Yesterday Tom and I went to see my oncologist in Little Rock. We got back the results from the scans on Friday and they were not so good.
The scans showed progression. Some of the old cancerous spots had grown some, plus there were new spots...the pelvic bones, both left and right, and my femur bones, both left and right. Also, they examined the liver and they could see the 2 spots that were "zapped" in Sept. and they looked "zapped", no growth. But 10 new spots were found on the liver, and a couple were larger than the others. Overall...progression.
The new plan....(is this Plan C or D or T?)....is 1) get my calcium down. I will go today to get fluids to help that. Then 2) I will visit the radiologist here in Searcy at CARTI and she will assess what spots we might zap with radiation to relieve pain. Then 3) I will once again try a new chemo drug, starting on January 2, if all systems are go.
Yes...we are sad. This is not what we were hoping to hear. But we still are walking with hope that God is the Healer and can still rescue me. I know the reality of this and I am not dismissing it. What I'm doing is trying to see the facts but then turning my heart and eyes to Jesus and saying "so, what about these facts? What do you want me to do?" I know at least part of His answer is to "not worry about tomorrow" but to live one day at a time. Another response is to keep close to Him in my heart and mind. He will not leave me alone. Beyond that, I will seek His message for more.
Gotta go get fluids. THANK YOU for your amazing prayers! They were heard, I believe that. We cannot see what is happening in the unseen world of God. I'm trusting Him even when I can't see it or understand.
Oh God,
Take this heaviness and lift my heart. I do not want to waste today with sorrow, but to live and walk through today with Your strength. I will hang on tight to Your strong hand all day, like a child grabs the safety of their parents loving hand. I am Your child and You are my God. I praise You and love You even in this place. You are holy and tender and right here, surrounding my presence. I love You. Always.
Your daughter,
Lisa
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Scans on Friday
This Friday, December 14th, I have CT scans and a bone scan scheduled for around 10:30 am. The purpose is to look inside and (1)see how my liver is doing 3 months after the ablation and (2)to see the other bones and how the chemo has addressed the cancerous lesions on various bones, vertebrae and ribs.
"On the one hand" (as Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof said)....I want to know what things look like inside. I want to see how the liver is healing and to see the chemo's work. BUT, "on the other hand"...it may not be good news. My role is to stand before God and ask for His peace day by day and just wait till I hear the results. Not easy.
I would like to ask you all to pray along with our family tomorrow... Thursday, December 13th, throughout the day...maybe even fast if you feel called to do so. I went to our elders last week and asked for their prayers. They anointed me with oil and boldly prayed for healing with great love. I asked for prayer in our small group and they were so sweet to gather around me and pray for healing. I know there are many, many people praying and I am SO thankful! Thank you to all of you for your powerful love and prayers.
"All things are possible with God." I do believe that and continue to hope for the impossible. I confess that there are times when the tears break through and express the questions that I have deep in my heart. Did the chemo work? What if it progressed? What would be the next step? When will I hear? What is God's plan? What if I do "go home" early? What should I finish here? The questions slide into fear and loss of hope. I usually ask friends to come and pray for my mind to be filled with peace, and that I would keep my eyes focused on Jesus, talking to Him about all these things and then letting it go, giving it to Him. As I approach the scan day, my mind begins to think "I must let go, there is nothing I can do to control this...it belongs in God's hands."
It is Wednesday night. Tomorrow I'll pray and worship the Lord. Then Friday I'll walk in the strength of the prayers of family and friends. Then I'll lie down one more time and see what the Lord has done.
Oh God,
One more time...hear our prayers. Send Your Spirit to fill us with peace that passes understanding. This looks like a mountain, Father. Really high and wide and giant. Father, please, move this mountain. Not because I have such perfect faith. You said I just need a little mustard seed's size. I've got that much Father. Please, move this mountain. My hope is in You.
I love You.
Lisa
"On the one hand" (as Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof said)....I want to know what things look like inside. I want to see how the liver is healing and to see the chemo's work. BUT, "on the other hand"...it may not be good news. My role is to stand before God and ask for His peace day by day and just wait till I hear the results. Not easy.
I would like to ask you all to pray along with our family tomorrow... Thursday, December 13th, throughout the day...maybe even fast if you feel called to do so. I went to our elders last week and asked for their prayers. They anointed me with oil and boldly prayed for healing with great love. I asked for prayer in our small group and they were so sweet to gather around me and pray for healing. I know there are many, many people praying and I am SO thankful! Thank you to all of you for your powerful love and prayers.
"All things are possible with God." I do believe that and continue to hope for the impossible. I confess that there are times when the tears break through and express the questions that I have deep in my heart. Did the chemo work? What if it progressed? What would be the next step? When will I hear? What is God's plan? What if I do "go home" early? What should I finish here? The questions slide into fear and loss of hope. I usually ask friends to come and pray for my mind to be filled with peace, and that I would keep my eyes focused on Jesus, talking to Him about all these things and then letting it go, giving it to Him. As I approach the scan day, my mind begins to think "I must let go, there is nothing I can do to control this...it belongs in God's hands."
It is Wednesday night. Tomorrow I'll pray and worship the Lord. Then Friday I'll walk in the strength of the prayers of family and friends. Then I'll lie down one more time and see what the Lord has done.
Oh God,
One more time...hear our prayers. Send Your Spirit to fill us with peace that passes understanding. This looks like a mountain, Father. Really high and wide and giant. Father, please, move this mountain. Not because I have such perfect faith. You said I just need a little mustard seed's size. I've got that much Father. Please, move this mountain. My hope is in You.
I love You.
Lisa
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Thanksgiving and Round Three
November was a wonderful month. Truly a time to be thankful to God! Even though I was still on the chemo schedule, the highlight of November was that I got to go home... to see my parents, sisters and son in Nashville. Yay!!! Our son has been home to visit many times through the year, and one of my sisters, Diane, has been to AR twice...but my parents and my sister Judy couldn't travel and I had not been over to Tennessee since March. I think I mentioned it last time that in March I was in a wheelchair. That was the last time my parents and sister saw me. I was so glad to get out of the car and run to them. We hugged and cried and hugged some more.
It was SO good to go to Tennessee. I needed to see my family and they needed to see me. I didn't know how my strength would be traveling like that, but once again, God took care of me. I mostly stayed in, having quiet, hanging out time with my family. I had a few surprise visits from friends. They were wonderful and encouraging. I also got to see my niece, nephew and great niece. It was all truly good medicine. And then, during the three days around Thanksgiving, my husband's family gathered at a state park for a reunion. That was a sweet blessing as well! So thankful to God.
When I returned to Arkansas, that Monday was round three of Carboplatin. I went in about 11 and finally finished about 3:30. Once again, I had a dear, longtime friend come and sit with me for a good while and had such a nice catchup time with her!
The biggest thing that happened Monday was that my doctor set the dates for scans. I will be going for CT and bone scans on December 14th. That is a big day. Right now I am not looking ahead, but trying to keep my eyes on Jesus TODAY.
The other Carboplatin chemo treatments have had mild side effects that usually started on Wednesday or Thursday. But this time, I started feeling yucky, flu-like symptoms early, Tuesday afternoon. I hunkered down, took meds, slept, didn't eat much until the cloud lifted Thursday night and definitely Friday. Yay. I was surprised by the early attack, but just glad when it was over.
Thank you for the prayers you have prayed, not just for my trip to Tennessee, but for the whole year! I've been overwhelmed with faithful prayer warriors...praying for me but also for our whole family. It's been incredible! Thank you so much.
I'll write some more soon regarding the scans. In the meantime...I praise God for today and for His glorious love over our family hour by hour. He is good.
It was SO good to go to Tennessee. I needed to see my family and they needed to see me. I didn't know how my strength would be traveling like that, but once again, God took care of me. I mostly stayed in, having quiet, hanging out time with my family. I had a few surprise visits from friends. They were wonderful and encouraging. I also got to see my niece, nephew and great niece. It was all truly good medicine. And then, during the three days around Thanksgiving, my husband's family gathered at a state park for a reunion. That was a sweet blessing as well! So thankful to God.
When I returned to Arkansas, that Monday was round three of Carboplatin. I went in about 11 and finally finished about 3:30. Once again, I had a dear, longtime friend come and sit with me for a good while and had such a nice catchup time with her!
The biggest thing that happened Monday was that my doctor set the dates for scans. I will be going for CT and bone scans on December 14th. That is a big day. Right now I am not looking ahead, but trying to keep my eyes on Jesus TODAY.
The other Carboplatin chemo treatments have had mild side effects that usually started on Wednesday or Thursday. But this time, I started feeling yucky, flu-like symptoms early, Tuesday afternoon. I hunkered down, took meds, slept, didn't eat much until the cloud lifted Thursday night and definitely Friday. Yay. I was surprised by the early attack, but just glad when it was over.
Thank you for the prayers you have prayed, not just for my trip to Tennessee, but for the whole year! I've been overwhelmed with faithful prayer warriors...praying for me but also for our whole family. It's been incredible! Thank you so much.
I'll write some more soon regarding the scans. In the meantime...I praise God for today and for His glorious love over our family hour by hour. He is good.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Round Two
Monday I went in for the second treatment of Carboplatin chemo. Saw my doctor, then went in to the treatment room. By the time I got all the pre-meds, then Zometa (a bone strengthener) and the chemo, I sat there 3 hours. The long stretch was broken up by a dear friend who came to visit me while I was sitting there. She stayed about an hour and it was such a blessing to catch up, talking and laughing together.
This past week my response to the chemo was very mild...again. Wednesday night and Thursday I felt some mild side effects...fatigue and nausea. But really the week was overall very mild and tolerable. I'm so thankful for the Lord's care and covering over the week. Thankful for answered prayers again.
My prayer requests are for the following...for the chemo to work and for the cancer to die; for food to be pleasant to me to eat so I can maintain or even gain weight; for my blood lab tests to show improvement; for strength for each day; for hope to not fade; and most of all...for all of my family to be completely covered by God for all of their needs.
One more prayer request...I'm looking forward to seeing my son, my parents and two of my sisters next weekend! The last time my parents saw me was about the first week of March...and I couldn't walk. After that I had radiation and then the surgery that put "cement" in my L-5 vertebrae...and I could walk again. I have longed to see them all for months now...and the Lord has made it possible. Please pray for my body to be strong and stable enough to travel. It will be by God's strength that I will be able to do it...that much I know.
"You are my strength when I am weak, you are the treasure that I seek,
You are my all in all.
When I fall down, you pick me up, when I am dry, you fill my cup
You are my all in all.
Jesus, Lamb of God, worthy is Your Name!
Jesus, Lamb of God, worthy is Your Name!"
This past week my response to the chemo was very mild...again. Wednesday night and Thursday I felt some mild side effects...fatigue and nausea. But really the week was overall very mild and tolerable. I'm so thankful for the Lord's care and covering over the week. Thankful for answered prayers again.
My prayer requests are for the following...for the chemo to work and for the cancer to die; for food to be pleasant to me to eat so I can maintain or even gain weight; for my blood lab tests to show improvement; for strength for each day; for hope to not fade; and most of all...for all of my family to be completely covered by God for all of their needs.
One more prayer request...I'm looking forward to seeing my son, my parents and two of my sisters next weekend! The last time my parents saw me was about the first week of March...and I couldn't walk. After that I had radiation and then the surgery that put "cement" in my L-5 vertebrae...and I could walk again. I have longed to see them all for months now...and the Lord has made it possible. Please pray for my body to be strong and stable enough to travel. It will be by God's strength that I will be able to do it...that much I know.
"You are my strength when I am weak, you are the treasure that I seek,
You are my all in all.
When I fall down, you pick me up, when I am dry, you fill my cup
You are my all in all.
Jesus, Lamb of God, worthy is Your Name!
Jesus, Lamb of God, worthy is Your Name!"
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Three Good Weeks
Let me try to catch you up on the past three weeks.
My appointment went well on Monday, October 15th . Saw my doctor first and after examining me, she decided that I could start chemo. We also talked about working on gaining weight (you all can pray about that) and some of the possible side effects of the new chemo. She said that this chemo is usually tolerated well. It was so good to hear that.
She was right! Praise God...my body's response to the chemo was very good! The first week I was bracing myself about Wednesday and Thursday for crashing with fatigue, nausea, etc., but it never really happened. I did take a precautionary nausea med for two or three days (Zofran), but by Friday I felt pretty good until later that night. We went out with some friends to eat catfish in town. I really only had one piece and about 4 or 5 fries and some other sides. Later on, about 10 pm, I got very, very sick. Nauseous. To make that long story short...the lesson learned was...fried foods need to be avoided big time. :-)
The next day and all the next week went well. One day during that week, I told my husband Tom that I felt the most normal that I had felt for a long time. I still guarded my stamina, but I was getting out and doing a bit more. Just really felt good.
Then I started the third week. Same as week two...very good. My dear friend Carol came to visit me from Abilene, TX and I had enough energy to get out and get around with her. I was so grateful for her visit. One night though I did have another weird "crash" night. I got a bad headache, had a fever of 103+ and had nausea...all from, I believe, being in a store with very strong scents. By the morning, the fever had broken and all was calm again. Lesson learned...strong scents need to be avoided big time. (I continue to learn.)
So that brings this blog up to date. Three very good weeks! I have been thanking God over and over for letting me feel good. I don't know if the new chemo is working on the inside, but I do know that prayers have been answered for me to have very minimal side effects. It's really been incredible! Thank you so much for your prayers!
Lots of other things happened in those 3 weeks. The hardest event was when a sweet friend of mine, a cancer survivor for 5 years, passed away. She was such an amazing fighter...a single mom with four great children, trying to juggle her battle, her family and work. I will miss her and so will many others.
The very next day, October 18th, was the sixth anniversary of when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer. Six years. Wow. Yes, I am still very much in the fight, but I am SO grateful to God for every single day of those six years. Every single day is another gift of grace from Him. As many days as I am given, I want to continue to praise Him and say "Thank You, O God. You are SO good and faithful."
The weekend of October 19-21 my special longtime friend Kimberly participated in the Komen 3 Day Walk in the city of Atlanta. She walked in my honor and for another friend of hers. Such an awesome honor! This was her second year to do the walk. She's worked so hard training and raising the money to help fight this battle. (Thanks so much Kim!) I'm so grateful for her gift and for our friendship.
One other special thing that happened in the past 3 weeks is that I was given a special honor from the women's club that I help sponsor at Harding University. On Homecoming weekend our club traditionally has an Alumni Brunch for the new members to greet the old members and the old members to reconnect. This year they had a special time to honor me. I was totally surprised! The girls spoke sweet words of love and encouragement to me. Both new and old members gave me some lovely and meaningful gifts...just incredible. Then we all closed with a prayer. It was so sweet. The tears poured down my cheeks and the kleenex in my purse were all used up. :-) Really, once again, I felt like God was pouring down His loving manna into my heart. It was a special, special day.
SO...that's it. The 3 week cycle starts again Monday, November 5th. The main prayer is that the chemo will stop the cancer and that my body can sustain strength enough to heal...all by God's power and love. I will report another area where prayer has been answered. My mind and heart have been renewed with hope and with peace, and I would say the whole family as well. Please continue to pray for all of us to have strength for each day.
God,
Thank You for all the answers to our cries for help that You give graciously. Thank You for all the encouragement and love. Thank You for being a whisper away. When I call Your Name, You hear me. Thank You. Thank You for 6 years more of life and for never leaving our side. You are faithful and good. I don't really want to go Monday, but I can go knowing that You will not be far away, but right there with me. I trust You, God, to walk into that room with me...one more time.
In Jesus' sweet Name,
Amen.
My appointment went well on Monday, October 15th . Saw my doctor first and after examining me, she decided that I could start chemo. We also talked about working on gaining weight (you all can pray about that) and some of the possible side effects of the new chemo. She said that this chemo is usually tolerated well. It was so good to hear that.
She was right! Praise God...my body's response to the chemo was very good! The first week I was bracing myself about Wednesday and Thursday for crashing with fatigue, nausea, etc., but it never really happened. I did take a precautionary nausea med for two or three days (Zofran), but by Friday I felt pretty good until later that night. We went out with some friends to eat catfish in town. I really only had one piece and about 4 or 5 fries and some other sides. Later on, about 10 pm, I got very, very sick. Nauseous. To make that long story short...the lesson learned was...fried foods need to be avoided big time. :-)
The next day and all the next week went well. One day during that week, I told my husband Tom that I felt the most normal that I had felt for a long time. I still guarded my stamina, but I was getting out and doing a bit more. Just really felt good.
Then I started the third week. Same as week two...very good. My dear friend Carol came to visit me from Abilene, TX and I had enough energy to get out and get around with her. I was so grateful for her visit. One night though I did have another weird "crash" night. I got a bad headache, had a fever of 103+ and had nausea...all from, I believe, being in a store with very strong scents. By the morning, the fever had broken and all was calm again. Lesson learned...strong scents need to be avoided big time. (I continue to learn.)
So that brings this blog up to date. Three very good weeks! I have been thanking God over and over for letting me feel good. I don't know if the new chemo is working on the inside, but I do know that prayers have been answered for me to have very minimal side effects. It's really been incredible! Thank you so much for your prayers!
Lots of other things happened in those 3 weeks. The hardest event was when a sweet friend of mine, a cancer survivor for 5 years, passed away. She was such an amazing fighter...a single mom with four great children, trying to juggle her battle, her family and work. I will miss her and so will many others.
The very next day, October 18th, was the sixth anniversary of when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer. Six years. Wow. Yes, I am still very much in the fight, but I am SO grateful to God for every single day of those six years. Every single day is another gift of grace from Him. As many days as I am given, I want to continue to praise Him and say "Thank You, O God. You are SO good and faithful."
The weekend of October 19-21 my special longtime friend Kimberly participated in the Komen 3 Day Walk in the city of Atlanta. She walked in my honor and for another friend of hers. Such an awesome honor! This was her second year to do the walk. She's worked so hard training and raising the money to help fight this battle. (Thanks so much Kim!) I'm so grateful for her gift and for our friendship.
One other special thing that happened in the past 3 weeks is that I was given a special honor from the women's club that I help sponsor at Harding University. On Homecoming weekend our club traditionally has an Alumni Brunch for the new members to greet the old members and the old members to reconnect. This year they had a special time to honor me. I was totally surprised! The girls spoke sweet words of love and encouragement to me. Both new and old members gave me some lovely and meaningful gifts...just incredible. Then we all closed with a prayer. It was so sweet. The tears poured down my cheeks and the kleenex in my purse were all used up. :-) Really, once again, I felt like God was pouring down His loving manna into my heart. It was a special, special day.
SO...that's it. The 3 week cycle starts again Monday, November 5th. The main prayer is that the chemo will stop the cancer and that my body can sustain strength enough to heal...all by God's power and love. I will report another area where prayer has been answered. My mind and heart have been renewed with hope and with peace, and I would say the whole family as well. Please continue to pray for all of us to have strength for each day.
God,
Thank You for all the answers to our cries for help that You give graciously. Thank You for all the encouragement and love. Thank You for being a whisper away. When I call Your Name, You hear me. Thank You. Thank You for 6 years more of life and for never leaving our side. You are faithful and good. I don't really want to go Monday, but I can go knowing that You will not be far away, but right there with me. I trust You, God, to walk into that room with me...one more time.
In Jesus' sweet Name,
Amen.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Restored and hopeful again
Two weeks have gone by and my job was to rest...and I did. Slowly after week one I could feel my body recovering. The low grade fever that was coming and going finally left. My appetite improved. My overall strength improved. Last week I actually went for a walk in the neighborhood 3 times, which was great! I didn't go far but I still was proud that I walked to James Street and back. My emotions have improved as well. I felt so discouraged after the surgery, but I feel hope again. (The physical really effects the mind and heart so much.) Overall, God has restored my strength. Yay!
So now...I will see the oncologist tomorrow (Monday). If she thinks that I am strong enough, I will begin chemo treatment tomorrow. We will try Carboplatin this time, a drug that I have not used yet. I've heard good things about it, even that the side effects are not as difficult as some, which was good to hear. I may or may not lose my hair. Right now, my hair is very thin...but still there! (yay) Don't know how I'll respond to Carboplatin, but if I do lose my hair, I've already got a wig ready to flop on. If I start tomorrow, then it will be given to me every 3 weeks. I don't know how many rounds I'll receive before I get scans to see if it's working. But I think I will get some scans done about the first of December to see how well the liver procedure worked. That's all I know at this point.
God continues to bless me...everyday. He is so good. He is faithful to carry me through each day, whether it is an easy day or difficult. I wake up and wonder what the day will look like, and just thank Him for giving me one more day. None of us know what our days will look like, but when I start the day with hopeful anticipation, looking for God to show up here and there throughout the day, it truly fills my heart with hope. His mercies ARE new every morning.
God,
Thank You for this day...Your special day, set aside to worship and praise You. You are so wonderful and sweet to me. Yes, this is hard, O God...but You have kept Your promise to never leave me alone. When I whisper Your Name or... if I yell it out in agony...You hear my voice and come. Thank You. Please continue to give my family and me Your sustaining strength for each day. Please help me to eat and sleep well. And please, if You are going to use medicine to heal me Lord, let this chemo be the drug that You use to win the battle. If You heal me without medicine, which I believe and know You can do, then...come soon O Lord. I trust in Your powerful Love, and know that You are tenderly watching over me in this valley. I love You, O God, with all my heart. Forever I will praise You and thank You.
In Jesus' sweet Name,
Amen.
So now...I will see the oncologist tomorrow (Monday). If she thinks that I am strong enough, I will begin chemo treatment tomorrow. We will try Carboplatin this time, a drug that I have not used yet. I've heard good things about it, even that the side effects are not as difficult as some, which was good to hear. I may or may not lose my hair. Right now, my hair is very thin...but still there! (yay) Don't know how I'll respond to Carboplatin, but if I do lose my hair, I've already got a wig ready to flop on. If I start tomorrow, then it will be given to me every 3 weeks. I don't know how many rounds I'll receive before I get scans to see if it's working. But I think I will get some scans done about the first of December to see how well the liver procedure worked. That's all I know at this point.
God continues to bless me...everyday. He is so good. He is faithful to carry me through each day, whether it is an easy day or difficult. I wake up and wonder what the day will look like, and just thank Him for giving me one more day. None of us know what our days will look like, but when I start the day with hopeful anticipation, looking for God to show up here and there throughout the day, it truly fills my heart with hope. His mercies ARE new every morning.
God,
Thank You for this day...Your special day, set aside to worship and praise You. You are so wonderful and sweet to me. Yes, this is hard, O God...but You have kept Your promise to never leave me alone. When I whisper Your Name or... if I yell it out in agony...You hear my voice and come. Thank You. Please continue to give my family and me Your sustaining strength for each day. Please help me to eat and sleep well. And please, if You are going to use medicine to heal me Lord, let this chemo be the drug that You use to win the battle. If You heal me without medicine, which I believe and know You can do, then...come soon O Lord. I trust in Your powerful Love, and know that You are tenderly watching over me in this valley. I love You, O God, with all my heart. Forever I will praise You and thank You.
In Jesus' sweet Name,
Amen.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Rest
Saw my doctor Monday. She quickly assessed that I did not need to get chemo yet, but needed to rest for two more weeks. She said that the liver procedure/surgery "was a big, big deal". When she told me some people who undergo that procedure stay a couple of weeks in the hospital, I was shocked! I guess I've been thinking that I should have rebounded in 3 or 4 days, and when it wasn't happening, I felt discouraged. She reminded me that anytime you are under anesthesia, having your body worked on, and in this case, an organ, it is very hard for your body to recover.
That helped me a lot! Took some kind of imaginary timetable out of my mind. I think the hospital folks said I would just need some pain meds for 2 or 3 days and then I'd be fine. But...I haven't. Over the weekend, I had fever and acheyness. After I saw my doctor, I felt better just knowing I wasn't "behind" in recovering. I was really dreading the chemo treatment because I just didn't feel well. I know how hard it hits my body when I get it. But, she cancelled the treatment, so that was good too. My prayer before I went in was to ask the Lord to speak through my doctor...that her decision was His decision. I didn't know what would happen...chemo or no chemo. And I told her my fears of delaying the chemo again, and that maybe we shouldn't have done the liver procedure. She said "no, no, no...the liver procedure WAS the right decision and now you have to heal and get your strength back. We're on the right track." I am trusting my prayer was answered. That God gave her wisdom to assess my body. And she said "Rest". That does sound like God. It's something He says often to all of us.
So, now I'm trying to take it slow. I did a little better today, but had a low grade fever again last night. Just going to take each day slowly.
Please pray for my emotions to regain hope and strength, please pray for my body to heal. And, always, always...please pray for my precious family...each one of them: Tom, Jesse, Betsy, Jamie and Mary. This is as hard on them to go through as it is me, I believe. It requires lots of caregiving and support, while they continue to lead their daily lives. The struggle of emotions are tucked away so they can be strong for the moment and for me. They are amazing!
God,
Thank You for answering my specific prayer on Monday. You know that I am so grateful for my doctor. She is Yours and hears Your voice. I am trusting You, oh God, that this rest is the written prescription from Your hand. Please strengthen all of my precious family with the breath of Your loving Spirit and Your strength. It is all we need. We love you, oh God. Today belongs to You. I give You praise this day and always.
Your daughter,
Lisa
That helped me a lot! Took some kind of imaginary timetable out of my mind. I think the hospital folks said I would just need some pain meds for 2 or 3 days and then I'd be fine. But...I haven't. Over the weekend, I had fever and acheyness. After I saw my doctor, I felt better just knowing I wasn't "behind" in recovering. I was really dreading the chemo treatment because I just didn't feel well. I know how hard it hits my body when I get it. But, she cancelled the treatment, so that was good too. My prayer before I went in was to ask the Lord to speak through my doctor...that her decision was His decision. I didn't know what would happen...chemo or no chemo. And I told her my fears of delaying the chemo again, and that maybe we shouldn't have done the liver procedure. She said "no, no, no...the liver procedure WAS the right decision and now you have to heal and get your strength back. We're on the right track." I am trusting my prayer was answered. That God gave her wisdom to assess my body. And she said "Rest". That does sound like God. It's something He says often to all of us.
So, now I'm trying to take it slow. I did a little better today, but had a low grade fever again last night. Just going to take each day slowly.
Please pray for my emotions to regain hope and strength, please pray for my body to heal. And, always, always...please pray for my precious family...each one of them: Tom, Jesse, Betsy, Jamie and Mary. This is as hard on them to go through as it is me, I believe. It requires lots of caregiving and support, while they continue to lead their daily lives. The struggle of emotions are tucked away so they can be strong for the moment and for me. They are amazing!
God,
Thank You for answering my specific prayer on Monday. You know that I am so grateful for my doctor. She is Yours and hears Your voice. I am trusting You, oh God, that this rest is the written prescription from Your hand. Please strengthen all of my precious family with the breath of Your loving Spirit and Your strength. It is all we need. We love you, oh God. Today belongs to You. I give You praise this day and always.
Your daughter,
Lisa
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Recovery
Tuesday was my liver "procedure". That's what it's called, but from my point of view...it was surgery. They called me in for the pre-op stuff, eventually rolled me into the O.R., and the last thing I remember was "Mrs. Carr, we are going to give you a little something for anxiety". I said "Okay" and I was gone. :-) They did not cut into me but went in with two needles for the two spots on my liver. The needles are fancy dancey tools that have tricks up their sleeve. The main trick...to zap the cancer. And they did. The doctor told Tom it went very well. I spent the night there and then went home on Wednesday around noon.
Since then...I've been recovering. I guess I thought I'd have a couple of slow days and then rebound, but I haven't. And Friday and today, I've felt a little worse. I've had low grade fever. I've had achey, flu like symptoms all day as well. Not feeling so great. Talked to my doctor tonight and she told me what pain meds to take for now.
Not going to make this long. Please pray for my emotions and mind to be renewed with hope. Please pray for my spirit to be refreshed with the Spirit of God...who pours out exactly what I need. And please pray for my body...to not have infection or fever, to not be in pain and to....be healed. Head to toe.
God,
You know what today looked like. Please, let tomorrow be better. Restore, renew, refresh my heart of hearts. I love You.
No matter what tomorrow looks like, I will love You.
Always,
Lisa
Since then...I've been recovering. I guess I thought I'd have a couple of slow days and then rebound, but I haven't. And Friday and today, I've felt a little worse. I've had low grade fever. I've had achey, flu like symptoms all day as well. Not feeling so great. Talked to my doctor tonight and she told me what pain meds to take for now.
Not going to make this long. Please pray for my emotions and mind to be renewed with hope. Please pray for my spirit to be refreshed with the Spirit of God...who pours out exactly what I need. And please pray for my body...to not have infection or fever, to not be in pain and to....be healed. Head to toe.
God,
You know what today looked like. Please, let tomorrow be better. Restore, renew, refresh my heart of hearts. I love You.
No matter what tomorrow looks like, I will love You.
Always,
Lisa
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Our Sustainer
Last week I finally received the "new plan". We've done this before...started new plans and then found that it didn't really work. But I would rather have another "new plan" than no plans available...so, here we go again.
Tom and I thought and prayed about the liver ablation procedure and decided that we wanted to do that, if I was a candidate. Well, the radiologists read all the scans and decided that I was indeed a candidate. They set the date for this procedure to be done on Tuesday, September 25th. They are going to use a "nano knife" on one of the cancer spots on my liver because the spot is near a large vein. This type of procedure doesn't damage the vein at all. The other cancerous spot will be removed with radio frequency (called an RFA). All of it is beyond my understanding, but I'm just grateful that the spots can be removed! I will go in early Tuesday morning and they said the procedure will begin at about 7:30 am and take approximately 3 hours. It is not really surgery. They use needles to touch the cancer. I will have general anesthesia. The nurse said the hardest part is getting the needles placed. Then they use heat to "zap" the spots. (I will have general anesthesia.) She also said that Baptist Hospital was the first in the nation and the world to use the nano knife and that they've done hundreds and hundreds of these with great success. That sounded comforting.
After we got the date for this procedure set up, my oncologist's nurse called and said I would do chemo the following Monday after the hospital procedure. I will begin a new chemo (by new I mean one that I haven't used before) called Carboplatin. We are already praying for this one to work.
In the meantime, God has been restoring my body with strength and my heart with hope, and I know that is from all the loving prayers. The last couple of weeks have been incredible. God has sent encouragement in many, many different forms! Dear family members and friends have come to visit me. That is such a great boost to my heart. I've received notes, phone calls, a worship CD, emails, cards and more. Last week I received two painted pictures from 2 young friends under 10 years old that had scriptures and truth written on them. They're beautiful. (They are sitting propped up near our kitchen table.) Three different groups of friends came last week specifically to pray with me. Food continues to arrive with love. I've had so much encouragement...it's been amazing. I call it Manna...like the heavenly bread that rained down on the Israelites. God has rained down encouragement to me everyday...and just enough for that day.
Last weekend was especially manna-filled. My dear friend Gloria from Colorado flew in Friday to visit. Some more dear friends Deb and Paul from Ohio flew in on that Saturday. And some more dear friends, Rosemary,Jessa and Jessa's 3 year old Jack, drove from Tennessee to come visit that afternoon. Wow! It was so wonderful! The Bible says "A cheerful heart is good medicine", and that's what it did for me...made my heart cheerful and full. THEN...last Saturday night was another Wow. Another sweet friend, Cindy, brought her girls and a couple of friends and played beautiful bluegrass music for us all !!! A private concert in my living room. SO sweet. The next day, on Sunday evening, the Lord blessed me with more than enough strength to play the keyboard for Prodigals again. We had about 200 people come to see it, which was so cool. Such a powerful weekend!
Day by day God sustains our hearts and day by day He takes care of my body. He is so good.
When my mind wanders down the road of thoughts that are difficult...the ones that whisper sad outcomes...I try to stop those thoughts. I pause and I remind myself of all the faithful ways He has taken care of me and our whole family. I remember (and many times others help me remember) that I am called to live this day, and that it is not good to look ahead too far. Is that foolish? No. It is what Jesus said to do...and it works. One day at a time...one moment at a time.
So...prayer requests?
They are the same...again. Please pray for no cancer. Complete healing. Pray that the spots wouldn't even BE there on Tuesday. They use CT scans to guide the needles to the liver lesions. Wouldn't it be cool if they are looking and looking and could not see any spots? Not impossible. Very possible with God. All cancer just....gone. And if they are still there... pray that the doctors would be guided by God, recovery would be easy and healing would come quickly. All of it is in God's hands.
Oh Holy God,
I praise Your wonderful Name and love You so much God! Thank You for sustaining me day by day. Thank You for Your encouragement and love that arrives daily through Your children. Thank You for restoring my hope. Thank You for today. I'm trusting You with tomorrow, God. Thank You.
With all of my love,
Lisa
Tom and I thought and prayed about the liver ablation procedure and decided that we wanted to do that, if I was a candidate. Well, the radiologists read all the scans and decided that I was indeed a candidate. They set the date for this procedure to be done on Tuesday, September 25th. They are going to use a "nano knife" on one of the cancer spots on my liver because the spot is near a large vein. This type of procedure doesn't damage the vein at all. The other cancerous spot will be removed with radio frequency (called an RFA). All of it is beyond my understanding, but I'm just grateful that the spots can be removed! I will go in early Tuesday morning and they said the procedure will begin at about 7:30 am and take approximately 3 hours. It is not really surgery. They use needles to touch the cancer. I will have general anesthesia. The nurse said the hardest part is getting the needles placed. Then they use heat to "zap" the spots. (I will have general anesthesia.) She also said that Baptist Hospital was the first in the nation and the world to use the nano knife and that they've done hundreds and hundreds of these with great success. That sounded comforting.
After we got the date for this procedure set up, my oncologist's nurse called and said I would do chemo the following Monday after the hospital procedure. I will begin a new chemo (by new I mean one that I haven't used before) called Carboplatin. We are already praying for this one to work.
In the meantime, God has been restoring my body with strength and my heart with hope, and I know that is from all the loving prayers. The last couple of weeks have been incredible. God has sent encouragement in many, many different forms! Dear family members and friends have come to visit me. That is such a great boost to my heart. I've received notes, phone calls, a worship CD, emails, cards and more. Last week I received two painted pictures from 2 young friends under 10 years old that had scriptures and truth written on them. They're beautiful. (They are sitting propped up near our kitchen table.) Three different groups of friends came last week specifically to pray with me. Food continues to arrive with love. I've had so much encouragement...it's been amazing. I call it Manna...like the heavenly bread that rained down on the Israelites. God has rained down encouragement to me everyday...and just enough for that day.
Last weekend was especially manna-filled. My dear friend Gloria from Colorado flew in Friday to visit. Some more dear friends Deb and Paul from Ohio flew in on that Saturday. And some more dear friends, Rosemary,Jessa and Jessa's 3 year old Jack, drove from Tennessee to come visit that afternoon. Wow! It was so wonderful! The Bible says "A cheerful heart is good medicine", and that's what it did for me...made my heart cheerful and full. THEN...last Saturday night was another Wow. Another sweet friend, Cindy, brought her girls and a couple of friends and played beautiful bluegrass music for us all !!! A private concert in my living room. SO sweet. The next day, on Sunday evening, the Lord blessed me with more than enough strength to play the keyboard for Prodigals again. We had about 200 people come to see it, which was so cool. Such a powerful weekend!
Day by day God sustains our hearts and day by day He takes care of my body. He is so good.
When my mind wanders down the road of thoughts that are difficult...the ones that whisper sad outcomes...I try to stop those thoughts. I pause and I remind myself of all the faithful ways He has taken care of me and our whole family. I remember (and many times others help me remember) that I am called to live this day, and that it is not good to look ahead too far. Is that foolish? No. It is what Jesus said to do...and it works. One day at a time...one moment at a time.
So...prayer requests?
They are the same...again. Please pray for no cancer. Complete healing. Pray that the spots wouldn't even BE there on Tuesday. They use CT scans to guide the needles to the liver lesions. Wouldn't it be cool if they are looking and looking and could not see any spots? Not impossible. Very possible with God. All cancer just....gone. And if they are still there... pray that the doctors would be guided by God, recovery would be easy and healing would come quickly. All of it is in God's hands.
Oh Holy God,
I praise Your wonderful Name and love You so much God! Thank You for sustaining me day by day. Thank You for Your encouragement and love that arrives daily through Your children. Thank You for restoring my hope. Thank You for today. I'm trusting You with tomorrow, God. Thank You.
With all of my love,
Lisa
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Nothing is Impossible
It's been hard to sit and write this blog...and I guess that's why I've taken so long to do it. We received the results from my scans last week and they were not what we wanted to hear. There was more progression of the cancer in my body.
The CT of the brain did not show any lesions/tumors. That was good. But the bone scan and the CT of my chest and abdomen areas were not good. My doctor said I had a mixed response. Yes, some of the tumors on my vertebrae had actually shrunk. But there were other old spots that grew bigger and there were new spots we had not seen before. The worst news we received was that there were 2 spots on my liver, each one is 1 cm. Not good. Overall assessment...progression...again.
SO....the big question...what next? Our oncologist said we have lots of options that we have not tried yet, chemo treatments that I have not used that were considered good options. She suggested an oral drug called Xeloda that is actually taken at home. It has very difficult side effects, but she said not everyone has them. Another option is a different I.V. chemo called Carboplatin that is used for metastasized breast cancer. We also talked about a medical procedure where they go in with radio frequency and zap (with heat) the lesions on the liver. That sounded good...to get rid of the spots. Right now, our doctor's plan is to do the liver procedure very soon...possibly this week and then, as soon as I can, start the chemo.
BUT...Tom and I have been talking and praying about exactly what to do, trying to make wise decisions in the middle of this new information. So many people have said "go to MD Anderson" or go here or there...BIG cancer centers. The truth is there are still standard procedures that have been used for years that we have not tried yet. We decided to get counsel from some medical people. We called a friend in Texas who is an oncologist. He gave us great counsel and things to consider. We also decided to try and get hold of the doctor we talked to in February that is at Vanderbilt University Cancer Center. (See blog 2-6-12 called New Plan). He is a world renowned breast cancer doctor and researcher. I was surprised when he actually called me Friday evening and we talked for about 20 minutes. (That is unheard of for most doctors to call the patient at home!) He thought both drugs that my doctor suggested were great options and he suggested a third option. He told me again that there were no clinical trials for my particular situation at this time. He was complimentary of my oncologist's care and decisions. It was so encouraging to speak with him. He is a researcher and oncologist, really on top of current information. I was shocked that I had made contact so quickly, but very grateful. It was definitely a blessed call.
So...we will talk to our doctor again on Monday with a couple of questions and then begin some new plan as quickly as possible. That is the medical scoop.
Physically, I'm doing a little better about food/appetite since I've been off the chemo. I still need prayers for that. My hair has thinned out quite a bit, but is not gone. I have been wearing baseball caps here and there but haven't started wearing the wig. My pain is about the same and continues to be managed by the pills I take twice a day. My strength is better than 3 weeks ago, but I still feel tired overall.
Then there's the whole other part...heart, soul and mind. We heard the results on Tuesday over the phone, then saw the doctor on Wednesday. Tuesday was emotionally VERY hard. We were sad, so disappointed that it had not worked. It was especially hard to hear that now the cancer was on the liver. I know that is not a good thing. We wiped away tears and talked and processed it all day. But when we saw the doctor on Wednesday, we felt a little better. She said "we still have options". That was huge. Options. Yay!
Our family and friends have quickly reminded us that God still "has options". Nothing...NOTHING is impossible with God. Many of the miracle stories in the Bible show God intervening in the last moment. Abraham sacrificing his only son, the promised heir, on an altar...and God sent an angel at the last possible moment and stopped it. The woman who had the issue of blood had spent all she had on the doctors and nothing had worked. She was desperate and had run out of options. Except for Jesus. The Perfect Option. We have decided to continue with medical options, Western medicine. But we KNOW that, ultimately, it is God Who is the Healer. We will continue to ask Him to swoop in and rescue me.
I feel like the woman that touched the hem of the garment. Not in the sense that we've spent everything we have or that she had no other options medically. We are blessed to still have options that are considered great and wonderful. But I feel like her in the sense that I must rely on Jesus Christ. I am pushing through the crowd, reaching out to just touch that hem one more time. He has healed me before...twice. I give God all the glory for those healings. But here I am ....reaching out again for that hem. I know God is more than able to heal me. My job is to keep looking to Him for daily life and strength. He is in charge of my life...yes, and my death.
There is a wood decoration in our kitchen that says "Give Thanks in Everything". That is what it says in Philippians 4. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Wow. Don't worry about anything? That's what Jesus said too in Matthew 6. "Don't be anxious about tomorrow. Tomorrow's anxious for itself. Today's own troubles are enough for today."
So...that's where I am, I'm trying to live one day at a time...trusting God with my life...hanging on to hope in Christ Jesus...and walking in His strength, not mine. I pray constantly for my family, that God will give them comfort and strength to face this with me. And He has. He has held us all up hour by hour, minute by minute.
The battle is still on. I haven't given up, even though I'm tired of this. I want to keep fighting for life. I want to keep my eyes on Jesus. He is good and full of love for us all. When we have struggles and suffering that we are facing...God will not abandon us. Actually, He feels closer when it is hard. He is so real and faithful and good.
Oh God,
Thank You for being with our family this past week. This is hard. We don't understand. But we love You and we trust You with everything in our lives. Please give us faith, to believe in what we cannot see, and give us hope and courage to believe in what looks impossible. I know ALL things are possible with You. That is where our hearts land, believing in Your decisions and trusting You wholeheartedly.
In the Name that is full of love and power, Jesus,
Amen.
The CT of the brain did not show any lesions/tumors. That was good. But the bone scan and the CT of my chest and abdomen areas were not good. My doctor said I had a mixed response. Yes, some of the tumors on my vertebrae had actually shrunk. But there were other old spots that grew bigger and there were new spots we had not seen before. The worst news we received was that there were 2 spots on my liver, each one is 1 cm. Not good. Overall assessment...progression...again.
SO....the big question...what next? Our oncologist said we have lots of options that we have not tried yet, chemo treatments that I have not used that were considered good options. She suggested an oral drug called Xeloda that is actually taken at home. It has very difficult side effects, but she said not everyone has them. Another option is a different I.V. chemo called Carboplatin that is used for metastasized breast cancer. We also talked about a medical procedure where they go in with radio frequency and zap (with heat) the lesions on the liver. That sounded good...to get rid of the spots. Right now, our doctor's plan is to do the liver procedure very soon...possibly this week and then, as soon as I can, start the chemo.
BUT...Tom and I have been talking and praying about exactly what to do, trying to make wise decisions in the middle of this new information. So many people have said "go to MD Anderson" or go here or there...BIG cancer centers. The truth is there are still standard procedures that have been used for years that we have not tried yet. We decided to get counsel from some medical people. We called a friend in Texas who is an oncologist. He gave us great counsel and things to consider. We also decided to try and get hold of the doctor we talked to in February that is at Vanderbilt University Cancer Center. (See blog 2-6-12 called New Plan). He is a world renowned breast cancer doctor and researcher. I was surprised when he actually called me Friday evening and we talked for about 20 minutes. (That is unheard of for most doctors to call the patient at home!) He thought both drugs that my doctor suggested were great options and he suggested a third option. He told me again that there were no clinical trials for my particular situation at this time. He was complimentary of my oncologist's care and decisions. It was so encouraging to speak with him. He is a researcher and oncologist, really on top of current information. I was shocked that I had made contact so quickly, but very grateful. It was definitely a blessed call.
So...we will talk to our doctor again on Monday with a couple of questions and then begin some new plan as quickly as possible. That is the medical scoop.
Physically, I'm doing a little better about food/appetite since I've been off the chemo. I still need prayers for that. My hair has thinned out quite a bit, but is not gone. I have been wearing baseball caps here and there but haven't started wearing the wig. My pain is about the same and continues to be managed by the pills I take twice a day. My strength is better than 3 weeks ago, but I still feel tired overall.
Then there's the whole other part...heart, soul and mind. We heard the results on Tuesday over the phone, then saw the doctor on Wednesday. Tuesday was emotionally VERY hard. We were sad, so disappointed that it had not worked. It was especially hard to hear that now the cancer was on the liver. I know that is not a good thing. We wiped away tears and talked and processed it all day. But when we saw the doctor on Wednesday, we felt a little better. She said "we still have options". That was huge. Options. Yay!
Our family and friends have quickly reminded us that God still "has options". Nothing...NOTHING is impossible with God. Many of the miracle stories in the Bible show God intervening in the last moment. Abraham sacrificing his only son, the promised heir, on an altar...and God sent an angel at the last possible moment and stopped it. The woman who had the issue of blood had spent all she had on the doctors and nothing had worked. She was desperate and had run out of options. Except for Jesus. The Perfect Option. We have decided to continue with medical options, Western medicine. But we KNOW that, ultimately, it is God Who is the Healer. We will continue to ask Him to swoop in and rescue me.
I feel like the woman that touched the hem of the garment. Not in the sense that we've spent everything we have or that she had no other options medically. We are blessed to still have options that are considered great and wonderful. But I feel like her in the sense that I must rely on Jesus Christ. I am pushing through the crowd, reaching out to just touch that hem one more time. He has healed me before...twice. I give God all the glory for those healings. But here I am ....reaching out again for that hem. I know God is more than able to heal me. My job is to keep looking to Him for daily life and strength. He is in charge of my life...yes, and my death.
There is a wood decoration in our kitchen that says "Give Thanks in Everything". That is what it says in Philippians 4. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Wow. Don't worry about anything? That's what Jesus said too in Matthew 6. "Don't be anxious about tomorrow. Tomorrow's anxious for itself. Today's own troubles are enough for today."
So...that's where I am, I'm trying to live one day at a time...trusting God with my life...hanging on to hope in Christ Jesus...and walking in His strength, not mine. I pray constantly for my family, that God will give them comfort and strength to face this with me. And He has. He has held us all up hour by hour, minute by minute.
The battle is still on. I haven't given up, even though I'm tired of this. I want to keep fighting for life. I want to keep my eyes on Jesus. He is good and full of love for us all. When we have struggles and suffering that we are facing...God will not abandon us. Actually, He feels closer when it is hard. He is so real and faithful and good.
Oh God,
Thank You for being with our family this past week. This is hard. We don't understand. But we love You and we trust You with everything in our lives. Please give us faith, to believe in what we cannot see, and give us hope and courage to believe in what looks impossible. I know ALL things are possible with You. That is where our hearts land, believing in Your decisions and trusting You wholeheartedly.
In the Name that is full of love and power, Jesus,
Amen.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Waiting again
Thursday I went to Little Rock and did my scans. First they did the CT scans and then the full bone scan. Nothing really happened out the ordinary for the scans. My friend and I were able to get back to Searcy before the heavy rains started coming into town.
I thought I might hear about the results Friday but they did not call me. I talked to Tom and we decided not to call but to just wait till Tuesday.
SO...I'm in waiting mode. Should hear something Tuesday. My doctor appointment is Wednesday. The peace that passes all understanding is in my heart. The Lord is in charge. To be continued.
I thought I might hear about the results Friday but they did not call me. I talked to Tom and we decided not to call but to just wait till Tuesday.
SO...I'm in waiting mode. Should hear something Tuesday. My doctor appointment is Wednesday. The peace that passes all understanding is in my heart. The Lord is in charge. To be continued.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Taking a break
Yesterday Tom and I went to Little Rock to see my doctor. She asked some questions, how I've been doing, etc. I told her that the past month's side effects have been more difficult. In July, I was still able to keep up with some limited activities (even told her about the Prodigals performances). But, the past three weeks have been hard. I've been fatigued, nauseous and have had a hard time with my appetite and eating. I've lost a few more pounds as well. She gave me a physical exam and then looked at the charts. Then she surprised me and said "We're not going to do the chemo today. Your counts are okay, but you just seem very tired to me today. Last month you came in and were very robust. I think you need a rest and a break. We will set up scans next week and then I will see you the following week, so you will have two weeks off. Hopefully you can regain some of your strength."
Wow...I was so, so surprised. I'd brought my handy tote bag that I always bring. It has a few snacks, water, a blanket and socks (the treatment room is very cold), ipod, kleenex, etc. I was expecting 3 hours of sitting but instead I only had about 30 minutes. (I did not get the two chemos, Avastin and Taxol, but I still received the bone strengthener Zometa. I receive that once a month, so she said to go ahead with that.)
Also, I was so, so happy! She was right...I am tired. I want to be a trooper, to always be strong. There are lots of days that God gives me that kind of strength. But I've had some rough days in the past 2 or 3 weeks. The fatigue, the food, the nausea...all add up to yukky. Plus, my hair is very thin now...shedding daily. Do I get out the wig or not? In addition to the physical symptoms, I've had some down days, dealing with sadness and discouragement. I do try to counter it with uplifting things...Christian music, reading the scriptures, talking and praying with friends. That does help. But then, it's a daily battle, day in, day out.
I did get more good news...the tumor marker tests (there are two) were both in the normal range and the calcium test was normal as well. That is really wonderful! I want to focus on those great results...but I can't help but wonder about the upcoming scans. All the questions, that are always there in the back of my mind, come to the forefront when there is an actual scan date. What will they show? Has the chemo been doing what we want? Or, is there progression?
So that's the update. Taking a break from chemo. Needing to get strong again. Wanting the scans to show incredibly wonderful results. I need prayers for all of the above. Side effects to go away...nausea, loss of appetite, fatigue. Healing to continue even during this rest. Overall, encouragement of heart. That's the prayer list this time. Thanks so much for ALL of your prayers. I'm grateful.
Dear Father God,
Thank You for being with us yesterday and even for giving wisdom to my doctor. So many people pray for our family and for the medical people that attend to me, that I truly believe that she is being led by You, O God. Thank You also for the great test results...I am so thankful! I have to trust that You are leading us through this medical maze. I don't want to believe that it's just random, but that You love us and that You are showing us what to do. Please, Father, restore my strength...both physically and in my heart. I am trusting You...with every hour of every day. I love You, always. Your daughter, Lisa
Wow...I was so, so surprised. I'd brought my handy tote bag that I always bring. It has a few snacks, water, a blanket and socks (the treatment room is very cold), ipod, kleenex, etc. I was expecting 3 hours of sitting but instead I only had about 30 minutes. (I did not get the two chemos, Avastin and Taxol, but I still received the bone strengthener Zometa. I receive that once a month, so she said to go ahead with that.)
Also, I was so, so happy! She was right...I am tired. I want to be a trooper, to always be strong. There are lots of days that God gives me that kind of strength. But I've had some rough days in the past 2 or 3 weeks. The fatigue, the food, the nausea...all add up to yukky. Plus, my hair is very thin now...shedding daily. Do I get out the wig or not? In addition to the physical symptoms, I've had some down days, dealing with sadness and discouragement. I do try to counter it with uplifting things...Christian music, reading the scriptures, talking and praying with friends. That does help. But then, it's a daily battle, day in, day out.
I did get more good news...the tumor marker tests (there are two) were both in the normal range and the calcium test was normal as well. That is really wonderful! I want to focus on those great results...but I can't help but wonder about the upcoming scans. All the questions, that are always there in the back of my mind, come to the forefront when there is an actual scan date. What will they show? Has the chemo been doing what we want? Or, is there progression?
So that's the update. Taking a break from chemo. Needing to get strong again. Wanting the scans to show incredibly wonderful results. I need prayers for all of the above. Side effects to go away...nausea, loss of appetite, fatigue. Healing to continue even during this rest. Overall, encouragement of heart. That's the prayer list this time. Thanks so much for ALL of your prayers. I'm grateful.
Dear Father God,
Thank You for being with us yesterday and even for giving wisdom to my doctor. So many people pray for our family and for the medical people that attend to me, that I truly believe that she is being led by You, O God. Thank You also for the great test results...I am so thankful! I have to trust that You are leading us through this medical maze. I don't want to believe that it's just random, but that You love us and that You are showing us what to do. Please, Father, restore my strength...both physically and in my heart. I am trusting You...with every hour of every day. I love You, always. Your daughter, Lisa
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Busy, Busy July
The Prodigals musical production was a wonderful success! God really blessed the whole thing MORE than we ever imagined. There were 9 cast members plus our narrator...and ALL of them were incredible! Super talented! Caleb, the director (and also in the play) added so many creative ideas and staging to the songs. It really told the story in a fresh way, but was still true to the original story in the Bible. The theater planned on doing four shows, but they all sold out, so the director and the cast decided to do 2 more. Those were almost sold out as well! The whole experience was SO touching and beautiful. It was truly a dream and desire of my heart for years, more than 20...and it finally came true. All the people involved gave their time and talent to pull it off. God, Who is so good and loving, gave all of us a wonderful experience...but I know, for me, I received a huge gift from my Father in heaven. "Praise the Lord God, Oh my soul!"
Other July events...today is my 34th anniversary! Tom and I have had such an incredible journey together, full of great moments and lots of love. Thirty four years together and four wonderful children...we are truly blessed! I love him way more today than that first year together. We look back at how much in love we were that first year...but all the richness of life made that love deeper and deeper each year. I am forever grateful to God for my precious husband!
Also in July... I continued to go to treatments. I see my doctor once a month to just review labs and to see how I'm handling the treatments, etc. I saw her last week and the appointment went well. My labs came back and for the first time since who knows when....(drumroll)...my calcium was normal and BOTH of the tumor marker blood tests were in the normal range too. Praise God!!! These are the indicators she has always looked at before we see the scans and she was very pleased with the lab results. Me too. :-) I'll probably get the scans done in September.
I had treatment that same day that I saw the doctor. The past treatments have gone so well, all during the Prodigals rehearsals and shows...it was incredible. God truly just gave me strength and no side effects, it was really amazing. But after last week's treatment, about Wednesday, I wasn't feeling that great. Thursday was yukky, which means nausea and pain. But Friday got better and Saturday even better. Other side effects...I can tell my hair is coming out now. The new chemo, Taxol, has the side effect of losing my hair. Because the chemo is spread out in 3 doses rather than one large dose, the hair loss has been gradual. I don't really want to lose my hair, of course, but I have done this before. Been there/done that...so, it's not as scary as the first time. It's still not fun, though. I know God will give me the grace and emotional adjustment to handle this. He continues to take care of every part of this journey. I think it will be gone in the next 2 weeks. I already picked out a new wig from New Outlook at St. Vincent's. It'll be fine...I'm going brunette with soft highlights. New doo, (as in hair-do) .
I go back tomorrow (Monday) for treatment. One of the pre-meds they give for the chemo is Benadryl, so I usually conk out pretty quickly after I get it. Wear my earplugs, listen to my ipod, and snooze lightly. Takes about 2 hours. Then, home.
So...how am I doing overall?
I am grateful. God gave me a wonderful gift...Prodigals was such a blessing and joy!
I am grateful for my marriage of 34 years! My Tommy is incredible and wonderful!
I am grateful for the good lab reports. It helps increase hope.
Yes...I am VERY grateful. God has faithfully watched over me, giving peace and strength for each day. I do get weary. But He's told me to just live one day at a time. Sometimes it is one hour or even one minute at a time. But He never leaves me alone. He is so good. SO many people are praying...and I can tell. It is an honor that my name is spoken in prayer by family and friends. I really, really feel God's care and love day by day. I'm so grateful to all of you for your prayers.
That's all. Grateful. Still need prayers. Still here. Still fighting. Praise God.
Oh Father,
Thank You. That's all...just...thank You.
And one more thing...I love You.
Your daughter,
Lisa
Other July events...today is my 34th anniversary! Tom and I have had such an incredible journey together, full of great moments and lots of love. Thirty four years together and four wonderful children...we are truly blessed! I love him way more today than that first year together. We look back at how much in love we were that first year...but all the richness of life made that love deeper and deeper each year. I am forever grateful to God for my precious husband!
Also in July... I continued to go to treatments. I see my doctor once a month to just review labs and to see how I'm handling the treatments, etc. I saw her last week and the appointment went well. My labs came back and for the first time since who knows when....(drumroll)...my calcium was normal and BOTH of the tumor marker blood tests were in the normal range too. Praise God!!! These are the indicators she has always looked at before we see the scans and she was very pleased with the lab results. Me too. :-) I'll probably get the scans done in September.
I had treatment that same day that I saw the doctor. The past treatments have gone so well, all during the Prodigals rehearsals and shows...it was incredible. God truly just gave me strength and no side effects, it was really amazing. But after last week's treatment, about Wednesday, I wasn't feeling that great. Thursday was yukky, which means nausea and pain. But Friday got better and Saturday even better. Other side effects...I can tell my hair is coming out now. The new chemo, Taxol, has the side effect of losing my hair. Because the chemo is spread out in 3 doses rather than one large dose, the hair loss has been gradual. I don't really want to lose my hair, of course, but I have done this before. Been there/done that...so, it's not as scary as the first time. It's still not fun, though. I know God will give me the grace and emotional adjustment to handle this. He continues to take care of every part of this journey. I think it will be gone in the next 2 weeks. I already picked out a new wig from New Outlook at St. Vincent's. It'll be fine...I'm going brunette with soft highlights. New doo, (as in hair-do) .
I go back tomorrow (Monday) for treatment. One of the pre-meds they give for the chemo is Benadryl, so I usually conk out pretty quickly after I get it. Wear my earplugs, listen to my ipod, and snooze lightly. Takes about 2 hours. Then, home.
So...how am I doing overall?
I am grateful. God gave me a wonderful gift...Prodigals was such a blessing and joy!
I am grateful for my marriage of 34 years! My Tommy is incredible and wonderful!
I am grateful for the good lab reports. It helps increase hope.
Yes...I am VERY grateful. God has faithfully watched over me, giving peace and strength for each day. I do get weary. But He's told me to just live one day at a time. Sometimes it is one hour or even one minute at a time. But He never leaves me alone. He is so good. SO many people are praying...and I can tell. It is an honor that my name is spoken in prayer by family and friends. I really, really feel God's care and love day by day. I'm so grateful to all of you for your prayers.
That's all. Grateful. Still need prayers. Still here. Still fighting. Praise God.
Oh Father,
Thank You. That's all...just...thank You.
And one more thing...I love You.
Your daughter,
Lisa
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Prodigals
In the middle of this medical journey that I am walking through, God truly has given me a joyful surprise along the way!
On July 12-15, the local community theater in Searcy, Arkansas, Center on the Square, is going to present a program of songs that I wrote called "Prodigals". I am SO excited and honored that it's going to be done! There are 12 songs all together and they tell the wonderful story that Jesus told 2,000 years ago about the prodigal son. The songs are being performed by local singers and the music performed live. This is a dessert theatre. Coffee and a variety of desserts will be served and are included in the ticket price.
The other exciting part is that the production will be a benefit for IHCF African Christian Hospitals ministry, which is the ministry where Tom works. Specifically, the money will go straight to a new Cancer Treatment program that began in Nigeria this past year. It was started by two surgeons from America and two Nigerian doctors at Nigerian Christian Hospital. They've also written a book that is being used throughout Africa called "Where There is No Oncologist".
This whole battle I've been fighting is not a journey that most Africans with cancer ever have to deal with. Not because there is no cancer in Africa, but because, for the most part, there is no treatment available. It is rarely an option. I have had treatment available since the very first day I found out I had cancer...and promptly began all that was available. I am SO blessed to live in a country that has medicine to fight back. Nigerian Christian Hospital, in West Africa, has begun an oncology program that is wanting to "fight back" cancer in their region. I am so excited that this show, "Prodigals", will benefit this new cancer program.
I wrote the "Prodigals" songs about 20 years ago and have always hoped that someday they could be performed at a wonderful theater like this. Can't believe that it's actually happening! :-) ....and that it will bless my husband's work of helping the sick in Africa in the name Jesus. YAY! SO thankful!
If you are in our area, I hope you will come and see it! I think you'll be blessed. And if you are not close by, I would love for you to pray that the shows will be successful.
Showtimes are June 12-14 at 7 pm and June 15 at 1:30. You can call Center on the Square for reservations and information at 501-368-0111. Tickets are $15 and may be purchased in advance or at the door. Please come if you can!
If you want to participate with helping African Christian Hospitals, their addresss is
102 N. Locust, Searcy, AR 72143.
Here is a link to the theater for more information...
Dessert Theater: Prodigals at Center on the Square
Thanks so much!!!
P.S. Monday I go for treatment again...thank you for your continued prayers.
On July 12-15, the local community theater in Searcy, Arkansas, Center on the Square, is going to present a program of songs that I wrote called "Prodigals". I am SO excited and honored that it's going to be done! There are 12 songs all together and they tell the wonderful story that Jesus told 2,000 years ago about the prodigal son. The songs are being performed by local singers and the music performed live. This is a dessert theatre. Coffee and a variety of desserts will be served and are included in the ticket price.
The other exciting part is that the production will be a benefit for IHCF African Christian Hospitals ministry, which is the ministry where Tom works. Specifically, the money will go straight to a new Cancer Treatment program that began in Nigeria this past year. It was started by two surgeons from America and two Nigerian doctors at Nigerian Christian Hospital. They've also written a book that is being used throughout Africa called "Where There is No Oncologist".
This whole battle I've been fighting is not a journey that most Africans with cancer ever have to deal with. Not because there is no cancer in Africa, but because, for the most part, there is no treatment available. It is rarely an option. I have had treatment available since the very first day I found out I had cancer...and promptly began all that was available. I am SO blessed to live in a country that has medicine to fight back. Nigerian Christian Hospital, in West Africa, has begun an oncology program that is wanting to "fight back" cancer in their region. I am so excited that this show, "Prodigals", will benefit this new cancer program.
I wrote the "Prodigals" songs about 20 years ago and have always hoped that someday they could be performed at a wonderful theater like this. Can't believe that it's actually happening! :-) ....and that it will bless my husband's work of helping the sick in Africa in the name Jesus. YAY! SO thankful!
If you are in our area, I hope you will come and see it! I think you'll be blessed. And if you are not close by, I would love for you to pray that the shows will be successful.
Showtimes are June 12-14 at 7 pm and June 15 at 1:30. You can call Center on the Square for reservations and information at 501-368-0111. Tickets are $15 and may be purchased in advance or at the door. Please come if you can!
If you want to participate with helping African Christian Hospitals, their addresss is
102 N. Locust, Searcy, AR 72143.
Here is a link to the theater for more information...
Dessert Theater: Prodigals at Center on the Square
Thanks so much!!!
P.S. Monday I go for treatment again...thank you for your continued prayers.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Grateful Heart
It's Wednesday...and I'm actually doing pretty well. Yay! Praise God!
Monday we saw the doctor. She said the new chemo is usually given in one dosage every three weeks, but she decided to divide it into three dosages so that it doesn't hit me as hard. That's why I'm going once a week, for three weeks and then I get one week off. (I really don't get that week off because I get other drugs that are on a different schedule, so I'm basically going every Monday.) About my scans next week, she said that she didn't feel like we needed the scans because we can see from my lab and from just seeing me physically get around better, that the last treatments were working. But since we are starting a new chemo, she said we could wait till I'm on it for awhile, probably 3 months, and then get the scans done. She said we could get the scans if I just wanted to see, but it was up to me. Tom and I both said "no...that's okay, we don't have to see the scans". They have a lot of radiation, so if I can avoid them, that's great.
My lab results were good again! Calcium was 9.3 (10 is normal) and the tumor markers both had gone down some more (yay)...one in the normal range, one close. All indications seem to be that it is working. My doctor believes it is the Avastin in particular that is working well to stop the growth. I'm grateful for her optimism and confidence. My prayer is just that the new chemo will continue the good momentum.
Thanks SO much for your prayers! It's amazing that I haven't been real sick on this Day 3. That is so wonderful! SO thankful to God! I'm also feeling more peace about the drug change. Instead of being frustrated with the insurance issue, I'm remembering that God is in control of all of this and believing that this is what He wanted next. I want to trust Him always.
Thank You, God, for being with me on Monday! Thank You for the great results and for helping me to transition to this new drug. Father, I'm believing that You have orchestrated all of these details. You are so good and so full of love for us all. Thank You for giving me strength and peace for this day. I give You all the praise!
In Jesus Name.
Amen.
Monday we saw the doctor. She said the new chemo is usually given in one dosage every three weeks, but she decided to divide it into three dosages so that it doesn't hit me as hard. That's why I'm going once a week, for three weeks and then I get one week off. (I really don't get that week off because I get other drugs that are on a different schedule, so I'm basically going every Monday.) About my scans next week, she said that she didn't feel like we needed the scans because we can see from my lab and from just seeing me physically get around better, that the last treatments were working. But since we are starting a new chemo, she said we could wait till I'm on it for awhile, probably 3 months, and then get the scans done. She said we could get the scans if I just wanted to see, but it was up to me. Tom and I both said "no...that's okay, we don't have to see the scans". They have a lot of radiation, so if I can avoid them, that's great.
My lab results were good again! Calcium was 9.3 (10 is normal) and the tumor markers both had gone down some more (yay)...one in the normal range, one close. All indications seem to be that it is working. My doctor believes it is the Avastin in particular that is working well to stop the growth. I'm grateful for her optimism and confidence. My prayer is just that the new chemo will continue the good momentum.
Thanks SO much for your prayers! It's amazing that I haven't been real sick on this Day 3. That is so wonderful! SO thankful to God! I'm also feeling more peace about the drug change. Instead of being frustrated with the insurance issue, I'm remembering that God is in control of all of this and believing that this is what He wanted next. I want to trust Him always.
Thank You, God, for being with me on Monday! Thank You for the great results and for helping me to transition to this new drug. Father, I'm believing that You have orchestrated all of these details. You are so good and so full of love for us all. Thank You for giving me strength and peace for this day. I give You all the praise!
In Jesus Name.
Amen.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
New Chemo Monday
This past week I got a call from my doctor's nurse. We have something going on right now with our insurance company (they are denying payment on one of my treatment drugs...but we are appealing). Because of the rules with the FDA and the insurance companies, I have to change one of the chemo drugs that I have been getting the past few months.
I've been getting Avastin and Gemzar every 2 weeks and Zometa once a month. This Monday I will begin getting Taxol instead of Gemzar, plus Avastin every 2 weeks and Zometa still once a month. The new chemo, Taxol, has different side effects than Gemzar...and one of them is that I will lose my hair. Again.
When I was first diagnosed in 2006 I was put on chemo treatments that made my hair fall out. I have been down this road...so I guess I do have some experience to lean on. But I'm not sure that it makes it all that much easier. One part of me thinks "it's just hair, no big deal" and then there's the other part that remembers the emotional part of being a woman without hair. Ultimately, I have to tell myself that it really is just hair and that it doesn't matter. If the medicine will do what we want it to do (kill the cancer), then losing my hair is fine.
That's what I am telling myself. I have to. I don't want to dwell on the sad part, I want to move on to the battle. I trust that God is in control of my life, that He cares about every detail of my life and that, as Scripture says, " Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid;" (Luke 12:7a) If He knows that number...then He knows when there are none. And look at the words following that sentence. "Don't be afraid." The continual theme of the past 5 years. "Lisa, do not be afraid. Trust Me. I am the God who sees and who loves you." Over and over I have heard God tell me to trust Him.
And I do. With not only the number of hairs on my head, but the number of days in my life.
My job is to follow and love God on this life journey, even when I can't see too far ahead. That's what faith is all about. Believing before you see anything with your eyes. I believe God is real, that He loves me, that He is with me in ALL circumstances that life brings my way. He's promised to never leave me. I believe Him and I trust and love Him.
I've been getting Avastin and Gemzar every 2 weeks and Zometa once a month. This Monday I will begin getting Taxol instead of Gemzar, plus Avastin every 2 weeks and Zometa still once a month. The new chemo, Taxol, has different side effects than Gemzar...and one of them is that I will lose my hair. Again.
When I was first diagnosed in 2006 I was put on chemo treatments that made my hair fall out. I have been down this road...so I guess I do have some experience to lean on. But I'm not sure that it makes it all that much easier. One part of me thinks "it's just hair, no big deal" and then there's the other part that remembers the emotional part of being a woman without hair. Ultimately, I have to tell myself that it really is just hair and that it doesn't matter. If the medicine will do what we want it to do (kill the cancer), then losing my hair is fine.
That's what I am telling myself. I have to. I don't want to dwell on the sad part, I want to move on to the battle. I trust that God is in control of my life, that He cares about every detail of my life and that, as Scripture says, " Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid;" (Luke 12:7a) If He knows that number...then He knows when there are none. And look at the words following that sentence. "Don't be afraid." The continual theme of the past 5 years. "Lisa, do not be afraid. Trust Me. I am the God who sees and who loves you." Over and over I have heard God tell me to trust Him.
And I do. With not only the number of hairs on my head, but the number of days in my life.
My job is to follow and love God on this life journey, even when I can't see too far ahead. That's what faith is all about. Believing before you see anything with your eyes. I believe God is real, that He loves me, that He is with me in ALL circumstances that life brings my way. He's promised to never leave me. I believe Him and I trust and love Him.
O God,
I do love You. I don't really want to lose my hair again but I know it'll be okay. It's not the main issue. I ask You to give my body strength to endure these once a week treatments. Please cancel the side effects and just pour Your strength into my body. This is a long distance marathon, Lord. I cannot keep running without You, O God. Give me strength and courage and determination in my body, my heart and my mind. Thank You for sustaining me day after day. Thank You for all the ways You have blessed me over the past five years and taken care of every need. I praise You now and always for being the God who cares so much. I love you, Lord, today and forever.
Your daughter,
Lisa
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Good Appointment, Good Week
Monday's appointment with the doctor went really well. Thanks so much for your prayers!
We talked to my doctor about my lab results, which some of them were back immediately but some of them I got back on Tuesday. My calcium is still normal (yay God!)...it was 9.7 (10 is the normal line). The 2 tumor marker tests were also good. One had dropped down into the normal range for the first time (hooray again!) and the other one moved up a couple of points but they felt fine about that and considered it stable. These all indicate that the chemo is working...which is wonderful. We don't know for sure but these results look good. The other big news was she gave me a date for scans. I will have CT scans on July 6th...which means I will have one more treatment on June 25th and then I will have scans. The scans are on a Friday and I will see my oncologist on that following Monday.
I'm very ready to find out what is going on inside...but, as with all scans, I'm apprehensive about what they will actually show. There's no "prep" course for this test. I just go in...and do it. It is definitely all about trusting God and just seeing what He has been doing all along. Of course, I continue to pray for healing, day by day, hour by hour. Please just pray even now for the scans to show healing. God is holding me up everyday.
Also, prayers were answered this past week about the post-treatment yukky-nausea-pain days. I had the treatment Monday....and I have NOT had any "rough" days at all. :-) THAT is truly amazing! I am very grateful for the prayers and grateful to God for this gift. It's been more like the second week, just fine. I'm eating pretty well and sleeping well. I've also been able to cut down on some of my pain medicine on some days, which is also an answer to prayer! SO grateful to God.
Thank you all for your continued, faithful prayers. They are felt. I'm not kidding. I have a peace that "passes understanding" that can only be attributed to God and the prayers of so many people.
God,
Thank You for this past week and for Your loving hand that has not let go of me once. When I cry out to You, You make my heart settle down and fill me up with hope again. When I have questions, You lead me to answers. When I feel fear, You send people to remind me to "not be afraid" and encourage me again. You are faithful and good, over and over. I praise Your Name, O God. I love You, Lord....and I will continue to trust You with each new day. Where else would I go, but to You? You alone are the One true God...full of love and goodness.
Your daughter,
Lisa
We talked to my doctor about my lab results, which some of them were back immediately but some of them I got back on Tuesday. My calcium is still normal (yay God!)...it was 9.7 (10 is the normal line). The 2 tumor marker tests were also good. One had dropped down into the normal range for the first time (hooray again!) and the other one moved up a couple of points but they felt fine about that and considered it stable. These all indicate that the chemo is working...which is wonderful. We don't know for sure but these results look good. The other big news was she gave me a date for scans. I will have CT scans on July 6th...which means I will have one more treatment on June 25th and then I will have scans. The scans are on a Friday and I will see my oncologist on that following Monday.
I'm very ready to find out what is going on inside...but, as with all scans, I'm apprehensive about what they will actually show. There's no "prep" course for this test. I just go in...and do it. It is definitely all about trusting God and just seeing what He has been doing all along. Of course, I continue to pray for healing, day by day, hour by hour. Please just pray even now for the scans to show healing. God is holding me up everyday.
Also, prayers were answered this past week about the post-treatment yukky-nausea-pain days. I had the treatment Monday....and I have NOT had any "rough" days at all. :-) THAT is truly amazing! I am very grateful for the prayers and grateful to God for this gift. It's been more like the second week, just fine. I'm eating pretty well and sleeping well. I've also been able to cut down on some of my pain medicine on some days, which is also an answer to prayer! SO grateful to God.
Thank you all for your continued, faithful prayers. They are felt. I'm not kidding. I have a peace that "passes understanding" that can only be attributed to God and the prayers of so many people.
God,
Thank You for this past week and for Your loving hand that has not let go of me once. When I cry out to You, You make my heart settle down and fill me up with hope again. When I have questions, You lead me to answers. When I feel fear, You send people to remind me to "not be afraid" and encourage me again. You are faithful and good, over and over. I praise Your Name, O God. I love You, Lord....and I will continue to trust You with each new day. Where else would I go, but to You? You alone are the One true God...full of love and goodness.
Your daughter,
Lisa
Psalm 86:10,12 For You are great and do marvelous deeds; You alone are God. I will praise You, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify Your Name forever.
Monday, June 11, 2012
A Birthday, Wedding and Picnic
About two weeks ago was Memorial Day Weekend and there was a lot going on at our house! The Wednesday before that weekend I celebrated my 55th birthday. Hooray!!! That day some dear girlfriends took me out to lunch and we had a lovely time together. Then that night Tom and I, plus Mary and a friend, all went to Little Rock for a one night getaway. We had dinner at a nice place called YaYa's and then did some shopping. (Yes, Tom is a WONDERFUL husband to take three girls out to shop!) We spent the night in LR, then came back the next day. I also had lots of cards and a fun package in the mail from my sisters, another package from my parents, plus a few long distance calls that were all special. Great birthday!
Then the weekend rolled around. It was time to celebrate a wedding! Our sweet friend, Kari, who had been living with us for a few months, was getting married that Saturday night. We've had the joy of watching the wedding plans unfold day by day. Then, finally, the day came! Our two older children came to town for the wedding, so that was SO wonderful having them around for the weekend. Plus, lots of Kari's friends are our friends as well, and lots of them had traveled a long way to be a part of the wedding. It felt sort of like a reunion. We were very happy to get to see so many precious friends. The wedding was a beautiful occasion...very joy-filled and God centered. Great wedding!
The day before the wedding we attended a Memorial Day picnic at the senior facility that my mother-in-law lives at here in Searcy. She has been so weak over the past few weeks (since her fall in March) that we were not sure that she would be able to get outside for this traditional family time at Harding Place. But she did make it, and our whole family was there to celebrate with her. Great picnic!
Finally, all the festivities were over and the day after Memorial Day, that Tuesday, I went in for my 4th treatment. Nothing eventful, just went straight to the chemo room and sat down. The treatment went fine. A couple of days later I started feeling the nausea and some pain. But by Friday afternoon, the yukky symptoms had lifted and I was able to go out that evening with some friends and actually have a nice supper in Little Rock. Yay God! The following week was good...I felt stronger and better as each day passed.
And now...treatment time is back again. It's Monday. I had my "I don't want to go tomorrow" feelings last night. It's the Sunday night syndrome. But...in reality...I DO want to go because I am believing that the Lord is using this treatment to heal me. I will see the doctor today and, hopefully, she will give me an idea of when we will do scans to "see" inside my body at the progress of the medicine.
Prayers for today? That my visit with the doctor will be led by the Holy Spirit, every word and decision directed by God. That the treatment will go well today. That the post-treatment symptoms will not even come...nausea, pain and overall just feeling bad. Most of all...that the medicines will do what we hope they are doing...to heal me of cancer.
My job? To trust in God and walk with Him through the day, believing He has my life in His loving hands. I do trust Him. And I do believe His hands are loving and good. I believe that He has allowed this to come to me, because "all things work for the good for those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose". (Romans 8:28) I do love Him, with all my heart. And so... I believe that whatever happens to me will be "for the good".
Oh God,
Thank You for this day...yes, even this day...when I know I have to sit down and get chemo in my veins and face this disease with a battle-mind, fighting with determination. Thank You for this day...and every day that You give to me as a gift. I will rejoice in this day. You have always been faithful to stay with me, to hold me up and give me strength minute by minute, hour by hour. I cannot live without You, dear God. Please bless each hour of this day, to Your glory. And bless my family, always Lord, in the steps they are walking in today. I love You.
Forever Yours,
Lisa
Then the weekend rolled around. It was time to celebrate a wedding! Our sweet friend, Kari, who had been living with us for a few months, was getting married that Saturday night. We've had the joy of watching the wedding plans unfold day by day. Then, finally, the day came! Our two older children came to town for the wedding, so that was SO wonderful having them around for the weekend. Plus, lots of Kari's friends are our friends as well, and lots of them had traveled a long way to be a part of the wedding. It felt sort of like a reunion. We were very happy to get to see so many precious friends. The wedding was a beautiful occasion...very joy-filled and God centered. Great wedding!
The day before the wedding we attended a Memorial Day picnic at the senior facility that my mother-in-law lives at here in Searcy. She has been so weak over the past few weeks (since her fall in March) that we were not sure that she would be able to get outside for this traditional family time at Harding Place. But she did make it, and our whole family was there to celebrate with her. Great picnic!
Finally, all the festivities were over and the day after Memorial Day, that Tuesday, I went in for my 4th treatment. Nothing eventful, just went straight to the chemo room and sat down. The treatment went fine. A couple of days later I started feeling the nausea and some pain. But by Friday afternoon, the yukky symptoms had lifted and I was able to go out that evening with some friends and actually have a nice supper in Little Rock. Yay God! The following week was good...I felt stronger and better as each day passed.
And now...treatment time is back again. It's Monday. I had my "I don't want to go tomorrow" feelings last night. It's the Sunday night syndrome. But...in reality...I DO want to go because I am believing that the Lord is using this treatment to heal me. I will see the doctor today and, hopefully, she will give me an idea of when we will do scans to "see" inside my body at the progress of the medicine.
Prayers for today? That my visit with the doctor will be led by the Holy Spirit, every word and decision directed by God. That the treatment will go well today. That the post-treatment symptoms will not even come...nausea, pain and overall just feeling bad. Most of all...that the medicines will do what we hope they are doing...to heal me of cancer.
My job? To trust in God and walk with Him through the day, believing He has my life in His loving hands. I do trust Him. And I do believe His hands are loving and good. I believe that He has allowed this to come to me, because "all things work for the good for those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose". (Romans 8:28) I do love Him, with all my heart. And so... I believe that whatever happens to me will be "for the good".
Oh God,
Thank You for this day...yes, even this day...when I know I have to sit down and get chemo in my veins and face this disease with a battle-mind, fighting with determination. Thank You for this day...and every day that You give to me as a gift. I will rejoice in this day. You have always been faithful to stay with me, to hold me up and give me strength minute by minute, hour by hour. I cannot live without You, dear God. Please bless each hour of this day, to Your glory. And bless my family, always Lord, in the steps they are walking in today. I love You.
Forever Yours,
Lisa
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
3rd Treatment...good news!
Monday Tom and I went to talk to the doctor and for me to get my third treatment. We had some things we wanted to discuss with her, and we felt like the appointment went very well. She changed or adjusted some of my meds, which were good changes. I asked her how she is monitoring the progress right now and when would we do the next scans. She said that it was too early to do scans at this point. It wouldn't show progress yet from the treatments. She wanted to do a few more treatments (maybe 4) then we would schedule the scans. In the meantime, she's looking at 3 lab tests for monitoring the progress. One is my calcium level and the other two are tumor marker blood tests.
After seeing the doctor, I went in for the chemo treatment. In the middle of treatment the nurse came to see me and she had gotten back lab results already. My calcium was normal AGAIN (Yay!!!) and both of the tumor marker blood tests showed improvement! The numbers had gone down significantly since the last time they checked. That all translates to believing that the chemo is doing what we want it to do...halting the growth of cancer. That is GREAT news!!! Thank You, God, so much!!!
Still, I would really like to see the scans to know for sure what is going on inside, but these tests are signs of good progress. SO...I'm very thankful for the results!
In the meantime, the treatments are still physical hurdles in this race. Each time I have treatment, Monday is very good because I receive 3 pre-medications that included steroids. So, that first day I have lots of energy that is not my normal level. This Monday... I actually got on a bicycle and rode a short distance that afternoon with our son Jamie jogging next to me. :-) That was so fun! It felt really great to do something like that! But the next day and today the steroids had faded and I was moving slow again, feeling pain again. This seems to be the pattern. But also... the post chemo effects usually get better each day away from treatment. So tomorrow should be better than today. That's good. That's what I'm hoping.
Prayer requests...mostly the same. For our whole family to be filled with peace and strength from Jesus. For the treatments to kill the cancer and for my body to be healed . For my appetite to improve. And for the pain to lessen as my body is restored with healing.
O God,
Thank You so much for the great lab results! I am grateful, completely praising You for this good news!
Thank You for holding me up day by day, hour by hour. I am trusting You, Father, with everything...medicines, emotions, pain, food, sleep...all of it, I am leaning on You for each day. I praise You and thank You for sending family and friends to lift our family up. It is life giving manna. Thank You. With a grateful heart and all my love,
Lisa
After seeing the doctor, I went in for the chemo treatment. In the middle of treatment the nurse came to see me and she had gotten back lab results already. My calcium was normal AGAIN (Yay!!!) and both of the tumor marker blood tests showed improvement! The numbers had gone down significantly since the last time they checked. That all translates to believing that the chemo is doing what we want it to do...halting the growth of cancer. That is GREAT news!!! Thank You, God, so much!!!
Still, I would really like to see the scans to know for sure what is going on inside, but these tests are signs of good progress. SO...I'm very thankful for the results!
In the meantime, the treatments are still physical hurdles in this race. Each time I have treatment, Monday is very good because I receive 3 pre-medications that included steroids. So, that first day I have lots of energy that is not my normal level. This Monday... I actually got on a bicycle and rode a short distance that afternoon with our son Jamie jogging next to me. :-) That was so fun! It felt really great to do something like that! But the next day and today the steroids had faded and I was moving slow again, feeling pain again. This seems to be the pattern. But also... the post chemo effects usually get better each day away from treatment. So tomorrow should be better than today. That's good. That's what I'm hoping.
Prayer requests...mostly the same. For our whole family to be filled with peace and strength from Jesus. For the treatments to kill the cancer and for my body to be healed . For my appetite to improve. And for the pain to lessen as my body is restored with healing.
O God,
Thank You so much for the great lab results! I am grateful, completely praising You for this good news!
Thank You for holding me up day by day, hour by hour. I am trusting You, Father, with everything...medicines, emotions, pain, food, sleep...all of it, I am leaning on You for each day. I praise You and thank You for sending family and friends to lift our family up. It is life giving manna. Thank You. With a grateful heart and all my love,
Lisa
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Walking by faith
It's been 2 weeks since I have written. I had just received my second treatment that Monday.
I did fine on Tuesday...had lots of energy. I started doing things around the house that I don't usually have the energy to do...simple chores. I was so happy to be getting around so well. But on Wednesday, I woke up having a hard time. Physically hurting and emotionally down. I remembered that on Monday they give steroids with the chemo and that is why on Tuesday I felt so strong and able to do things. But the steroid buzz was gone on Wednesday and I had to deal with all the "stuff"...hurting and emotions.
I'd like to say that I rebounded on Thursday but the last two weeks have been up and down. Really, I just read my last blog, and it is the same thing. Good days and not so good days.
I go on Monday to see my oncologist. They will check some of my blood work...my CBC, the calcium and a tumor marker test. The real question is "Is the chemo working?" and I don't think they can really tell unless they do a scan. So I guess I will find out Monday if she is scheduling a scan.
I don't know "if it's working". I am trying to walk by faith, believing that the chemo is killing the cancer, believing when I cannot see. That's hard.
If I keep my eyes focused on the things that I "feel"...my physical symptoms and emotions...then I am not focused on the Hope of Jesus Christ and what I see in the Word of God. Please pray for my eyes to stay on Jesus and to hear and take in the Scriptures in my heart. Please continue to pray for healing. Please pray for strength in my mind to counter the discouraging thoughts that come and go in my mind. I want to fight. I don't want to give up. I can ONLY do that with God's strength. And please...continue to pray for my husband and our children. It is a lot to carry day by day. I love them so much and want them to be filled with God's hope and strength. Thank you again for your faithfulness to pray for all of us!
I did fine on Tuesday...had lots of energy. I started doing things around the house that I don't usually have the energy to do...simple chores. I was so happy to be getting around so well. But on Wednesday, I woke up having a hard time. Physically hurting and emotionally down. I remembered that on Monday they give steroids with the chemo and that is why on Tuesday I felt so strong and able to do things. But the steroid buzz was gone on Wednesday and I had to deal with all the "stuff"...hurting and emotions.
I'd like to say that I rebounded on Thursday but the last two weeks have been up and down. Really, I just read my last blog, and it is the same thing. Good days and not so good days.
I go on Monday to see my oncologist. They will check some of my blood work...my CBC, the calcium and a tumor marker test. The real question is "Is the chemo working?" and I don't think they can really tell unless they do a scan. So I guess I will find out Monday if she is scheduling a scan.
I don't know "if it's working". I am trying to walk by faith, believing that the chemo is killing the cancer, believing when I cannot see. That's hard.
If I keep my eyes focused on the things that I "feel"...my physical symptoms and emotions...then I am not focused on the Hope of Jesus Christ and what I see in the Word of God. Please pray for my eyes to stay on Jesus and to hear and take in the Scriptures in my heart. Please continue to pray for healing. Please pray for strength in my mind to counter the discouraging thoughts that come and go in my mind. I want to fight. I don't want to give up. I can ONLY do that with God's strength. And please...continue to pray for my husband and our children. It is a lot to carry day by day. I love them so much and want them to be filled with God's hope and strength. Thank you again for your faithfulness to pray for all of us!
Monday, April 30, 2012
Second Treatment
Today I went in for the second treatment of chemo. My first stop in the office is always to go to the lab so they can draw some blood. That stop was MUCH easier today because they used my new port...yay! (I had a port put in one week ago.) They accessed the port, got the blood for the lab work, then I walked into the chemo room. Usually they have to find another vein other than the lab, which is not fun. But TODAY...no problems. She started the process right away. My nurse and I were both happy! :-) Thank You, God! I started around 11 am and finished up about 2 pm. It sounds super long but I bring things to do and really, the time goes by quickly, which I'm thankful for! I was feeling kind of down on the ride there, but once I got there the Lord really took care of me and lifted my heart. I felt hope and peace the whole time I sat there.
I want to back up a little about last week. I haven't really had physical side effects that I've noticed are new...from the chemo. I still deal with pain and take meds for that. I've done much better about food and nausea. Today they gave me some lab results, the basic CBC counts. They were a little low but not low enough that I had to have some shots that they give when your white blood count goes down. I'm thankful for that. I should hear about the calcium tomorrow.
But last week I did struggle with emotional ups and downs. When I get "down", the tears come quickly and my thoughts slide into discouragement. I don't want to do that...and I do lots of things to make the shift. I get help from reading the Word, listening to praise and worship music, calling people to pray with me and especially talking to my husband and friends. And, of course, all the encouragement that comes to me in all different forms...emails, letters, FB, etc. The Lord uses all kinds of things to help me everyday. I know so well the Scripture from 2 Corinthians 10:5 that says "take every thought captive". It's just hard. I think the emotional struggle last week was a combination of the side effects of the pain medicine and some things that were going on. My sister Judy is doing better from her car accident...thanks for praying for her. My mother-in-law had a very difficult week last week, and we are all concerned about her. She did leave the hospital on Friday and went back to her apartment. We were all thankful that she was "home" again, although there are still big medical issues we continue to pray about. Both of them have been on my heart and in my mind. Also, a young man that attended our church passed away on Friday. He was 23 years old and died of cancer. So heartbreaking. I did not know him, but our whole church had been praying for his healing...which did not come here on earth. Now he is Home with Jesus and healed.
God has been SO faithful to hold me up and love me in this valley. I want to focus on His goodness and love...not the suffering or difficulties. My prayer requests continue to be that I would be healed...that this treatment would stop the growth of cancer completely. I continue to ask for prayers to cover my family... my precious husband, who does so much to bless and care for me, and our wonderful children as they deal with this issue each day. Please pray for my emotions to stay up. I need to stay hope-filled to continue fighting and I know that only God can fill me up with His Hope. He has done it over and over again. That's what I want to remember and write on my heart. Thank you SO much for your prayers! We are leaning on them each and everyday.
O God,
THANK YOU...for being with me today. You lifted my heart. You took me through each hour with Your tender love. You ARE Love....and I'm thankful. I thank You for all the prayer warriors that cover our family with their prayers and support. I thank You for this medicine ....and I will thank You even now for the healing it is doing. I trust in You, O God. Whatever each day brings...I will continue to love You and trust You. I will praise Your Name always and forever. Goodnight, Father. Thank You for being the God Who doesn't sleep...but watches over Your children all night.
In the Name that has saved me,
the Name that is my Friend,
the Name that brings joy to my heart because
He is my everything....
Jesus.
Amen.
I want to back up a little about last week. I haven't really had physical side effects that I've noticed are new...from the chemo. I still deal with pain and take meds for that. I've done much better about food and nausea. Today they gave me some lab results, the basic CBC counts. They were a little low but not low enough that I had to have some shots that they give when your white blood count goes down. I'm thankful for that. I should hear about the calcium tomorrow.
But last week I did struggle with emotional ups and downs. When I get "down", the tears come quickly and my thoughts slide into discouragement. I don't want to do that...and I do lots of things to make the shift. I get help from reading the Word, listening to praise and worship music, calling people to pray with me and especially talking to my husband and friends. And, of course, all the encouragement that comes to me in all different forms...emails, letters, FB, etc. The Lord uses all kinds of things to help me everyday. I know so well the Scripture from 2 Corinthians 10:5 that says "take every thought captive". It's just hard. I think the emotional struggle last week was a combination of the side effects of the pain medicine and some things that were going on. My sister Judy is doing better from her car accident...thanks for praying for her. My mother-in-law had a very difficult week last week, and we are all concerned about her. She did leave the hospital on Friday and went back to her apartment. We were all thankful that she was "home" again, although there are still big medical issues we continue to pray about. Both of them have been on my heart and in my mind. Also, a young man that attended our church passed away on Friday. He was 23 years old and died of cancer. So heartbreaking. I did not know him, but our whole church had been praying for his healing...which did not come here on earth. Now he is Home with Jesus and healed.
God has been SO faithful to hold me up and love me in this valley. I want to focus on His goodness and love...not the suffering or difficulties. My prayer requests continue to be that I would be healed...that this treatment would stop the growth of cancer completely. I continue to ask for prayers to cover my family... my precious husband, who does so much to bless and care for me, and our wonderful children as they deal with this issue each day. Please pray for my emotions to stay up. I need to stay hope-filled to continue fighting and I know that only God can fill me up with His Hope. He has done it over and over again. That's what I want to remember and write on my heart. Thank you SO much for your prayers! We are leaning on them each and everyday.
O God,
THANK YOU...for being with me today. You lifted my heart. You took me through each hour with Your tender love. You ARE Love....and I'm thankful. I thank You for all the prayer warriors that cover our family with their prayers and support. I thank You for this medicine ....and I will thank You even now for the healing it is doing. I trust in You, O God. Whatever each day brings...I will continue to love You and trust You. I will praise Your Name always and forever. Goodnight, Father. Thank You for being the God Who doesn't sleep...but watches over Your children all night.
In the Name that has saved me,
the Name that is my Friend,
the Name that brings joy to my heart because
He is my everything....
Jesus.
Amen.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Normal
This has been a wonderful, wonderful day!!!
Tom and I went to LR this morning for the outpatient surgery. All went well. My surgeon was going to put in a regular small port, a standard size for women. But then she suggested a different port called a Power Port that can be used for other situations besides getting chemo, like scans, etc. We said "Sure!" So I got a Power Port. (Doesn't that sound like I have superpowers or something? ha.) After the surgery and recovery, Tom took me upstairs to my oncologist's office to get lab drawn to check on my calcium. After that...home sweet home. We were home by noon.
And then...and then...(woohoo) got a call from my oncology nurse. She said "CALCIUM IS NORMAL. It is at 10." WOOHOO!!! Great news. That is SO, SO awesome! We are thanking God for this great news!!! SO THANKFUL!!!
O God, Thank You Lord! Thank You. You took me through this morning's procedure and then surprised me with this news. Normal. Yay...that's so wonderful. God...to You I give the glory and praise. THANK YOU. I continue to look to You, O God, as my Healer and Friend. I love You. Thank You. In Jesus Name I rejoice, Amen.
"I will sing of the LORD's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations. I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself." Psalm 89:1,2
O God, Thank You Lord! Thank You. You took me through this morning's procedure and then surprised me with this news. Normal. Yay...that's so wonderful. God...to You I give the glory and praise. THANK YOU. I continue to look to You, O God, as my Healer and Friend. I love You. Thank You. In Jesus Name I rejoice, Amen.
"I will sing of the LORD's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations. I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself." Psalm 89:1,2
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Thankful Heart
This past week has been a very good week. I got the chemo treatments last Monday and asked for prayers that I would not have side effects or difficulty with the new treatment. God REALLY blessed me and answered our prayers.
I really could not tell any big difference in my physical symptoms all week. That is a huge praise! Thank You God! YAY...Lots of thanksgiving this past week to Him.
This is a short post, as I need to get to bed...but tomorrow morning I will go for the outpatient surgery to get a port put in. Early surgery time...8 am. Please pray for the whole procedure to go well. Please pray that God would be with the doctor and nurses, with me, that there would be no problems or complications. I'm just trusting God to take care of it through their hands and gifts as medical professionals. He is so good and faithful.
Thanks so much again for all your love and prayers!
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Peace and Hope
Yesterday, Monday the 16th, was really a good day! I KNOW it was God's presence carrying me through, and I KNOW that was from answered prayers from so many loved ones. Let me right away say thank you!
Tom brought me, which I am always thankful for his loving presence and that we do this together. He is amazing! First, they took a lab sample to check the calcium. Then, we talked to my oncologist. She reviewed what we were doing today...starting Avastin and Gemzar. I will receive these 2 drugs every 2 weeks, plus still Zometa once a month. They will monitor this closely with lab work and if she sees problems, she will change it to once a week. So I go again in 2 weeks for chemo.
She told me that the lung procedure last week showed NO cancer in the fluids!!! This was great news ! All the tests were negative. YAY GOD!!! We were very grateful to hear that news!
She decided to phase out the oral steroid and to stop the nosespray again. These were being taken for the calcium level but she said we wanted to stop for now. I did find out today (Tues) that the calcium had gone up again...from 12.6 to 12.7. This really needs to come down...so please pray about that. I'm trying not to focus on that...but just trust God and praise Him for all the good we are seeing!
We discussed getting my port (IV access thing..."thing" is the medical term, I believe.):-) I now have an appointment for this coming Monday, April 23 early at 8 am. Another thing to pray about... :-)
Then...I started my treatment about noon. It really went fine. I'm thankful for the team of nurses in that room. I've been going there now, on and off, since 2006, so they know me, care about me. Wonderful women. It is really a blessing to have such great medical team. I got done in about 3 hours and we headed home!
They did discuss some possible side effects, like nosebleeds, high blood pressure, my blood counts could go down, etc. but I am asking you all to pray against that. We are praying for no side effects, just healing!
Today I've felt really about the same as a typical day for me. I'm walking around at home, doing things, sitting down to rest when I need it. The Lord is here...walking around with me...and I am so thankful. My heart is filled with peace and hope...which is from Him, not me.
That's what I want to do.
God,
Thank You for all Your love and mercy. Thanks for yesterday, taking care of details and even decisions. Thank You that today has been restful and good...thank You. I praise Your glorious Name and I trust You with all these things. To Your glory and praise...Father, Jesus and Spirit.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Tom brought me, which I am always thankful for his loving presence and that we do this together. He is amazing! First, they took a lab sample to check the calcium. Then, we talked to my oncologist. She reviewed what we were doing today...starting Avastin and Gemzar. I will receive these 2 drugs every 2 weeks, plus still Zometa once a month. They will monitor this closely with lab work and if she sees problems, she will change it to once a week. So I go again in 2 weeks for chemo.
She told me that the lung procedure last week showed NO cancer in the fluids!!! This was great news ! All the tests were negative. YAY GOD!!! We were very grateful to hear that news!
She decided to phase out the oral steroid and to stop the nosespray again. These were being taken for the calcium level but she said we wanted to stop for now. I did find out today (Tues) that the calcium had gone up again...from 12.6 to 12.7. This really needs to come down...so please pray about that. I'm trying not to focus on that...but just trust God and praise Him for all the good we are seeing!
We discussed getting my port (IV access thing..."thing" is the medical term, I believe.):-) I now have an appointment for this coming Monday, April 23 early at 8 am. Another thing to pray about... :-)
Then...I started my treatment about noon. It really went fine. I'm thankful for the team of nurses in that room. I've been going there now, on and off, since 2006, so they know me, care about me. Wonderful women. It is really a blessing to have such great medical team. I got done in about 3 hours and we headed home!
They did discuss some possible side effects, like nosebleeds, high blood pressure, my blood counts could go down, etc. but I am asking you all to pray against that. We are praying for no side effects, just healing!
Today I've felt really about the same as a typical day for me. I'm walking around at home, doing things, sitting down to rest when I need it. The Lord is here...walking around with me...and I am so thankful. My heart is filled with peace and hope...which is from Him, not me.
"Rejoice always,
Pray constantly,
Give thanks in all circumstances...
for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
That's what I want to do.
God,
Thank You for all Your love and mercy. Thanks for yesterday, taking care of details and even decisions. Thank You that today has been restful and good...thank You. I praise Your glorious Name and I trust You with all these things. To Your glory and praise...Father, Jesus and Spirit.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Waiting in Hope
Friday morning I went in at 7:45 am. They wanted me to come early so I could get results back that morning. They took the sample then my friend Wilma and I went to Target while the lab was testing. I shopped in the go-cart buggy :-)...which is kind of fun to shop like that. Found a few things I'd been needing.
They called me while I was shopping and said that the calcium stayed the same. Not what I was hoping but thank You God that it didn't go up. I went back and got one bag of fluids and then I was done by 11:30 am !!!
The biggest news really of all this past week is that I will go in Monday morning at 10 am for a "see the doctor" appt. and then I will begin chemo. This is the sit down, IV chemo...NOT the oral chemo I've mentioned before. I'm glad this is what we are doing AND I'm ready. I want to get something in my blood that will jump in and fight a new way....so it's good. The meds are Avastin and Gemzar. The Avastin cuts off food supply to cancer cells and the Gemzar goes into the bloodstream to destroy the cancer cells. Our prayers are that they target the bad and that God will protect the rest of my body cells. I probably will get a port put in next week so that they are not accessing my veins every time with my arms. It is hard on the veins and hard on me to keep getting "accessed" so getting the port is a good idea. I had one in 2006, then had it removed about 3 years later. Another thing I'd rather not do, but I want to fight with all the tools that are available, and the port is kind of like another tool for me personally.
All weekend the Lord has POURED his manna out to our family. He is so, so sweet. Thursday dear friends from Nigeria stopped by to bless and encourage us. Friday I had beautiful flowers to arrive, a friend to visit, calls and cards. Saturday some dear friends from Tennessee, (Wally and Brenda for those of you who know them) stopped by on their way home from Branson and that was a sweet gift. Our Betsy was here this weekend and I'm always grateful to hold my "far away babies". :-) Food brought by, some help with laundry, birds and critters playing in the yard just to delight my eyes. God is EVER faithful to lift our hearts! I praise Him and give Him my thanks all day.
A friend sent these verses recently...thought I'd share them.
God,
All praise to You. In this valley I continue to lift up my eyes....no...YOU lift up my eyes and my heart day by day. Thank You O God! I'm ready to go Monday for I know I will not be alone. Your Presence is ever in me and with me. I am not alone also Lord because of so many that are praying and going beside me. Thank You, thank You!
My hope is in You. It is not in these medicines. You may use them, O God. But You are the Healer. You alone are my Healer and Friend and Rescuer. I trust You with this day and with my days ahead. May ALL praise and glory be Yours.
In the Name that is sweet and ALL powerful,
Jesus Christ. Amen.
They called me while I was shopping and said that the calcium stayed the same. Not what I was hoping but thank You God that it didn't go up. I went back and got one bag of fluids and then I was done by 11:30 am !!!
The biggest news really of all this past week is that I will go in Monday morning at 10 am for a "see the doctor" appt. and then I will begin chemo. This is the sit down, IV chemo...NOT the oral chemo I've mentioned before. I'm glad this is what we are doing AND I'm ready. I want to get something in my blood that will jump in and fight a new way....so it's good. The meds are Avastin and Gemzar. The Avastin cuts off food supply to cancer cells and the Gemzar goes into the bloodstream to destroy the cancer cells. Our prayers are that they target the bad and that God will protect the rest of my body cells. I probably will get a port put in next week so that they are not accessing my veins every time with my arms. It is hard on the veins and hard on me to keep getting "accessed" so getting the port is a good idea. I had one in 2006, then had it removed about 3 years later. Another thing I'd rather not do, but I want to fight with all the tools that are available, and the port is kind of like another tool for me personally.
All weekend the Lord has POURED his manna out to our family. He is so, so sweet. Thursday dear friends from Nigeria stopped by to bless and encourage us. Friday I had beautiful flowers to arrive, a friend to visit, calls and cards. Saturday some dear friends from Tennessee, (Wally and Brenda for those of you who know them) stopped by on their way home from Branson and that was a sweet gift. Our Betsy was here this weekend and I'm always grateful to hold my "far away babies". :-) Food brought by, some help with laundry, birds and critters playing in the yard just to delight my eyes. God is EVER faithful to lift our hearts! I praise Him and give Him my thanks all day.
A friend sent these verses recently...thought I'd share them.
In Him (God) we live and move and have our being.
Acts 17:28
We wait in hope for the Lord;
He is our help and our shield.
In Him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in His holy Name.
May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord,
even as we put our hope in You.
Psalm 33:20-22
God,
All praise to You. In this valley I continue to lift up my eyes....no...YOU lift up my eyes and my heart day by day. Thank You O God! I'm ready to go Monday for I know I will not be alone. Your Presence is ever in me and with me. I am not alone also Lord because of so many that are praying and going beside me. Thank You, thank You!
My hope is in You. It is not in these medicines. You may use them, O God. But You are the Healer. You alone are my Healer and Friend and Rescuer. I trust You with this day and with my days ahead. May ALL praise and glory be Yours.
In the Name that is sweet and ALL powerful,
Jesus Christ. Amen.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Thursday Morning
Well, a lot happened yesterday when I went to get the fluids. Sat down in the recliner. Didn't have to get my IV put in because they had saved it from Tuesday. (An IV can be used 3 days in a row. They just wrap it up carefully and I go home with it there. I will use it again today.) I was set up with one liter bag of fluids.
But half way through my onc.nurse came and said "let's talk". First, my calcium went up from 12.3 to 12.6. So my dr. ordered another bag for right then. Okay. She also wanted me to start the nosespray and the prednisone again. I said I'm fine with the nosespray but I really, really did not want to get on prednisone again. I asked if I could use Decadron. She later went and asked the dr. and she approved the Decadron. YAY. The other big thing she brought is was a change in the chemo plan. There is a drug called Avaston she wants to use but if we start with Xeloda, the oral drug, our insurance will not pay for it after I already used Xeloda. So she wants to start with Avaston and another chemo called Gemzar, both drugs given by IV. That is fine with me. I was hesitant about Xeloda and its side effects so I am ready to start this other plan.
I spoke this morning with the doctor in Nashville. He thought is all sounded like a great plan. I loved getting to talk to him this morning just to hear his "blessing" on it before we tell my doctor yes, let not do Xeloda and go with the other.
SO...I go in today for 2 bags of fluid. One of my sweet college girlfriends is going to take me today. She had called early in week to ask me how she could help and that she had Thursday open. It worked out perfect, because I needed a ride. God is so good.
Gotta go. Keep praying for the calcium to come down! I love you all so much. God continues to renew my heart day by day. I woke up this morning with lots of hope! Praise God!!!
But half way through my onc.nurse came and said "let's talk". First, my calcium went up from 12.3 to 12.6. So my dr. ordered another bag for right then. Okay. She also wanted me to start the nosespray and the prednisone again. I said I'm fine with the nosespray but I really, really did not want to get on prednisone again. I asked if I could use Decadron. She later went and asked the dr. and she approved the Decadron. YAY. The other big thing she brought is was a change in the chemo plan. There is a drug called Avaston she wants to use but if we start with Xeloda, the oral drug, our insurance will not pay for it after I already used Xeloda. So she wants to start with Avaston and another chemo called Gemzar, both drugs given by IV. That is fine with me. I was hesitant about Xeloda and its side effects so I am ready to start this other plan.
I spoke this morning with the doctor in Nashville. He thought is all sounded like a great plan. I loved getting to talk to him this morning just to hear his "blessing" on it before we tell my doctor yes, let not do Xeloda and go with the other.
SO...I go in today for 2 bags of fluid. One of my sweet college girlfriends is going to take me today. She had called early in week to ask me how she could help and that she had Thursday open. It worked out perfect, because I needed a ride. God is so good.
Gotta go. Keep praying for the calcium to come down! I love you all so much. God continues to renew my heart day by day. I woke up this morning with lots of hope! Praise God!!!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Wednesday
Quick update...
Yesterday my doctor's office called and said the my calcium was down (YAY!) from 13.6 to 12.3. They wanted me to come for more fluids. SO, since we were going to LR for the lung drainage thing I went ahead and got fluids in the morning. Then about 2 Tom and I went to the hospital and they took a needle and drained the fluid around my left lung. I thought I would be out...but I wasn't. They numbed it locally and I sat there awake through the procedure. Not so fun, but Jesus was in the room. The blessing (God is so good to take care of us) is that our post op nurse was someone who knows our two oldest children well and went to Harding with them. Her name was Laura and she was so sweet and attentive to me and to Tom!
I go back this morning for more fluids. One bag takes 2 hours. They will also get blood to see how the calcium is doing.
Gotta get going, but wanted you to hear the calcium was coming down. THANK YOU for your continued hope and loving prayers!
Yesterday my doctor's office called and said the my calcium was down (YAY!) from 13.6 to 12.3. They wanted me to come for more fluids. SO, since we were going to LR for the lung drainage thing I went ahead and got fluids in the morning. Then about 2 Tom and I went to the hospital and they took a needle and drained the fluid around my left lung. I thought I would be out...but I wasn't. They numbed it locally and I sat there awake through the procedure. Not so fun, but Jesus was in the room. The blessing (God is so good to take care of us) is that our post op nurse was someone who knows our two oldest children well and went to Harding with them. Her name was Laura and she was so sweet and attentive to me and to Tom!
I go back this morning for more fluids. One bag takes 2 hours. They will also get blood to see how the calcium is doing.
Gotta get going, but wanted you to hear the calcium was coming down. THANK YOU for your continued hope and loving prayers!
Monday, April 9, 2012
Out Patient surgery
Today I went in to Little Rock to get IV fluids. I haven't heard the results about the calcium levels yet. (They took blood today to check.)
Tomorrow...is out patient surgery day. They saw some fluid near one of my lungs on the PET scan. My doctor said it could be a lot of different things, but cancer is one of them. SO...they want to check and just be sure about what is going on there.
It is at 2:00 pm. They will put a large needle into my back to get a sample. (Yes, I'm hoping I'm sedated for all this.)
Today I also talked to someone about the Xeloda oral chemo, a social worker who works in my oncologist's office. They special ordered it and it may possibly arrive in the next couple of days. Which means I will probably start it this week. I take 3 pills a day for 7 days and then I'm off for 7 days. Then I start the cycle again.
That's about it for tonight. Tired again. Tired.
Thank you all for being tireless prayer warriors. I am so grateful!
Jesus,
Thank You for today...for walking me through it. I love You. Again ..I trust You.
I give You praise for holding me up for another day.
In Your Powerful and Sweet Name,
Lisa
Tomorrow...is out patient surgery day. They saw some fluid near one of my lungs on the PET scan. My doctor said it could be a lot of different things, but cancer is one of them. SO...they want to check and just be sure about what is going on there.
It is at 2:00 pm. They will put a large needle into my back to get a sample. (Yes, I'm hoping I'm sedated for all this.)
Today I also talked to someone about the Xeloda oral chemo, a social worker who works in my oncologist's office. They special ordered it and it may possibly arrive in the next couple of days. Which means I will probably start it this week. I take 3 pills a day for 7 days and then I'm off for 7 days. Then I start the cycle again.
That's about it for tonight. Tired again. Tired.
Thank you all for being tireless prayer warriors. I am so grateful!
Jesus,
Thank You for today...for walking me through it. I love You. Again ..I trust You.
I give You praise for holding me up for another day.
In Your Powerful and Sweet Name,
Lisa
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Renewed Hope
Since Thursday and the heavy news of that day, God has been working in my mind, heart, body and soul. I grieved on and off throughout Thursday until the last task of putting my head on my pillow. But "His mercies are new EVERY morning"...Thank You O God!!! I DID wake up with a different outlook. The spirit of heaviness was sent away by The Spirit of God, which I feel was an answer to many prayers. I had a good day.
Because my calcium spiked again (13.6) they wanted me to get the fluids again. Three sticks for the IV and 3 hours later...I was out of there and back in the sunshine. The day went on to include some sweet visitors in the afternoon. One was a family from our church that stopped by to give us a lovely Easter bunny cake that their granddaughter had made. (Thanks Bailey!) Our daughter Betsy came in that night for the weekend. I made it through the day feeling renewed Hope.
Today...Saturday...has been good too. Had a few more visitors that brought encouragement on their visit. A few teary moments have broken through but they didn't stay. I am trying to take myself back to the place I've been standing on since I was diagnosed in 2006.
"All things are possible to him who believes." Mark 9:23
Jesus looked at them and said "With men it is impossible, but not with God, for all things are possible with God." Mark 10:27
"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it already, and it will be yours." Mark 11:24
Father,
Thank You for another day of life. Tonight I am tired and I look forward to the morning when hope returns and Your mercy and love restore me one more time. You are so faithful and ever loving. Tomorrow...Oh, God...tomorrow...we celebrate the greatest joy of all...that Your Son rose from the grave and was fully resurrected! Thank You for what that means to us, Your children. Saved by the blood of the perfect Lamb, Jesus. Thank You! I love You.
Your daughter,
Lisa
Because my calcium spiked again (13.6) they wanted me to get the fluids again. Three sticks for the IV and 3 hours later...I was out of there and back in the sunshine. The day went on to include some sweet visitors in the afternoon. One was a family from our church that stopped by to give us a lovely Easter bunny cake that their granddaughter had made. (Thanks Bailey!) Our daughter Betsy came in that night for the weekend. I made it through the day feeling renewed Hope.
Today...Saturday...has been good too. Had a few more visitors that brought encouragement on their visit. A few teary moments have broken through but they didn't stay. I am trying to take myself back to the place I've been standing on since I was diagnosed in 2006.
"All things are possible to him who believes." Mark 9:23
Jesus looked at them and said "With men it is impossible, but not with God, for all things are possible with God." Mark 10:27
"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it already, and it will be yours." Mark 11:24
Father,
Thank You for another day of life. Tonight I am tired and I look forward to the morning when hope returns and Your mercy and love restore me one more time. You are so faithful and ever loving. Tomorrow...Oh, God...tomorrow...we celebrate the greatest joy of all...that Your Son rose from the grave and was fully resurrected! Thank You for what that means to us, Your children. Saved by the blood of the perfect Lamb, Jesus. Thank You! I love You.
Your daughter,
Lisa
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Hard Day
This has been a hard day.
Tom and I went to the doctor's appointment this morning to hear the results. The PET scan showed that the cancer has spread to new places. Progression. It has moved to my right ribs, right top humerus bone, some more spots in the T vertebrae and honestly, I can't remember every place right now because I was listening with a heavy heart. About 6 new places. All of it was in the bone, none in soft tissues like organs. They did see a pocket of fluid near a lung. She (my doctor) said that could be a lot of different possibilities, but she wanted to get a fluid extraction sample done to be sure it was not cancer. Also, I found out on the way home my calcium is up again...13 something. Didn't want to hear that.
Of course, we sat there ...sad. Not what I wanted to hear. The plan is to begin an oral chemo, Xeloda, that I take 7 days a week and then I'm off for 7 days. This plan was what the Vanderbilt doctor recommended and as well as what she recommends. She said that Xeloda is a very good drug for stopping the spread of cancer and they've seen lots of success with it. It has some rough side effects, but everyone reacts differently, so maybe I won't have them. I go in tomorrow and Monday for fluids to try to get the calcium down. The calcium is an indicator of the cancer, which I didn't really understand until today. When it goes down it means things have stabilized with cancer. Tuesday I will go for the outpatient surgery of drawing the fluid sample near my lung.
I have an wonderful oncologist. With tears falling off my face, she stopped and held my hand and just listened to my grieving words. She also spoke to me about spiritual things...(she's a Christian). She said "bottom line is we just don't get to know all the answers to our why questions, but to keep looking to God through the suffering." I agree.
She told me to stop the Femara (estrogen blocker) immediately and that we would continue to get the Zometa. The Xeloda has to be special ordered, so as soon as it's all approved then I'll start, which will be soon.
I left her office and went to the chemo room and sat down for the Zometa. It takes about 30 minutes. Tears flowed on and off for the whole 30 minutes. Then Tom and I got something to eat and headed home.
What can I say except this is not what I wanted or what I was praying for...or what so many others were praying for. I really don't understand. But... I know God loves me. I know He is not ignoring all this. I know He is good. And I know that I will love Him forever.
I don't know what the future holds. But...none of us really do. In Psalms 139 it says He knew the number of my days even before I was born. He knows that number. I do not. But I want that number to be large, to go into my old age.
My doctor made it clear that we were not at the end of our options at all. She talked about some other chemo treatments that were very good options. So,we are trying to renew our hearts and our minds and my body to get ready for another battle.
You know, the thing about faith is that it means believing for the unseen. I haven't seen what I have been believing for, healing, but it doesn't mean that it can't still come. It means it didn't happen like I thought it might happen. I am trying so hard to release my mind from trying to figure all of this out and just saying "I will trust Jesus". No matter what...I'm His.
O God,
The song "I Surrender All" is in my mind.
"I surrender all, I surrender all, all to Thee my blessed Savior, I surrender all."
I love You.
Please wipe away these tears so I can look at You better. I want to keep them on You.
Your child,
Lisa
Tom and I went to the doctor's appointment this morning to hear the results. The PET scan showed that the cancer has spread to new places. Progression. It has moved to my right ribs, right top humerus bone, some more spots in the T vertebrae and honestly, I can't remember every place right now because I was listening with a heavy heart. About 6 new places. All of it was in the bone, none in soft tissues like organs. They did see a pocket of fluid near a lung. She (my doctor) said that could be a lot of different possibilities, but she wanted to get a fluid extraction sample done to be sure it was not cancer. Also, I found out on the way home my calcium is up again...13 something. Didn't want to hear that.
Of course, we sat there ...sad. Not what I wanted to hear. The plan is to begin an oral chemo, Xeloda, that I take 7 days a week and then I'm off for 7 days. This plan was what the Vanderbilt doctor recommended and as well as what she recommends. She said that Xeloda is a very good drug for stopping the spread of cancer and they've seen lots of success with it. It has some rough side effects, but everyone reacts differently, so maybe I won't have them. I go in tomorrow and Monday for fluids to try to get the calcium down. The calcium is an indicator of the cancer, which I didn't really understand until today. When it goes down it means things have stabilized with cancer. Tuesday I will go for the outpatient surgery of drawing the fluid sample near my lung.
I have an wonderful oncologist. With tears falling off my face, she stopped and held my hand and just listened to my grieving words. She also spoke to me about spiritual things...(she's a Christian). She said "bottom line is we just don't get to know all the answers to our why questions, but to keep looking to God through the suffering." I agree.
She told me to stop the Femara (estrogen blocker) immediately and that we would continue to get the Zometa. The Xeloda has to be special ordered, so as soon as it's all approved then I'll start, which will be soon.
I left her office and went to the chemo room and sat down for the Zometa. It takes about 30 minutes. Tears flowed on and off for the whole 30 minutes. Then Tom and I got something to eat and headed home.
What can I say except this is not what I wanted or what I was praying for...or what so many others were praying for. I really don't understand. But... I know God loves me. I know He is not ignoring all this. I know He is good. And I know that I will love Him forever.
I don't know what the future holds. But...none of us really do. In Psalms 139 it says He knew the number of my days even before I was born. He knows that number. I do not. But I want that number to be large, to go into my old age.
My doctor made it clear that we were not at the end of our options at all. She talked about some other chemo treatments that were very good options. So,we are trying to renew our hearts and our minds and my body to get ready for another battle.
You know, the thing about faith is that it means believing for the unseen. I haven't seen what I have been believing for, healing, but it doesn't mean that it can't still come. It means it didn't happen like I thought it might happen. I am trying so hard to release my mind from trying to figure all of this out and just saying "I will trust Jesus". No matter what...I'm His.
O God,
The song "I Surrender All" is in my mind.
"I surrender all, I surrender all, all to Thee my blessed Savior, I surrender all."
I love You.
Please wipe away these tears so I can look at You better. I want to keep them on You.
Your child,
Lisa
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Scan Day yesterday
Yesterday I went in for the Petscan, got there about noon. I guess they were behind schedule from the start because the day ended up dragging out longer than I had expected. They had a hard time getting my IV started (4 sticks). Then the resting time, when I sit quietly as the meds circulate through my body. Then I had the scan. Finally got out about 3:30.
I was SO hungry because I'd been on a no carb diet for 24 hrs for the test and really, really had not eaten much at all. When we got out my friend that took me drove me to Whole Foods to get some light and healthy food into me - quickly! THAT was wonderful. Just grapes, some lettuce, avocado sushi and a smoothee. I didn't eat it all but had some of all it and felt revived! :-)
There was no report yesterday. I will hear something possibly late this afternoon or in the morning we will see the Dr. at about 9:30.
I'm in the waiting mode. I wrote a song about that from Psalm 130..."I will wait on you, Lord, my soul shall wait". (I would post it here but I haven't figured out how to post a song). Anyway...I'm waiting. There's lots of peace and some fear that wonders what's next. Trying to cancel the fear and keep my mind on hope.
Thank you for ALL your prayers. And I know that some of you also fasted about this...and I thank you for that. I am walking through each day with the Lord's strength sustaining me. I KNOW it is all these prayers...and that you pray for our whole family...THANK YOU. Also, my sister is doing a little better each day. She got a cast put on yesterday. She has a dr. appt Thursday about various changes to her health needs. My mother-in-law is getting a little stronger and may actually be going back to her home today. Please keep them in your prayers too. So many of you know them that I just wanted to ask for prayers for them. Both are precious women of God.
Lord,
We've been here before. I'm waiting. I will whisper to You throughout this day to please hold me. I can feel Your peace Jesus. Thank You. For being with me yesterday and giving me hope even through this day.
With all my love,
Lisa
I was SO hungry because I'd been on a no carb diet for 24 hrs for the test and really, really had not eaten much at all. When we got out my friend that took me drove me to Whole Foods to get some light and healthy food into me - quickly! THAT was wonderful. Just grapes, some lettuce, avocado sushi and a smoothee. I didn't eat it all but had some of all it and felt revived! :-)
There was no report yesterday. I will hear something possibly late this afternoon or in the morning we will see the Dr. at about 9:30.
I'm in the waiting mode. I wrote a song about that from Psalm 130..."I will wait on you, Lord, my soul shall wait". (I would post it here but I haven't figured out how to post a song). Anyway...I'm waiting. There's lots of peace and some fear that wonders what's next. Trying to cancel the fear and keep my mind on hope.
Thank you for ALL your prayers. And I know that some of you also fasted about this...and I thank you for that. I am walking through each day with the Lord's strength sustaining me. I KNOW it is all these prayers...and that you pray for our whole family...THANK YOU. Also, my sister is doing a little better each day. She got a cast put on yesterday. She has a dr. appt Thursday about various changes to her health needs. My mother-in-law is getting a little stronger and may actually be going back to her home today. Please keep them in your prayers too. So many of you know them that I just wanted to ask for prayers for them. Both are precious women of God.
Lord,
We've been here before. I'm waiting. I will whisper to You throughout this day to please hold me. I can feel Your peace Jesus. Thank You. For being with me yesterday and giving me hope even through this day.
With all my love,
Lisa
Monday, April 2, 2012
The last few days have been good. I got to go to church yesterday for the first time in a long while. We didn't stay for the whole service but went to our Bible class, sang some worship songs and then we headed home. My energy is limited, but it was so good to go and to see sweet friends.
I thank you all for your prayers about tomorrow. I am mostly peace filled, but sometimes the questions and worry creep in, which I know is just real. I have been reading the Word and other things that keep saying "just trust in Me". Today's verse has been the following:
It says "lean not on your own understanding". I am there. There is so much I do not understand. I am just repeating over and over "I trust You, Jesus" and when I do that, it is an acknowledgement of my lack of ability to understand or fix this or solve it. It is a surrender to God that says "I'm yours...no matter what".
I've had 2 friends come to stay with me today, which was a blessing. This evening some of our church elders/shepherds are coming over at 7 to pray for me. Then some more friends, who have just arrived from Nigeria, are coming over to also pray for me. Tomorrow morning some women friends are coming at about 9 to pray for me. Friends have called or sent texts. I have been so blessed with many, many prayers.
I'd like to add on some other prayer requests on this post. My sister Judy was in a car accident Saturday night. Overall she was okay, but did break her arm. My 90 year old mother-in-law fell Friday night about midnight and is now in the hospital. She had a small fracture in her facial bone but did not break anything else. I just hate that they had the accidents and are having to suffer at all. Please pray for both of them to heal and to regain their strength from the Lord.
I guess that's all. The scan is Tuesday at noon. I'll hear the results either Wed. or Thursday. I truly thank you for your prayers and love. Forever grateful.
Jesus,
Please hold me close to You tonight and tomorrow. Send Your Holy Spirit to comfort and give me hope minute by minute. That's all...I will trust You O God. And I ask, one more time, please...no cancer.
In Your powerful and holy Name,
Amen.
I thank you all for your prayers about tomorrow. I am mostly peace filled, but sometimes the questions and worry creep in, which I know is just real. I have been reading the Word and other things that keep saying "just trust in Me". Today's verse has been the following:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5,6
It says "lean not on your own understanding". I am there. There is so much I do not understand. I am just repeating over and over "I trust You, Jesus" and when I do that, it is an acknowledgement of my lack of ability to understand or fix this or solve it. It is a surrender to God that says "I'm yours...no matter what".
I've had 2 friends come to stay with me today, which was a blessing. This evening some of our church elders/shepherds are coming over at 7 to pray for me. Then some more friends, who have just arrived from Nigeria, are coming over to also pray for me. Tomorrow morning some women friends are coming at about 9 to pray for me. Friends have called or sent texts. I have been so blessed with many, many prayers.
I'd like to add on some other prayer requests on this post. My sister Judy was in a car accident Saturday night. Overall she was okay, but did break her arm. My 90 year old mother-in-law fell Friday night about midnight and is now in the hospital. She had a small fracture in her facial bone but did not break anything else. I just hate that they had the accidents and are having to suffer at all. Please pray for both of them to heal and to regain their strength from the Lord.
I guess that's all. The scan is Tuesday at noon. I'll hear the results either Wed. or Thursday. I truly thank you for your prayers and love. Forever grateful.
Jesus,
Please hold me close to You tonight and tomorrow. Send Your Holy Spirit to comfort and give me hope minute by minute. That's all...I will trust You O God. And I ask, one more time, please...no cancer.
In Your powerful and holy Name,
Amen.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
More good news
Okay, another update...praise God! I went to LR today and got my lab drawn (one stick by the way, yay) and headed home with my friend who had taken me. I wasn't expecting to hear until tomorrow but they called in the afternoon. CALCIUM DOWN AGAIN! YAY !!!! Monday it was 11.8 and today (drum roll) it was 11.2 !!! WOOHOO!
I just saw the lab from when we were in Nashville and when all this calcium mess started my level was 13.3. SO...praise God...it is coming down, coming down! SO thankful! And SO thankful for your prayers! You all are bold intercessors.
Today was another good day emotionally. I think it's being off the prednisone and the other drug, PLUS the good news of the calcium levels coming down. But MOST of all...it's God. I give Him the glory and credit and praise and love. It all weaves together...He is in charge of every aspect of our being. Yay God!
I continue to spread the word to ask people to pray for Tuesday's scan. So many of you have already said you would be praying and I am thankful!
Oh God,
Tonight my heart feels full of hope! I thank You for the good news today. I thank You for my emotions being more stable. Thank You for food that tasted good and friends that sent encouragement my way. What a good day Lord. Thank You O God! As we are approaching the week of Easter, Lord I am celebrating early. Thank You for coming to save us, for Your love and sacrifice. I just...I just... love You (she said with happy tears welling up in her eyes.)
"I will call to mind the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will meditate on all your works and think about your mighty deeds. Your way, O God, is holy. What god is great like our God?" Psalm 77:11-13
Thank You SO much for this day.
With all my love and with a heart full of thankfulness,
Lisa
I just saw the lab from when we were in Nashville and when all this calcium mess started my level was 13.3. SO...praise God...it is coming down, coming down! SO thankful! And SO thankful for your prayers! You all are bold intercessors.
Today was another good day emotionally. I think it's being off the prednisone and the other drug, PLUS the good news of the calcium levels coming down. But MOST of all...it's God. I give Him the glory and credit and praise and love. It all weaves together...He is in charge of every aspect of our being. Yay God!
I continue to spread the word to ask people to pray for Tuesday's scan. So many of you have already said you would be praying and I am thankful!
Oh God,
Tonight my heart feels full of hope! I thank You for the good news today. I thank You for my emotions being more stable. Thank You for food that tasted good and friends that sent encouragement my way. What a good day Lord. Thank You O God! As we are approaching the week of Easter, Lord I am celebrating early. Thank You for coming to save us, for Your love and sacrifice. I just...I just... love You (she said with happy tears welling up in her eyes.)
"I will call to mind the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will meditate on all your works and think about your mighty deeds. Your way, O God, is holy. What god is great like our God?" Psalm 77:11-13
Thank You SO much for this day.
With all my love and with a heart full of thankfulness,
Lisa
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