Today is October 18th, 2009. Three years ago on this day I went to see a breast surgeon in Little Rock. She examined me and then started telling me all the tests that she was scheduling in the next 48 hours. I looked at her and said "so...are you concerned?" She said "Yes." I said "Are you very concerned?" And she looked me in the eye and said "Yes." Then I paused before I asked one more question. "Are you sure?" She looked at me this time with sadness and said "Yes."
That was the start of this journey.
More tests, more tears, emails,phone calls, prayers going on all over the country, a fast trip to see my parents. Then it was time to start the treatments: 4 chemos, surgery, 4 more chemos, 33 radiation treatments. Nine months later I finished my first marathon. God was so good, running before me and in me. Oh...what a wonderful, faithful God!
At my one year anniversary the craziness started up again. Scans, MRI, etc. all showed that I had metastatic bone cancer in my humerus and scapula. More tests, more tears, more crying out to the Lord, more gathering of prayers...but this time the story ended differently. God mercifully rescued me from the valley of death. One final test,a needle biopsy, determined that there was no cancer. Woohoo! That was very, very good news!
Since then I have had good reports, good tests, good exams. God has blessed me so much with an incredible husband and four wonderful children. My extended family and friends have been supportive, loving, encouraging prayer warriors. God worked through each one to hold me up throughout this race. Thank you to all of you!!!
This past year, the third year of this journey, has been a year of adventure. I wanted to step out, making decisions based on trusting God rather than fear. I had always thought I'd go to Africa with Tom SOMEDAY, but I wondered in my heart if I really could do that trip. Well, I did. I went to Africa in February, went to Ghana. It was an incredible trip. My eyes and my heart were opened up to the great need of that nation. I wasn't sure I was physically strong enough to do the trip, but I decided to go and just see God give me the strength for each day. And...He did.
I also went on a road trip by myself to Denver, CO and back this fall. That was a different kind of adventure, but still eye opening and wonderful. The Lord was with me and showed me amazing things along the way. I was so glad to get to do it. I'll write more about that some other time.
God continues to give me opportunities to sing and to speak to groups from time to time...to tell people that He is so good and loves us so much. I continue to work on my CD. I'm slowly getting there. Maybe I'll finish by Christmas. It looks like it will be a two disc album. I've waited so long to do this that I had a lot of songs to include on the CD.
So...it's been a great year. I praise God for His love and mercy over my life.
What are the main things that I've learned since October 18th, 2006?
I've learned that I am blessed beyond belief with people who love me. I am so grateful for each one. So blessed!
I've learned that God is still very, very near to me, even when life unfolds unexpectedly. He will never leave me.
I've learned to pray for everything and anything and all the whatevers in my life. I will boldly go to God with all my heart, trusting Him for whatever the answer will be, even if it's not what I thought it would be.
I've learned to truly live one day at a time, and to wake up thankful for that day.
I've learned to speak words of love to people around me more openly and to ask for forgiveness more quickly. I want everything said that needs to be said in that day.
I've learned to give grace more freely because I want to receive it more freely.
I've learned to recognize when fear sneaks into my thinking and to send it away. Perfect love, God's love, casts out fear. I want to live more and more courageously.
I've learned that healing is still happening today. Radical healing, "mighty acts of God" kind of healing. I want to believe and see more and more of it.
And I've learned that God redeems everything...even when it looks bad, He will redeem it for good. Yes, even cancer.
Oh Redeemer, God Most High,
I thank You for Your love and for Your forgiveness and mercy. I thank You for rescuing me from sickness and bringing me to strength and hope in You. I thank You for my loved ones, some nearby, some scattered around the world. I thank You for this day and that Your mercy is new every morning.
Thank You, Lord.... for these past three years of life.
In Jesus Name. Amen.
