Saturday, June 30, 2012

Prodigals

In the middle of this medical journey that I am walking through, God truly has given me a joyful surprise along the way!

On July 12-15, the local community theater in Searcy, Arkansas, Center on the Square, is going to present a program of songs that I wrote called "Prodigals".  I am SO excited and honored that it's going to be done!  There are 12 songs all together and they tell the wonderful story that Jesus told 2,000 years ago about the prodigal son.  The songs are being performed by local singers and the music performed live.  This is a dessert theatre.  Coffee and a variety of desserts will be served and are included in the ticket price.

The other exciting part is that the production will be a benefit for IHCF African Christian Hospitals ministry, which is the ministry where Tom works.  Specifically, the money will go straight to a new Cancer Treatment program that began in Nigeria this past year.  It was started by two surgeons from America and two Nigerian doctors at Nigerian Christian Hospital.  They've also written a book that is being used throughout Africa called "Where There is No Oncologist".

This whole battle I've been fighting is not a journey that most Africans with cancer ever have to deal with. Not because there is no cancer in Africa, but because, for the most part, there is no treatment available.  It is rarely an option.  I have had treatment available since the very first day I found out I had cancer...and promptly began all that was available.   I am SO blessed to live in a country that has medicine to fight back. Nigerian Christian Hospital, in West Africa, has begun an oncology program that is wanting to "fight back" cancer in their region.  I am so excited that this show, "Prodigals", will benefit this new cancer program.

I wrote the "Prodigals" songs about 20 years ago and have always hoped that someday they could be performed at a wonderful theater like this. Can't believe that it's actually happening! :-)  ....and that it will bless my husband's work of helping the sick in Africa in the name Jesus.  YAY!  SO thankful!

If you are in our area, I hope you will come and see it!  I think you'll be blessed.  And if you are not close by, I would love for you to pray that the shows will be successful.

Showtimes are June 12-14  at 7 pm  and June 15 at 1:30.  You can call Center on the Square for reservations and information at 501-368-0111. Tickets are $15 and may be purchased in advance or at the door.  Please come if you can!


If you want to participate with helping African Christian Hospitals, their addresss is
102 N. Locust, Searcy, AR 72143.

Here is a link to the theater for more information...

Dessert Theater: Prodigals at Center on the Square

Thanks so much!!!

P.S.  Monday I go for treatment again...thank you for your continued prayers.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Grateful Heart

It's Wednesday...and I'm actually doing pretty well.  Yay!  Praise God!

Monday we saw the doctor.  She said the new chemo is usually given in one dosage every three weeks, but she decided to divide it into three dosages so that it doesn't hit me as hard.  That's why I'm going once a week, for three weeks and then I get one week off.   (I really don't get that week off because I get other drugs that are on a different schedule, so I'm basically going every Monday.)  About my scans next week, she said that she didn't feel like we needed the scans because we can see from my lab and from just seeing me physically get around better, that the last treatments were working.  But since we are starting a new chemo, she said we could wait till I'm on it for awhile, probably 3 months, and then get the scans done.  She said we could get the scans if I just wanted to see, but it was up to me.  Tom and I both said "no...that's okay, we don't have to see the scans".  They have a lot of radiation, so if I can avoid them, that's great.

My lab results were good again!  Calcium was 9.3 (10 is normal) and the tumor markers both had gone down some more (yay)...one in the normal range, one close. All indications seem to be that it is working.  My doctor believes it is the Avastin in particular that is working well to stop the growth.  I'm grateful for her optimism and confidence.  My prayer is just that the new chemo will continue the good momentum.

Thanks SO much for your prayers!  It's amazing that I haven't been real sick on this Day 3.  That is so wonderful! SO thankful to God!  I'm also feeling more peace about the drug change.  Instead of being frustrated with the insurance issue, I'm remembering that God is in control of all of this and believing that this is what He wanted next.  I want to trust Him always.

Thank You, God, for being with me on Monday!  Thank You for the great results and for helping me to transition to this new drug.  Father, I'm believing that You have orchestrated all of these details.  You are so good and so full of love for us all.  Thank You for giving me strength and peace for this day. I give You all the praise! 
In Jesus Name.
Amen.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

New Chemo Monday

This past week I got a call from my doctor's nurse.  We have something going on right now with our insurance company (they are denying payment on one of my treatment drugs...but we are appealing).  Because of the rules with the FDA and the insurance companies, I have to change one of the chemo drugs that I have been getting the past few months. 

I've been getting Avastin and Gemzar every 2 weeks and Zometa once a month.  This Monday I will begin getting Taxol instead of Gemzar, plus Avastin every 2 weeks and Zometa still once a month.  The new chemo, Taxol, has different side effects than Gemzar...and one of them is that I will lose my hair. Again.

When I was first diagnosed in 2006 I was put on chemo treatments that made my hair fall out.  I have been down this road...so I guess I do have some experience to lean on.  But I'm not sure that it makes it all that much easier.  One part of me thinks "it's just hair, no big deal" and then there's the other part that remembers the emotional part of being a woman without hair.  Ultimately, I have to tell myself that it really is just hair and that it doesn't matter.  If the medicine will do what we want it to do (kill the cancer), then losing my hair is fine.

That's what I am telling myself.  I have to. I don't want to dwell on the sad part, I want to move on to the battle.  I trust that God is in control of my life, that He cares about every detail of my life and that, as Scripture says, " Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid;" (Luke 12:7a)  If He knows that number...then He knows when there are none.  And look at the words following that sentence. "Don't be afraid."  The continual theme of the past 5 years.  "Lisa, do not be afraid. Trust Me. I am the God who sees and who loves you."  Over and over I have heard God tell me to trust Him.

And I do.  With not only the number of hairs on my head, but the number of days in my life.

My job is to follow and love God on this life journey, even when I can't see too far ahead. That's what faith is all about. Believing before you see anything with your eyes.  I believe God is real, that He loves me, that He is with me in ALL circumstances that life brings my way. He's promised to never leave me. I believe Him and I trust and love Him.

O God,
I do love You.  I don't really want to lose my hair again but I know it'll be okay. It's not the main issue.  I ask You to give my body strength to endure these once a week treatments. Please cancel the side effects and just pour Your strength into my body.  This is a long distance marathon, Lord.  I cannot keep running without You, O God. Give me strength and courage and determination in my body, my heart and my mind.  Thank You for sustaining me day after day. Thank You for all the ways You have blessed me over the past five years and taken care of every need. I praise You now and always for being the God who cares so much. I love you, Lord, today and forever.
Your daughter,
Lisa




Sunday, June 17, 2012

Good Appointment, Good Week

Monday's appointment with the doctor went really well.  Thanks so much for your prayers!

We talked to my doctor about my lab results, which some of them were back immediately but some of them I got back on Tuesday.  My calcium is still normal (yay God!)...it was 9.7 (10 is the normal line).  The 2 tumor marker tests were also good.  One had dropped down into the normal range for the first time (hooray again!) and the other one moved up a couple of points but they felt fine about that and considered it stable.  These all indicate that the chemo is working...which is wonderful.  We don't know for sure but these results look good.  The other big news was she gave me a date for scans.  I will have CT scans on July 6th...which means I will have one more treatment on June 25th and then I will have scans.  The scans are on a Friday and I will see my oncologist on that following Monday.

I'm very ready to find out what is going on inside...but, as with all scans, I'm apprehensive about what they will actually show.  There's no "prep" course for this test.  I just go in...and do it.  It is definitely all about trusting God and just seeing what He has been doing all along.  Of course, I continue to pray for healing, day by day, hour by hour.  Please just pray even now for the scans to show healing.  God is holding me up everyday.

Also, prayers were answered this past week about the post-treatment yukky-nausea-pain days.  I had the treatment Monday....and I have NOT had any "rough" days at all.  :-)  THAT is truly amazing!  I am very grateful for the prayers and grateful to God for this gift.  It's been more like the second week, just fine.  I'm eating pretty well and sleeping well. I've also been able to cut down on some of my pain medicine on some days, which is also an answer to prayer!  SO grateful to God.

Thank you all for your continued, faithful prayers.  They are felt.  I'm not kidding.  I have a peace that "passes understanding" that can only be attributed to God and the prayers of so many people.


God,
Thank You for this past week and for Your loving hand that has not let go of me once.  When I cry out to You, You make my heart settle down and fill me up with hope again.  When I have questions, You lead me to answers. When I feel fear, You send people to remind me to "not be afraid" and encourage me again.  You are faithful and good, over and over.  I praise Your Name, O God.  I love You, Lord....and I will continue to trust You with each new day.  Where else would I go, but to You?  You alone are the One true God...full of love and goodness.
Your daughter,
Lisa

Psalm 86:10,12  For You are great and do marvelous deeds; You alone are God.  I will praise You, O Lord my God, with all my heart;  I will glorify Your Name forever.

Monday, June 11, 2012

A Birthday, Wedding and Picnic

About two weeks ago was Memorial Day Weekend and there was a lot going on at our house! The Wednesday before that weekend I celebrated my 55th birthday.  Hooray!!!  That day some dear girlfriends took me out to lunch and we had a lovely time together.  Then that night Tom and I, plus Mary and a friend, all went to Little Rock for a one night getaway.  We had dinner at a nice place called YaYa's and then did some shopping. (Yes, Tom is a WONDERFUL husband to take three girls out to shop!)  We spent the night in LR,  then came back the next day.  I also had lots of cards and a fun package in the mail from my sisters, another package from my parents, plus a few long distance calls that were all special.  Great birthday!

Then the weekend rolled around.  It was time to celebrate a wedding!  Our sweet friend, Kari,  who had been living with us for a few months, was getting married that Saturday night.  We've had the joy of watching the wedding plans unfold day by day.  Then, finally, the day came! Our two older children came to town for the wedding, so that was SO wonderful having them around for the weekend. Plus, lots of Kari's friends are our friends as well, and lots of them had traveled a long way to be a part of the wedding. It felt sort of like a reunion.  We were very happy to get to see so many precious friends. The wedding was a beautiful occasion...very joy-filled and God centered.  Great wedding!

The day before the wedding we attended a Memorial Day picnic at the senior facility that my mother-in-law lives at here in Searcy.  She has been so weak over the past few weeks (since her fall in March) that we were not sure that she would be able to get outside for this traditional family time at Harding Place.  But she did make it, and our whole family was there to celebrate with her.  Great picnic!

Finally, all the festivities were over and the day after Memorial Day, that Tuesday, I went in for my 4th treatment. Nothing eventful, just went straight to the chemo room and sat down.  The treatment went fine. A couple of days later I started feeling the nausea and some pain.  But by Friday afternoon, the yukky symptoms had lifted and I was able to go out that evening with some friends and actually have a nice supper in Little Rock. Yay God!  The following week was good...I felt stronger and better as each day passed.

And now...treatment time is back again.  It's Monday.  I had my "I don't want to go tomorrow" feelings last night.  It's the Sunday night syndrome.  But...in reality...I DO want to go because I am believing that the Lord is using this treatment to heal me.  I will see the doctor today and, hopefully, she will give me an idea of when we will do scans to "see" inside my body at the progress of the medicine.

Prayers for today?  That my visit with the doctor will be led by the Holy Spirit, every word and decision directed by God.  That the treatment will go well today.  That the post-treatment symptoms will not even come...nausea, pain and overall just feeling bad.  Most of all...that the medicines will do what we hope they are doing...to heal me of cancer.

My job?  To trust in God and walk with Him through the day, believing He has my life in His loving hands.  I do trust Him.  And I do believe His hands are loving and good.  I believe that He has allowed this to come to me, because "all things work for the good for those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose". (Romans 8:28)    I do love Him, with all my heart.  And so... I believe that whatever happens to me will be "for the good".

Oh God,
Thank You for this day...yes, even this day...when I know I have to sit down and get chemo in my veins and face this disease with a battle-mind, fighting with determination.  Thank You for this day...and every day that You give to me as a gift. I will rejoice in this day.  You have always been faithful to stay with me, to hold me up and give me strength minute by minute, hour by hour.  I cannot live without You, dear God.  Please bless each hour of this day, to Your glory.  And bless my family, always Lord, in the steps they are walking in today.  I love You.
Forever Yours,
Lisa