Scans on Friday

This Friday, December 14th, I have CT scans and a bone scan scheduled for around 10:30 am.  The purpose is to look inside and (1)see how my liver is doing 3 months after the ablation and (2)to see the other bones and how the chemo has addressed the cancerous lesions on various bones, vertebrae and ribs. 

"On the one hand"  (as Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof said)....I want to know what things look like inside.  I want to see how the liver is healing and to see the chemo's work.  BUT, "on the other hand"...it may not be good news.  My role is to stand before God and ask for His peace day by day and just wait till I hear the results.  Not easy.

I would like to ask you all to pray along with our family tomorrow... Thursday, December 13th, throughout the day...maybe even fast if you feel called to do so.   I went to our elders last week and asked for their prayers.  They anointed me with oil and boldly prayed for healing with great love.  I asked for prayer in our small group and they were so sweet to gather around me and pray for healing.  I know there are many, many people praying and I am SO thankful!  Thank you to all of you for your powerful love and prayers.

"All things are possible with God."  I do believe that and continue to hope for the impossible.  I confess that there are times when the tears break through and express the questions that I have deep in my heart.  Did the chemo work? What if it progressed? What would be the next step? When will I hear? What is God's plan? What if I do "go home" early?  What should I finish here?   The questions slide into fear and loss of hope.  I usually ask friends to come and pray for my mind to be filled with peace, and that I would keep my eyes focused on Jesus, talking to Him about all these things and then letting it go, giving it to Him.  As I approach the scan day, my mind begins to think "I must let go, there is nothing I can do to control this...it belongs in God's hands."

It is Wednesday night. Tomorrow I'll pray and worship the Lord. Then Friday I'll walk in the strength of the prayers of family and friends.  Then I'll lie down one more time and see what the Lord has done. 

Oh God,
One more time...hear our prayers.  Send Your Spirit to fill us with peace that passes understanding.  This looks like a mountain, Father.  Really high and wide and giant.  Father, please, move this mountain.  Not because I have such perfect faith. You said I just need a little mustard seed's size.  I've got that much Father.  Please, move this mountain. My hope is in You.
I love You.
Lisa