Seven years ago today, October 18th, 2006, I was diagnosed with lobular breast cancer, advanced stage 3. I went to the appointment in Little Rock by myself because Tom and I didn't think anything would happen at that appointment. We knew I was seeing the breast cancer surgeon, but we thought that she would say something like "yes, I can feel something but let's get some scans to be sure." She was sure enough to tell me right then and there, last appointment of her day, that she was sure it was cancer. I was in shock. (The next day the scans, biopsy and general testing began hurriedly.) It was the last time that I went to doctors alone. I could barely drive home, going about 45 miles per hour from Baptist hospital area through North Little Rock and on to Searcy. I got off on the exit for Cabot, pulled into the parking lot for Home Depot, called Tom with tears falling off my face. He said he would come get me in Cabot, but I said "no" and kept going. I made it home.
Seven years ago I was shocked with this news. Tears were plentiful.
But today...there were some tears in the first part of the morning, but as the day went on, God lifted my heart. Tom encouraged me, prayed with me, and took me to get mums and pumpkins for decoration. A sister called to check on me, to lovingly listen one more time. Then, a dear friend came to sit and visit with me, quietly listening to me talk and gently sharing her encouraging words as we sat outside in the sunshine. While we were sitting there another friend delivered a beautiful bouquet of flowers from another friend who lives in Fayetteville, AR. Perfect timing. Then we went out to eat with Jamie and Natalie...nice visit time! All the quiet, precious moments. In those seven years I learned that every action of love...listening, phone calls, flowers, gifts, pumpkins, hugs, and much, much more are all Jesus showing up in my day. His Presence is felt. I believe it is God, not random acts of kindness, but purposeful acts of love. Thank You God!
The seven years have been hard, full of opportunities to learn life lessons and to receive lots of strength from God. Here I am seven years later...not knowing what I have to face next week, or the next week, much less next month or year. I am walking in trust and hope and faith...one day at a time. That's the biggest lesson I have learned...to live ONE DAY AT A TIME.
"Don't be anxious about tomorrow. Tomorrow's anxious for itself. Today's own troubles are enough for today. And put away all your yesterdays. Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you."
Seven years. I am grateful for every one of them. God has blessed me so much to witness important milestones. I've lost friends in those years, not understanding all the questions of why. I miss them. I don't wear pink ribbons or bracelets except in the month of October. I'm wearing them this month, as a remembrance of those that lost their battle but won the war. And I thank God over and over for this gift called life.
Tomorrow is October19th. Life will continue. I will awaken and slowly get going for the day. The words "thank You God for another day" are prayed in the first hour of the day. I'll look for the sweetness of God in the quiet events of my quiet but full life. I'm thankful for this day and I thank God for October 19th as well.
God,
This has been a day of remembering but not lingering over the past. I do not want to "remember" all the difficult milestones. They are too much. BUT I do want to celebrate today! Life is from You, and I am thankful for today. Please continue to hold us up with Your amazing love. Please give us strength and joy as our family, together, fights this battle. Pour hope into our minds. I do not want to lose hope, O God. You alone are the source of that hope. Thank You! I love You, forever, dear God. I am trusting You to cover me with Your powerful Love.
In the Name of Your Son, Jesus,
Amen.
Lisa
Friday, October 18, 2013
Saturday, October 12, 2013
He's Forever Faithful
Thanks so much for your prayers for last Wednesday! The stent surgery went well, no complications or problems. Tom and I went to the hospital at 9:30 am and came home around 3:30 pm.
When we got home, we were bracing ourselves for the recovery but Thursday I woke up feeling fine, and continued to have a great day. Friday was the same. We have been praising God for making this surgery recovery easier than the last surgery in August. I think the last one was difficult because it had all started with a traumatic situation...renal failure. I spent a total of five days in the hospital trying to get all my numbers back to normal, plus just recovering from the surgery. This time has been completely calm. Yay God! I believe it's the prayers. Since this is a surgery I have to have every 2 months, it certainly has given me less dread of the next time. That is a huge mental/emotional blessing on the side.
Right now the battle issue, (besides the overall war with cancer), is that I am having problems with swelling in my legs and feet. People say "what's causing that?"
My lymphatic system in the pelvic area is effected by cancerous spots in that area. Because the lymph nodes are not doing what they're meant to do, pulling the lymphatic fluids out of my lower body, the fluid is in my legs and my feet. Both are puffy and stretched larger than they should be. That makes it a little difficult to walk now. I also am still fighting the celluitis in the right foot with antibiotics. It appears to be pretty much gone. Hooray!!! But the foot is still tender, with kind of a bruised feeling underneath the skin. My prayer request for this week is for the swelling to go away! Please pray for the lymph nodes to be healed. That sounds big, but I believe in praying big. Yes, continue that prayer with an overall "no more cancer" prayer. Nothing is impossible with God.
This coming week I don't have any appointments (woohoo!). I'm supposed to finish recovering and then I'll get back to chemo treatments the week of the 21st.
Thank you so much for praying about last week...and for being ready to continue week after week. There is one event that is happening this coming week. Friday, October 18th, marks the day I was first diagnosed in 2006. I don't want to rejoice that I got cancer, but I will celebrate that I have lived 7 more years of life. I'll write more about that on Friday. I'll use this coming week to be thankful to God for being with me every day of those 7 years. He is forever faithful.
God,
Thank You for being with me last week, especially on Wednesday! I'm so grateful to You that it went smoothly, no problems. Thank You! Thanks for the rain this morning, for the sunshine this afternoon. Thanks for my dinner date with my true love last night. Thank You for all the sweet ways You walk with me everyday. Thank You most of all, for loving me. Thanks. Because of that love, I can walk forward, unafraid of the days ahead. I know that no matter what will happen, You will not walk away from me. That brings incredible peace that I could never just muster up...it's from You.
With much, much love,
your daughter Lisa
When we got home, we were bracing ourselves for the recovery but Thursday I woke up feeling fine, and continued to have a great day. Friday was the same. We have been praising God for making this surgery recovery easier than the last surgery in August. I think the last one was difficult because it had all started with a traumatic situation...renal failure. I spent a total of five days in the hospital trying to get all my numbers back to normal, plus just recovering from the surgery. This time has been completely calm. Yay God! I believe it's the prayers. Since this is a surgery I have to have every 2 months, it certainly has given me less dread of the next time. That is a huge mental/emotional blessing on the side.
Right now the battle issue, (besides the overall war with cancer), is that I am having problems with swelling in my legs and feet. People say "what's causing that?"
My lymphatic system in the pelvic area is effected by cancerous spots in that area. Because the lymph nodes are not doing what they're meant to do, pulling the lymphatic fluids out of my lower body, the fluid is in my legs and my feet. Both are puffy and stretched larger than they should be. That makes it a little difficult to walk now. I also am still fighting the celluitis in the right foot with antibiotics. It appears to be pretty much gone. Hooray!!! But the foot is still tender, with kind of a bruised feeling underneath the skin. My prayer request for this week is for the swelling to go away! Please pray for the lymph nodes to be healed. That sounds big, but I believe in praying big. Yes, continue that prayer with an overall "no more cancer" prayer. Nothing is impossible with God.
This coming week I don't have any appointments (woohoo!). I'm supposed to finish recovering and then I'll get back to chemo treatments the week of the 21st.
Thank you so much for praying about last week...and for being ready to continue week after week. There is one event that is happening this coming week. Friday, October 18th, marks the day I was first diagnosed in 2006. I don't want to rejoice that I got cancer, but I will celebrate that I have lived 7 more years of life. I'll write more about that on Friday. I'll use this coming week to be thankful to God for being with me every day of those 7 years. He is forever faithful.
God,
Thank You for being with me last week, especially on Wednesday! I'm so grateful to You that it went smoothly, no problems. Thank You! Thanks for the rain this morning, for the sunshine this afternoon. Thanks for my dinner date with my true love last night. Thank You for all the sweet ways You walk with me everyday. Thank You most of all, for loving me. Thanks. Because of that love, I can walk forward, unafraid of the days ahead. I know that no matter what will happen, You will not walk away from me. That brings incredible peace that I could never just muster up...it's from You.
With much, much love,
your daughter Lisa
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Appointments, Sweet Moments and Victory
One week ago on Monday, my doctor diagnosed that my right foot had celluitis. So, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I received antibiotics by IV to attack the infection. On Wednesday my doctor said that it had improved enough that I could begin the antibiotics orally at home, instead of coming into Little Rock and being hospitalized. That was great news! I also received fluids that day, as she thought I may have been dehydrated. I think she was right because Thursday I woke up feeling so much better! Really, I felt great Thursday on...just felt stronger, no nausea. Yay God!
I also had a short visit from our oldest child, Jesse over the weekend. That is always great medicine! He and his friend Peyton came over to film the musical I wrote about the Biblical story of the prodigal son, called Prodigals. They began filming Sunday afternoon about 1:30 and finished around 9 pm! I was SO grateful to God that I felt well enough to sit and watch the production work. I didn't stay the whole time, but I stayed a lot longer than I thought I could. It really was exciting! Jesse and Peyton did a great job and the cast was SO wonderful, SO talented. The whole day was touching to me because I felt like I was watching a dream of my heart coming true. God is moving forward with the music of Prodigals, and I can truly say it has happened by His hand. The Holy Spirit has quietly moved other people to have the same heart desire, the same vision that I have had for years...and they are making it happen. Wow. God is so good.
I went to the doctor yesterday, Monday, and she examined my foot again. It was declared "improved", which is a word I always like hearing. My blood count number was low, so she wanted me to get another blood transfusion. I received IV fluids yesterday. Today I am going in to get the transfusion. I believe this may be my fourth one this year.
Wednesday is a day I'd really like your prayers. I will have outpatient surgery to remove and replace stents that are in the ureters, from the kidney to the bladder. They have to be replaced every 2 months. Yes, every two months. Sounds like a lot, but...the alternative is to have blocked kidneys that do not function. I'll take the surgery.
I think that's about it. God continues to hold us up week after week. Some of the sweet highlights of last week...
*a visit from a dear young girlfriend from Nashville, Ashley
*a meal brought from dear friends at our church
*a greatly needed haircut from another dear friend, who comes to my house and cuts
my hair
*more food from another family we love at our church
*drop in visits from our grown up college girl, Mary
*Jamie's weekend visit
*Betsy's gift of taking me to appointments
*two precious young visitors for Sunday lunch...Miss Naomi and Miss Olivia (and
their daddy too) :-)
*Jesse's visit and gift of filming Prodigals
*our small group at church came over to our home and shared communion and
loving conversation with us
*lots of texts and calls
*and...always...the tender support of my true love, Tommy Carr
All of this is like the story of Moses needing his arms held up, literally. The Israelites would have victory as long as his arms were up. So men began to support them, so he wouldn't weary. (Exodus 17:8-13) They sat Moses on a rock and then they held up his hands. At the end of the day, God had defeated their enemies. Victory.
Dear Father,
That is such an amazing story. Lord, I'm not Moses, but I know You love all of us as much as You loved him. We all get weary. I'm tired of all of this. I know there are others that have big issues that they are tired of too. Thank You, Father, for sending help, for sending people to hold up our arms.
Let me focus on the sweet moments of each day, and not dwell on the hard moments. I do praise You! Thank You for faithfully and lovingly holding me up day after day, week after week. I could NOT move forward through even one day without You. I love You and will continue to love You all of my days.
Your daughter forever,
Lisa
I also had a short visit from our oldest child, Jesse over the weekend. That is always great medicine! He and his friend Peyton came over to film the musical I wrote about the Biblical story of the prodigal son, called Prodigals. They began filming Sunday afternoon about 1:30 and finished around 9 pm! I was SO grateful to God that I felt well enough to sit and watch the production work. I didn't stay the whole time, but I stayed a lot longer than I thought I could. It really was exciting! Jesse and Peyton did a great job and the cast was SO wonderful, SO talented. The whole day was touching to me because I felt like I was watching a dream of my heart coming true. God is moving forward with the music of Prodigals, and I can truly say it has happened by His hand. The Holy Spirit has quietly moved other people to have the same heart desire, the same vision that I have had for years...and they are making it happen. Wow. God is so good.
I went to the doctor yesterday, Monday, and she examined my foot again. It was declared "improved", which is a word I always like hearing. My blood count number was low, so she wanted me to get another blood transfusion. I received IV fluids yesterday. Today I am going in to get the transfusion. I believe this may be my fourth one this year.
Wednesday is a day I'd really like your prayers. I will have outpatient surgery to remove and replace stents that are in the ureters, from the kidney to the bladder. They have to be replaced every 2 months. Yes, every two months. Sounds like a lot, but...the alternative is to have blocked kidneys that do not function. I'll take the surgery.
I think that's about it. God continues to hold us up week after week. Some of the sweet highlights of last week...
*a visit from a dear young girlfriend from Nashville, Ashley
*a meal brought from dear friends at our church
*a greatly needed haircut from another dear friend, who comes to my house and cuts
my hair
*more food from another family we love at our church
*drop in visits from our grown up college girl, Mary
*Jamie's weekend visit
*Betsy's gift of taking me to appointments
*two precious young visitors for Sunday lunch...Miss Naomi and Miss Olivia (and
their daddy too) :-)
*Jesse's visit and gift of filming Prodigals
*our small group at church came over to our home and shared communion and
loving conversation with us
*lots of texts and calls
*and...always...the tender support of my true love, Tommy Carr
All of this is like the story of Moses needing his arms held up, literally. The Israelites would have victory as long as his arms were up. So men began to support them, so he wouldn't weary. (Exodus 17:8-13) They sat Moses on a rock and then they held up his hands. At the end of the day, God had defeated their enemies. Victory.
Dear Father,
That is such an amazing story. Lord, I'm not Moses, but I know You love all of us as much as You loved him. We all get weary. I'm tired of all of this. I know there are others that have big issues that they are tired of too. Thank You, Father, for sending help, for sending people to hold up our arms.
Let me focus on the sweet moments of each day, and not dwell on the hard moments. I do praise You! Thank You for faithfully and lovingly holding me up day after day, week after week. I could NOT move forward through even one day without You. I love You and will continue to love You all of my days.
Your daughter forever,
Lisa
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Little Rock Trips
Yesterday, Monday Sept. 30th, Tom and I went to see my doctor in Little Rock. I found out that I have celluitis in my right foot now. A couple of weeks ago it was across my lower abdomen, but that cleared that up with antibiotics. Now, for some reason unknown, it moved to my foot.
I received an IV antibiotic yesterday and I'm going in today for more. Then, on Wednesday they will evaluate whether it has improved. If so, I'll just finish out the antibiotic with pills at home. If not, then I will probably have to go into the hospital to get bigger antibiotics, given throughout the day.
Please pray for the foot to heal quickly and for God to bless me with healing from head to toe.
Thanks for praying!
I received an IV antibiotic yesterday and I'm going in today for more. Then, on Wednesday they will evaluate whether it has improved. If so, I'll just finish out the antibiotic with pills at home. If not, then I will probably have to go into the hospital to get bigger antibiotics, given throughout the day.
Please pray for the foot to heal quickly and for God to bless me with healing from head to toe.
Thanks for praying!
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