Walking by faith

It's been 2 weeks since I have written.  I had just received my second treatment that Monday. 

I did fine on Tuesday...had lots of energy. I started doing things around the house that I don't usually have the energy to do...simple chores. I was so happy to be getting around so well.   But on Wednesday,  I woke up having a hard time.  Physically hurting and emotionally down.  I remembered that on Monday they give steroids with the chemo and that is why on Tuesday I felt so strong and able to do things.  But the steroid buzz was gone on Wednesday and I had to deal with all the "stuff"...hurting and emotions.

I'd like to say that I rebounded on Thursday but the last two weeks have been up and down.  Really, I just read my last blog, and it is the same thing.  Good days and not so good days.

I go on Monday to see my oncologist.  They will check some of my blood work...my CBC, the calcium and a tumor marker test.  The real question is "Is the chemo working?" and I don't think they can really tell unless they do a scan.  So I guess I will find out Monday if she is scheduling a scan.

I don't know "if it's working".  I am trying to walk by faith, believing that the chemo is killing the cancer, believing when I cannot see.   That's hard.

If I keep my eyes focused on the things that I "feel"...my physical symptoms and emotions...then I am not focused on the Hope of Jesus Christ and what I see in the Word of God.  Please pray for my eyes to stay on Jesus and to hear and take in the Scriptures in my heart.  Please continue to pray for healing.  Please pray for strength in my mind to counter the discouraging thoughts that come and go in my mind.  I want to fight.  I don't want to give up.  I can ONLY do that with God's strength.  And please...continue to pray for my husband and our children.  It is a lot to carry day by day.  I love them so much and want them to be filled with God's hope and strength.  Thank you again for your faithfulness to pray for all of us!