Two weeks have gone by and my job was to rest...and I did. Slowly after week one I could feel my body recovering. The low grade fever that was coming and going finally left. My appetite improved. My overall strength improved. Last week I actually went for a walk in the neighborhood 3 times, which was great! I didn't go far but I still was proud that I walked to James Street and back. My emotions have improved as well. I felt so discouraged after the surgery, but I feel hope again. (The physical really effects the mind and heart so much.) Overall, God has restored my strength. Yay!
So now...I will see the oncologist tomorrow (Monday). If she thinks that I am strong enough, I will begin chemo treatment tomorrow. We will try Carboplatin this time, a drug that I have not used yet. I've heard good things about it, even that the side effects are not as difficult as some, which was good to hear. I may or may not lose my hair. Right now, my hair is very thin...but still there! (yay) Don't know how I'll respond to Carboplatin, but if I do lose my hair, I've already got a wig ready to flop on. If I start tomorrow, then it will be given to me every 3 weeks. I don't know how many rounds I'll receive before I get scans to see if it's working. But I think I will get some scans done about the first of December to see how well the liver procedure worked. That's all I know at this point.
God continues to bless me...everyday. He is so good. He is faithful to carry me through each day, whether it is an easy day or difficult. I wake up and wonder what the day will look like, and just thank Him for giving me one more day. None of us know what our days will look like, but when I start the day with hopeful anticipation, looking for God to show up here and there throughout the day, it truly fills my heart with hope. His mercies ARE new every morning.
God,
Thank You for this day...Your special day, set aside to worship and praise You. You are so wonderful and sweet to me. Yes, this is hard, O God...but You have kept Your promise to never leave me alone. When I whisper Your Name or... if I yell it out in agony...You hear my voice and come. Thank You. Please continue to give my family and me Your sustaining strength for each day. Please help me to eat and sleep well. And please, if You are going to use medicine to heal me Lord, let this chemo be the drug that You use to win the battle. If You heal me without medicine, which I believe and know You can do, then...come soon O Lord. I trust in Your powerful Love, and know that You are tenderly watching over me in this valley. I love You, O God, with all my heart. Forever I will praise You and thank You.
In Jesus' sweet Name,
Amen.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Rest
Saw my doctor Monday. She quickly assessed that I did not need to get chemo yet, but needed to rest for two more weeks. She said that the liver procedure/surgery "was a big, big deal". When she told me some people who undergo that procedure stay a couple of weeks in the hospital, I was shocked! I guess I've been thinking that I should have rebounded in 3 or 4 days, and when it wasn't happening, I felt discouraged. She reminded me that anytime you are under anesthesia, having your body worked on, and in this case, an organ, it is very hard for your body to recover.
That helped me a lot! Took some kind of imaginary timetable out of my mind. I think the hospital folks said I would just need some pain meds for 2 or 3 days and then I'd be fine. But...I haven't. Over the weekend, I had fever and acheyness. After I saw my doctor, I felt better just knowing I wasn't "behind" in recovering. I was really dreading the chemo treatment because I just didn't feel well. I know how hard it hits my body when I get it. But, she cancelled the treatment, so that was good too. My prayer before I went in was to ask the Lord to speak through my doctor...that her decision was His decision. I didn't know what would happen...chemo or no chemo. And I told her my fears of delaying the chemo again, and that maybe we shouldn't have done the liver procedure. She said "no, no, no...the liver procedure WAS the right decision and now you have to heal and get your strength back. We're on the right track." I am trusting my prayer was answered. That God gave her wisdom to assess my body. And she said "Rest". That does sound like God. It's something He says often to all of us.
So, now I'm trying to take it slow. I did a little better today, but had a low grade fever again last night. Just going to take each day slowly.
Please pray for my emotions to regain hope and strength, please pray for my body to heal. And, always, always...please pray for my precious family...each one of them: Tom, Jesse, Betsy, Jamie and Mary. This is as hard on them to go through as it is me, I believe. It requires lots of caregiving and support, while they continue to lead their daily lives. The struggle of emotions are tucked away so they can be strong for the moment and for me. They are amazing!
God,
Thank You for answering my specific prayer on Monday. You know that I am so grateful for my doctor. She is Yours and hears Your voice. I am trusting You, oh God, that this rest is the written prescription from Your hand. Please strengthen all of my precious family with the breath of Your loving Spirit and Your strength. It is all we need. We love you, oh God. Today belongs to You. I give You praise this day and always.
Your daughter,
Lisa
That helped me a lot! Took some kind of imaginary timetable out of my mind. I think the hospital folks said I would just need some pain meds for 2 or 3 days and then I'd be fine. But...I haven't. Over the weekend, I had fever and acheyness. After I saw my doctor, I felt better just knowing I wasn't "behind" in recovering. I was really dreading the chemo treatment because I just didn't feel well. I know how hard it hits my body when I get it. But, she cancelled the treatment, so that was good too. My prayer before I went in was to ask the Lord to speak through my doctor...that her decision was His decision. I didn't know what would happen...chemo or no chemo. And I told her my fears of delaying the chemo again, and that maybe we shouldn't have done the liver procedure. She said "no, no, no...the liver procedure WAS the right decision and now you have to heal and get your strength back. We're on the right track." I am trusting my prayer was answered. That God gave her wisdom to assess my body. And she said "Rest". That does sound like God. It's something He says often to all of us.
So, now I'm trying to take it slow. I did a little better today, but had a low grade fever again last night. Just going to take each day slowly.
Please pray for my emotions to regain hope and strength, please pray for my body to heal. And, always, always...please pray for my precious family...each one of them: Tom, Jesse, Betsy, Jamie and Mary. This is as hard on them to go through as it is me, I believe. It requires lots of caregiving and support, while they continue to lead their daily lives. The struggle of emotions are tucked away so they can be strong for the moment and for me. They are amazing!
God,
Thank You for answering my specific prayer on Monday. You know that I am so grateful for my doctor. She is Yours and hears Your voice. I am trusting You, oh God, that this rest is the written prescription from Your hand. Please strengthen all of my precious family with the breath of Your loving Spirit and Your strength. It is all we need. We love you, oh God. Today belongs to You. I give You praise this day and always.
Your daughter,
Lisa
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