Glass Half Full

Yesterday, the appointment started out hard. Usually the first thing they do is take blood for tests, then I see the doctor, then I get my treatment. That means two needle sticks. SO...I thought...why not just get the I.V. and they can draw the blood for the lab from the I.V., so I'll have one stick instead of two. Good idea. I did it last month...and it went well. I was so proud of my idea. :-)

But yesterday... it did not work. I went in to get the I.V. and the nurse (who I really like and totally trust her abilities) had a very hard time finding a vein to use.

Veins are tricky. They actually have a mind of their own. They try to dodge needles, roll over, run away...very independent body parts. She tried twice and the veins "blew"...which, is a horrible way to say the vein broke and leaked internally. So they sent me back to the lab. (The lab doesn't start I.V.s, so they can get the blood easier. The I.V. has to thread deeper into the vein.) Okay...now I'm up to 3 sticks.

Next, saw the doctor. She said things looked good...I was staying on course well. I will have one more treatment in April, then I'll have scans in May to see how these are working.

Then, went back to the chemo room to try to start the I.V. again. She had another unsuccessful try on the top of my hand. Finally, on try #4, she got the I.V. in. I got the Zometa, took about 30 minutes. Then I got the 2 shots of Faslodex.

All together...7 sticks.

By the time I left the doctor's office...I was...hmmmm...VERY happy to see the out of doors.

My friend and I were driving to get lunch and then... I got a call on my cell phone.

"Mrs. Carr?"
"Yes."
"This is Julie. We got your tumor marker test results back already. Last month your number was 37, with 31 as normal. You've gone down to 32!" WOW...that is great news, really great news!!! I was SO glad to hear the progress in the healing department.

When I got home, I analyzed the day. In John 10:10 it says that Satan's job is to "steal, kill and destroy". I thought...you know...he totally wanted to take away the joy of the day, which was the improved test results. The morning needle troubles were hard and certainly discouraging BUT the highlight of the day was the improved tumor marker results.

I do not want to look at yesterday and remember that it was a hard lab day. I choose to remember that yesterday I found out GREAT news...my tumor marker test was almost normal. THAT is the summary of the day. Satan would like for me to stay focused on the negative...then would he would be victorious at "stealing" my joy.

I will not give him any victory.

Psalm 71:14,15
But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.
My mouth will tell of Your righteousness, of Your salvation all day long, though I know not its measure.

O God Most High,
You are so good. When the things around me look difficult, I will look to You...for You are faithful to walk with me through anything and everything. I am, by nature, a glass half empty person...but by Your Spirit, you fill me up with hope and peace, so that I see the glass half full. Not by my own nature, but by Your Spirit living in me. All praise to You. I love You. I trust You. I thank You, O God.
In Jesus', Amen.

Springtime Hope

Last week was a good week! It was such a blessing to see some buttercups along the road in Searcy on the way to Mary's school. Yes...hope is certainly an important part of this battle. God is filling me up day by day with His peace and hope.

It comes in small ways, like buttercups peaking out. It also comes in the form of little touches of encouragement that loved ones send my way. Notes, texts, facebook hellos, snail mail, phone calls, food delivered...and much more! God has blessed our family with continual love and encouragement. It is really His love, expressed through others. I'm so, so thankful! It really does carry me through the day.

Medically...I went yesterday to get my third treatment...2 shots of Faslodex and the I.V. bone strengthener. Some of you have asked me about these meds, but they are NOT chemo, and I'm not doing radiation. These are meds that are taken to stop the growth of the tumor and to strengthen the bones. It went well. A dear friend took me and after I was finished we enjoyed a nice lunch together in North Little Rock.

Last month I did not feel so well the next day. So I was kind of holding my breath to see how I'd feel when I woke up this morning. But TODAY...I'm doing fine! I have been praising God for this day and for sparing me of the flu-like symptoms. It's been a great day.

Hosea 6:3
Let us acknowledge the LORD; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.”

O Lord God,
We DO acknowledge You! You alone are our God, the One and Only. Thank You for the ways that You appear to us everyday. You are faithful and good. Rain on us, O God, to give us Your Spirit. Increase our hearts with hope and peace. We give You the praise for this day. Thank You.
In Jesus' Name. Amen.