the Comforter, the Holy Spirit, would come and be with us...even be IN us. Because He died and rose again, we have the Spirit of God living in us everyday. THAT is huge.

Then I will ask the Father to send you the Holy Spirit who will help you and always be with you. The Spirit will show you what is true. The people of this world cannot accept the Spirit, because they don't see or know him. But you know the Spirit, who is with you and will keep on living in you. But I tell you that I am going to do what is best for you. That is why I am going away. The Holy Spirit cannot come to help you until I leave. But after I am gone, I will send the Spirit to you.

John 14:16,17 and John 16:7


When Jesus came to save us, He didn't just come 2,000 years ago and that was it. He still comes to us NOW...today...this day. He comes in real time, real life. Now it's His Spirit, the Holy Spirit, here moving among us in the real stuff of life here on earth. Wow. It's amazing.


O God,
Thank You...for coming to this earth 2,000 years ago, for living and moving and healing and loving... and then dying for us. Thank You for Your great love, love that went to the cross for the whole world. And I thank You for the resurrection, which brought all the promises fulfilled in one moment of history...when You walked out of the tomb. Thank You for sending Your Spirit, just like You promised...to comfort and teach us, to live inside of us. Your Presence actually living in us!Wow... it's amazing. Thank You for last night...these two friends and their prayers, Your Comfort pouring into me...thank You. I was rescued once again, pulled out of the water when I was sinking, like Peter. I'm looking at You again. This morning I feel Your hope and strength in my heart. Go with me, before me, inside of me, O God, as I go for treatment today. I trust You. I love You.
In the glorious Name of the Resurrected One, Jesus!
Amen.